Nosy Female co-worker- the update.

:mad:!!!

whomever it was who posted for me to essentially CMA ( Cover My Ass)-
YOU get the gold star for the day.

Let's set the scene:
( And PLEASE do NOT be offended if I use any language as colorful as I did on the last post, but she has a REALLY trashy way of talking...And so do I, when I have to...)

We were at work today...
And a mutual friend of ours who's been on Maternity leave started back .
Anyway. they talked about SO much stuff -primarily the baby and assorted women things, not to be stereotypical.
I went on on to my specified assignment for the day, and, sadly, I was teamed with her.

This is where things get dicey.

Our dialogue:

She: So do you keep it on a leash?
Me: Wha?
She: Your dick- do you keep it on a leash?
Me: Shut up.
She: Are you all talk and no action or somethin'
Me: I said Shut up.

At this point , I turned away from her and she PINCHED my ass!

Me (sarcastically(???)): You know you want it, just come out and ask, will ya?

She:prob'ly can't last a minute, anyway.
Me (getting angry): On me... no, you couldn't.You best back off, little girl (although she's 43...:rolleyes:).
At this point, I walked away- best move of the night!

About 4 hours later, I was having a cigarette with some of my other co-workers when 3 of my managers, all women, and 2 security officers came out and escorted me into the Operations office.

I knew something wasn't right!

So ,I'm sitting here in the office with my Department Manager,Director of Operations, and Assistant General Managers, The Evil Monkey ("Pam"), and the EEO officer for the company... and NO union representation
Turns out SHE went to file a sexual harassment claim against ME!!!
I know my employee rights VERY well, and made it UNDENIABLY clear that I wasn't going to just sit there like a jackass in the sun and take it.
They were going to be in for ONE HELL of a fight!

I brought up the course of conversation that I listed in the last blog entry, and the multiple cases of questions in front of other people- like Deidre, who was brought in to verify that Pam had asked her questions about me.
Mika, the Assistant GM,asked Deidre exactly WHAT Pam asked me.

I made note that, prior to the "revelation" that got this crap started Pam has asked about my relationships, and included the assumptions about my orientation.

Mika was rather pissed, to say the least.
She ordered EVERYBODY out of the office, Save for me, Pam, and Deidre.
We all got chewed out harshly for our behavior, signed about 2 or three different counseling statements and affirmations that we would avoid no business conversation when were in the public.

After this, she gave us EACH a 3 day suspension- which gives me 10 days off (eeeeeewww that SUX!!!:confused::confused:)
Mika excused Pam and Deidre from the office, and, as I was leaving, she called me back.
Mika asked me if any of what she heard was true.

I said "Yes- in fact, all of it is.
She then ask me if I were really .. in her words..."packing"
Me (nervously, stammering):ah..um.. HMM?
Mika: Are you REALLY that big?
Me :Yes..
Mika:Yeah right..
(HERE IS WHERE MIKA MADE A MISTAKE!!!)
Yup-that good ol' Missouri Slogan-


"Show me"


Me: You sure? no Bullshit?
Mika: Show me.
Me (thinking to self): Why waste a good woody- what the hell?

So I did it-

Mika (Eyes wide open): Daaaaaaammn .


that said, I put my cock away, neatened myself up, and was about to go to my locker and head home, when Mika stopped me again....

"Don't you ever EVER tell anyone about what just happened"

I assured her that I wouldn't but this was something that wasn't going to continue.(After All, Traci is , for all practical purposes, going to be my "activity partner", so...- you do the math (Me+Traci-Mika=HEAVEN )
She asked me to show her one more time, and WHO the heck am I to deny a woman??
She grabbed it softly, and just seemed to enjoy thje warmth,(or something....).

I quickly pulled it away before anything else happened.. at I'm SURE it COULD have.
I made myself decent again, and walked from the office.
now THIS part is a hoot!

AFTER I leave the office, Pam is there.
Waiting for me!

She-"Sorry about all of that shit today. Guess I fucked up all of our paydays, didn't I"

Me-"Consider it an early vacation.No hard feelings, but just DON'T do that shit again, Feel me?? "

She-"I'd Love to... Wanna Fuck?"

And she was being SERIOUS.

Me- Ummm... I'd rather 69 a porcupine !"


(I JUST realized that it unintentionally RHYMED.)

So this little adventure is over... or is it BEGINNING???

Time (and horny executive women) are curious and malleable things..

Comments

no one should be treated like that, but in a way I wish that would happen to me
my boss is cute : o )
 
You sir are going to end up in court. First rule of business, you get into sexual situations in the office, the first person to worry about is the one who states "don't tell anyone about this."

Women will talk and someone is going to hear and it will be your butt in the sling.

It ain't over by a longshot.
 
a- NOT an exotic Fantasy, so , unless YOUR life takes an unexpected turn like this, I would greatly suggest you go READ those- they're FAR more entertaining than my life anytime-
-EXCEPT for this one....and a few others.

B-"the first person to worry about is the one who states "don't tell anyone about this."- Scroll back, Re-Read the section... SHE said that... not I...
And Finally, C:

READ Answer A.

I am fortunate / unfortunate / stupid / pragmatically suicidal- whatever the Hell you want to call it.
But I'm no liar, so , at the risk of sounding apathetic, You ARE entitled to your opinions... that's what these things are for....but , as the old saying goes... Ya had to be there!
Oh, By the way... and I can say this, and say it Rather SMUGLY-
"There is NO substitute for Experience "

Now that it has been said, let's just sit back at the campfire and continue singing "Kumbayah" , Okay ???
 
You have to admit it, 8dot. How are you gonna get charged with sexual harrassment, get disciplined by a superior, and then she'll turn around and ask you to show your dick? AND why you wasted a good blackmail slash quite the pension setup over a woody is beyond me.

For the record, the only time a superior said anything about my junk was -- ummm, never. I wore a sarong at a meeting and there was no modesty flap to be had, but a co-worker called me out at my dangle. I laughed it off.
 

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