I have a problem.

redz_rule · Jul 14, 2011

Well, I'm more than a little disappointed in your 'friends' to be honest. IMHO, their reactions are worse than the rumour itself (which they presumably have the power to nip in the bud). How are you supposed to refute it if they won't say where they heard it? If they do believe it they should have the balls to tell you why and dispense with the childish attitude. If it is upsetting you, as it obviously is, for them to take a passive aggressive 'if you say so' approach is entirely inappropriate.

I'm so sorry you are going through this - but I wouldn't lose hope in your 'real' friends stepping up. This might be a silver lining opportunity to see who is worth keeping close... and who isn't.

Hope the situation works itself out *hugs*

FRE · Jul 14, 2011

One of the problems is that the word "friend" is usually defined far too loosely. Not everyone you know, or think you know, is a friend. Until difficult circumstances arise, one cannot be sure that someone is a friend. Some people who think they have many friends actually have no friends. On the other hand, some people unexpectedly turn out to be friends.

D_Kitten_Kaboodle · Jul 14, 2011

agree with above posts MoT... you are a sweet and sassy guy here, but even in your play, I see you as an honorable gentleman. Can't for the life of me see you in any other vein. I would say just ignore it... your actions will speak for themselves and those who know you best will know who and what you truly are.

The Dragon · Jul 14, 2011

I would set them straight....and let them know how hurt you are by the rumors. Get it off your chest and it'll clear the air.
Those who will believe you continue to have friendships with.
Those who don't cut ties with.

It'll be a way of knowing who the real friends are and who you are best shot of.

ManofThunder · Jul 14, 2011

redz_rule;bt34287 said:
Well, I'm more than a little disappointed in your 'friends' to be honest. IMHO, their reactions are worse than the rumour itself (which they presumably have the power to nip in the bud). How are you supposed to refute it if they won't say where they heard it? If they do believe it they should have the balls to tell you why and dispense with the childish attitude. If it is upsetting you, as it obviously is, for them to take a passive aggressive 'if you say so' approach is entirely inappropriate.

I'm so sorry you are going through this - but I wouldn't lose hope in your 'real' friends stepping up. This might be a silver lining opportunity to see who is worth keeping close... and who isn't.

Hope the situation works itself out *hugs*

Thank you, Ms Redz. I agree. I'm more than a little disappointed in them myself. I'm trying to make the best of it, anyway. It's not getting me down. Thanks again. x

joll;bt34288 said:
Well, they can't know you that well then - I don't know anyone else on here who's so (annoyingly!) unslutty.

Don't let it get to you, I'd say. They may think it's funny and just be taking the joke way too far. See how it goes maybe, and gravitate towards people you feel comfortable with?

Take care anyway man, catch ya later.

Thank you, sweet Joll. I know I can be flirty, but I never mean any harm and I'm never (I don't think) sending 'prostitute' signals. Yes, I think I'll just have to keep waiting and see what happens. :smile: I'm certain they don't mean it as a joke though - I know them that well, at least.

FRE;bt34289 said:
One of the problems is that the word "friend" is usually defined far too loosely. Not everyone you know, or think you know, is a friend. Until difficult circumstances arise, one cannot be sure that someone is a friend. Some people who think they have many friends actually have no friends. On the other hand, some people unexpectedly turn out to be friends.

You are quite right. I still have some friends, but less than before. I'll see what happens. Thank you. :smile:

FancyPants;bt34292 said:
agree with above posts MoT... you are a sweet and sassy guy here, but even in your play, I see you as an honorable gentleman. Can't for the life of me see you in any other vein. I would say just ignore it... your actions will speak for themselves and those who know you best will know who and what you truly are.

You're a sweetie, Ms Fancy. Thank you. I'm far from perfect, but the comments are unfair. Anyway, thank you - I am doing my best to ignore it. I don't mean to make a big fuss, but it's usually better not to bottle things up.

The Dragon;bt34293 said:
I would set them straight....and let them know how hurt you are by the rumors. Get it off your chest and it'll clear the air.
Those who will believe you continue to have friendships with.
Those who don't cut ties with.

It'll be a way of knowing who the real friends are and who you are best shot of.

I've already told them how I feel, they seem to think I'm covering it up with lies. Things can only get better - I'm fine. :smile: I have seen certain people for what they are. I'm sad that I didn't notice it sooner. Thank you, lovely Dragon. x

parchissi · Jul 14, 2011

Funny isn't it - our so called "friends" can be the ones who can hurt us the most. You really need to find the arm of a real friend - hopefully there is at least one person you can trust and will stand by you no matter what - and then you will be able to day by day get back your self confidence/self esteem to be able to face no matter what adversity comes your way. You are strong - I have seen your posts before - you have many friends here in this lpsg network - believe in yourself and as some old bloke once said - "To thine ownself be true" - you do have friends here - believe in them and in yourself and you will get thru this crap - be assured. Regards.

nudeyorker · Jul 14, 2011

The same thing happened to me once. The rumors are started by people who are jealous of you. I'm sorry this is happening to you but it's a good way to weed out your real friends vs. the fair weather variety. If you keep your head high and stay true to yourself this will pass over.

ManofThunder · Jul 14, 2011

parchissi;bt34295 said:
Funny isn't it - our so called "friends" can be the ones who can hurt us the most. You really need to find the arm of a real friend - hopefully there is at least one person you can trust and will stand by you no matter what - and then you will be able to day by day get back your self confidence/self esteem to be able to face no matter what adversity comes your way. You are strong - I have seen your posts before - you have many friends here in this lpsg network - believe in yourself and as some old bloke once said - "To thine ownself be true" - you do have friends here - believe in them and in yourself and you will get thru this crap - be assured. Regards.

