I was reading the post about have you ever snooped into your partner's computer. That made me think of my 3rd boyfriend and what happened to us.
This happened right after my 2nd boyfriend died and I made the mistake of jumping right into another relationship. (I was really messed up at the time.) The new guy and I had been seeing each other but we really hadn't talked about dating or a relationship. At the time, I thought he was seeing another guy (and he was). So one day, I snooped through his computer and saw where he had been writing another guy (who I actually knew but wasn't friends with). When he got home, I confronted him about this guy and we ended up having a huge fight over this.
I wish I would have never done it. I had no right to snoop on his computer. And I later found out that he had already broken up with the guy so he could be with me, but that part wasn't on his computer.
I know he lost faith in me for a while. Hell, I lost faith in myself for a while. We did end up staying together for 4 years. But even after 4 years, I was still a wreck from losing my 2nd boyfriend. After #3 and I broke up, I stayed single for a few years and I finally came to terms with the loss of #2. #3 was/is a great guy. I wish I would have been in a better place when I met him.
Now the really messed up part, about a year after we had broken up, I caught him spying on my emails.
One of the main things we agreed to when we broke up is that we wanted to try to be friends again. Our friendship had really dropped off while we were together. So after we broke up, we started hanging around together, went out to eat and go to the movies. We were actually getting along better now than when we were still together. Part of the breakup was that he was goign to keep the house. So I moved into an apartment. But another part of the breakup was that I was going to keep the dog (I got the better deal!)
About a year after I moved into the apartment, I was going to be gone to a conference for 5 days. Instead of having her locked up in a kennel, I asked if he would watch her. He agreed, so I gave him a key to my place. She was happy to be around him and I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it because he stayed at my place and got to play with her.
About a year after he had watched the dog, I finally noticed a feature of Gmail that I have never seen before. At the bottom of the screen, it showed your IP address and then gave a link to a log of the dates/times and IP addresses of the last logins. As I looked at these, I realized most of those IP addresses were not mine. I did a lot of researching the times and dates, and realized that 1) most of those times were when I was at work and 2) all of those times and dates were when #3 was not working. I looked at the IP addresses at they were to his internet company. And he was the ONLY person that had any access to my computer. So for almost a year, he was logging into my emails and reading them. He also had access to my emails that listed all my passwords to various websites, including the gay websites. So he was also logging into those gay websites and reading my messages there. That would explain why when I wasn't signed in, I was getting tons of messages. A few of the guys had said I was online at the time but I never replied back.
I thought about this for a while. I was really pissed off. I finally decided that I needed to deal with the situation. So I wrote myself an email. In the email I told #3 that I knew he was reading my emails and logging into websites using my logins/passwords. I told him I was very disappointed and I didn't know what to do. I felt that our attempt to be friends wasn't working out and that really hurt me.
I didn't know how to finish that email, so I sent it to myself and watched my mailbox. A few days later, I noticed that the email had been opened. I checked and saw he had logged into my account again. I went to my account settings and I changed my password. I then went to each one of my accounts and changed the passwords. At the time, I couldn't figure out a good password, so I used how I felt at the time. My password was FUCKYOU. Each time I signed in, the password hurt a little bit, made me glad a little bit and helped me grow from that situation. I didn't talk to him for many years after that happened. Only recently have I tried to communicate with him. I'm not sure that I want to be good friends with him. I doubt that would ever happen. But I do miss the incredible sex we used to have. I wouldn't mind being a fuckbuddy. I would like that a lot but I am not sure if I should travel that road again.
This happened right after my 2nd boyfriend died and I made the mistake of jumping right into another relationship. (I was really messed up at the time.) The new guy and I had been seeing each other but we really hadn't talked about dating or a relationship. At the time, I thought he was seeing another guy (and he was). So one day, I snooped through his computer and saw where he had been writing another guy (who I actually knew but wasn't friends with). When he got home, I confronted him about this guy and we ended up having a huge fight over this.
I wish I would have never done it. I had no right to snoop on his computer. And I later found out that he had already broken up with the guy so he could be with me, but that part wasn't on his computer.
I know he lost faith in me for a while. Hell, I lost faith in myself for a while. We did end up staying together for 4 years. But even after 4 years, I was still a wreck from losing my 2nd boyfriend. After #3 and I broke up, I stayed single for a few years and I finally came to terms with the loss of #2. #3 was/is a great guy. I wish I would have been in a better place when I met him.
Now the really messed up part, about a year after we had broken up, I caught him spying on my emails.
One of the main things we agreed to when we broke up is that we wanted to try to be friends again. Our friendship had really dropped off while we were together. So after we broke up, we started hanging around together, went out to eat and go to the movies. We were actually getting along better now than when we were still together. Part of the breakup was that he was goign to keep the house. So I moved into an apartment. But another part of the breakup was that I was going to keep the dog (I got the better deal!)
About a year after I moved into the apartment, I was going to be gone to a conference for 5 days. Instead of having her locked up in a kennel, I asked if he would watch her. He agreed, so I gave him a key to my place. She was happy to be around him and I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it because he stayed at my place and got to play with her.
About a year after he had watched the dog, I finally noticed a feature of Gmail that I have never seen before. At the bottom of the screen, it showed your IP address and then gave a link to a log of the dates/times and IP addresses of the last logins. As I looked at these, I realized most of those IP addresses were not mine. I did a lot of researching the times and dates, and realized that 1) most of those times were when I was at work and 2) all of those times and dates were when #3 was not working. I looked at the IP addresses at they were to his internet company. And he was the ONLY person that had any access to my computer. So for almost a year, he was logging into my emails and reading them. He also had access to my emails that listed all my passwords to various websites, including the gay websites. So he was also logging into those gay websites and reading my messages there. That would explain why when I wasn't signed in, I was getting tons of messages. A few of the guys had said I was online at the time but I never replied back.
I thought about this for a while. I was really pissed off. I finally decided that I needed to deal with the situation. So I wrote myself an email. In the email I told #3 that I knew he was reading my emails and logging into websites using my logins/passwords. I told him I was very disappointed and I didn't know what to do. I felt that our attempt to be friends wasn't working out and that really hurt me.
I didn't know how to finish that email, so I sent it to myself and watched my mailbox. A few days later, I noticed that the email had been opened. I checked and saw he had logged into my account again. I went to my account settings and I changed my password. I then went to each one of my accounts and changed the passwords. At the time, I couldn't figure out a good password, so I used how I felt at the time. My password was FUCKYOU. Each time I signed in, the password hurt a little bit, made me glad a little bit and helped me grow from that situation. I didn't talk to him for many years after that happened. Only recently have I tried to communicate with him. I'm not sure that I want to be good friends with him. I doubt that would ever happen. But I do miss the incredible sex we used to have. I wouldn't mind being a fuckbuddy. I would like that a lot but I am not sure if I should travel that road again.
