When I was single, I lived in New York City. STD clinics (which are now almost useless due to budget cuts) did not test for herpes. (Now they do not test for anything.) Anytime I asked private doctors to perform a screening for herpes, they would ask me when my last outbreak was. Um. . . Hello? Never had one, thus the testing. I was frequently told that testing could only be done if I had a blister. This is inaccurate information. Testing done at the site of an ongoing outbreak is more reliable, but by the time I would have manifested an outbreak (if I had ever contracted herpes) I could have caused the infection of dozens of people. I was always dealing with 2-6 people, and they were also promiscuous. I got a lot of shit from medical professionals when I was just trying to be responsible.
Herpes is a weird one. I have never had either type. But I think something like 20% of the population is infected, and 80% of those infected contracted the virus while their partner appeared to have no symptoms. Every time I have rejected a potential partner because they have admitted to having oral herpes, they looked at me incredulously and asked if I'd never even once had an outbreak. When I replied that I had not, they'd roll their eyes at me and say, "You know cold sores are herpes right?" Duh. They would also try to convince me that it would be okay because they were not having an outbreak, and we'd use condoms. They also suggested skipping oral and kissing. For me, it's an unnecessary, unacceptable risk. And sex without oral and kissing isn't sex I want.
These days I do not get the strange looks from doctors because I do not ask to be screened for herpes; I am married. If my husband brings me a bug, it will just have to be our bug (after I beat him :wink
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Anyway, why is herpes treated like it isn't a serious health concern? Why don't more people realize that condoms and dams may not protect you sufficiently? Why do doctors resist and sometimes even refuse to test for herpes if you have not yet had an outbreak?
Herpes is a weird one. I have never had either type. But I think something like 20% of the population is infected, and 80% of those infected contracted the virus while their partner appeared to have no symptoms. Every time I have rejected a potential partner because they have admitted to having oral herpes, they looked at me incredulously and asked if I'd never even once had an outbreak. When I replied that I had not, they'd roll their eyes at me and say, "You know cold sores are herpes right?" Duh. They would also try to convince me that it would be okay because they were not having an outbreak, and we'd use condoms. They also suggested skipping oral and kissing. For me, it's an unnecessary, unacceptable risk. And sex without oral and kissing isn't sex I want.
These days I do not get the strange looks from doctors because I do not ask to be screened for herpes; I am married. If my husband brings me a bug, it will just have to be our bug (after I beat him :wink
Anyway, why is herpes treated like it isn't a serious health concern? Why don't more people realize that condoms and dams may not protect you sufficiently? Why do doctors resist and sometimes even refuse to test for herpes if you have not yet had an outbreak?