All About Me

HiddenLacey · Aug 10, 2010

Cool thanks for sharing

) How long were you in your marriage? If I may ask? How did you know it was wrong?

Belly_Dancer · Aug 10, 2010

I was in my first marriage for over 14 years. I knew it was wrong very early on because we were just so incompatible. We liked to do different things, and although I was willing to compromise and take an interest in some of his activities, he was not willing to take an interest in mine. We had virtually nothing in common except sex and being musicians, but we fought even when we played music together, because we liked different sounds. In addition, I am submissive, and he was not dominant.

Most importantly, he just didn't care very much about other people's feelings, including mine. And could be very verbally vicious when he felt threatened, which was often, even though most of the time he had jumped to a conclusion and misunderstood me.

Over the years our continuous conflicts grew into mistrust and resentment. And once these were entrenched, they were almost impossible to reverse.

I'm not saying he was completely to blame for all our problems; I have my issues too. But our issues were a bad match for each other and it's kind of amazing we made it as long as we did.

Our religious beliefs (fundamentalist Christian) kept us in the relationship far longer than most people would have stayed in those circumstances. My religious beliefs changed over time, but then he got sick (diabetes) and I felt guilty at the idea of leaving him because I thought he couldn't take care of himself without me. I didn't want to be responsible for destroying his health.

Finally I realized his health was his own responsibility, not mine, and that I had put more than enough effort into trying to make the relationship work. When we broke it off, I felt nothing but a profound sense of peace and certain knowledge that I had made the right decision.

I now have a real problem with any religion that says you cannot get a divorce; I could have been saved years of loneliness and misery if I hadn't believed that leaving him would be morally wrong.

lpsgnoob · Sep 12, 2010

Hey thanks for sharing!! If you dont mind me asking;
was the cheating done in that horrible marriage??

All About Me

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HiddenLacey

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lpsgnoob

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