Thank you, that's very kind of you. :smile: I have true friends remaining, have no fear. I will remain true to myself. Thanks again for your sweetness.

nudeyorker;bt34297 said:
The same thing happened to me once. The rumors are started by people who are jealous of you. I'm sorry this is happening to you but it's a good way to weed out your real friends vs. the fair weather variety. If you keep your head high and stay true to yourself this will pass over.

Thank you, I appreciate that. It's nice to know it's happened to someone else. (If you know what I mean.

) I have discovered some true-friends already. Thanks for your input. :smile:

Ra · Jul 14, 2011

That's horrible. I can't believe your friends would think that of you. You have every right to feel hurt and angry. As parchissi said it is amazing how hurtful our "friends" can be. Time to find those who really care for you - if they really are your friends they should stand up for you.

You know the truth, and don't let their lies get to you MoT. You be strong!

ManofThunder · Jul 14, 2011

Ra1;bt34299 said:
That's horrible. I can't believe your friends would think that of you. You have every right to feel hurt and angry. As parchissi said it is amazing how hurtful our "friends" can be. Time to find those who really care for you - if they really are your friends they should stand up for you.

You know the truth, and don't let their lies get to you MoT. You be strong!

Thank you very much. I'm staying as strong as possible.

D_Rosalind Mussell · Jul 14, 2011

What they choose to believe is reflective of who they are, not who you are. I agree with Nudey, perhaps it's time to reexamine these friendships and decide which ones are worth holding on to. I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's bad enough when relative strangers are mean, it's downright hurtful when they are people you call friends. I hope this resolves soon, you don't deserve this treatment! :hug:

helgaleena · Jul 14, 2011

The ones who would believe this are not friends. If they persist, time to drop them like poison. Being fabulous is not illegal. As therapy I recommend the fantasy novels of Kim Harrison.

ArtofDesire · Jul 14, 2011

MoT I agree with all the above posts and it is therapeutic to vent sometimes. Glad to hear you're taking it in stride, which I never doubted for a second. You are a very classy man, you'll come out on top.

When negative things like this happen to me I always try to look for the lesson that I can take away from the experience, and then I remember that karma can be a real bitch to the people that did you wrong.

B_Nicodemous · Jul 15, 2011

*gets out steel-toed, cleated boots*

OK. who do I need to monkey stomp?

Seriously though, I feel for you bro. These freinds? The ones who would believe baseless rummors over you? Cut them loose. They are not worth your time or energy. You will be better off with out them.

I know, I know, easier said than done. But you will feel better after. Think of it this way: they are like a nasty, painful cyst

tongue

, and though the removal may hurt, and the healing may ache, ultimatley you will feel worlds better.

If they can't see what a wonderful person you are, then they can polietly go to hell. And don't give me that crap about how your not really that nice or special, cuz I think you are! Or how you are far from perfect! Who the fuck is? But I can tell you this, you are one of the bright spots here. You are one of the most sweet, kind, caring and sincere indivduals gracing this crazy place. If these idiots want to throw away a friendship with you, their loss, luv. Just know that your real and true friends will stand by you. Offline and here. I feel honored to be counted among them.

Just wish that there wasn't a continent and ocean seperating us, so I could give you this in person:hug: well that virtual hug will have to do.

I hurt for you, and pissed at them. Someone said they are passive aggressive. I agree. Throw jealous on top of that and you have some ugly souled individuals. And someone with as beautiful spirit as yours shouldn't hang around them and be sullied by there pettiness, spite, and negativity.

Hang in there:kiss:

B_subgirrl · Jul 15, 2011

Everything Nico said. It's your friends who have lost out by their actions, not you. You totally rock, and if they can't see that, they aren't worth it.

ManlyBanisters · Jul 15, 2011

So... how much do you charge?

I keed, I keeeeed!

You know what you are, and what you aren't. Nothing can change that. People believe what they want to believe - it may seem unfortunate and difficult now, but it will pass.

HB had a thread once 'don't explain yourself, your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it and will call you a liar' - the thread was lighthearted but the advise is sound.

D_Crystallized Ginger · Jul 15, 2011

why should a girl pay a man to have sex??? it's a joke of course mate...

babygirl4papa · Jul 15, 2011

I am sorry that this has happened to you...This year I had told some of my friends at wk that I was bisexual. And the rumors started to fly within days. Nasty rumors and uncalled for comments. Very upsetting. I learned very quickly who my true friends were. It is unfair how cruel ppl can be. It's has been 6 months since I told my so called friends and I am also surprised at who has defended me and become my new friends. So don't worry this shall pass and you will be surprised at who comes to you defense.

D_Kitten_Kaboodle · Jul 15, 2011

Muttnjeff;bt34316 said:
I am sorry that this has happened to you...This year I had told some of my friends at wk that I was bisexual. And the rumors started to fly within days. Nasty rumors and uncalled for comments. Very upsetting. I learned very quickly who my true friends were. It is unfair how cruel ppl can be. It's has been 6 months since I told my so called friends and I am also surprised at who has defended me and become my new friends. So don't worry this shall pass and you will be surprised at who comes to you defense.

One thing I like about LPSG.... got a problem and someone has experienced it. It's great to hear from people who have been there.
Thanks for sharing :smile:

ManofThunder · Jul 15, 2011

BBW36;bt34302 said:
What they choose to believe is reflective of who they are, not who you are. I agree with Nudey, perhaps it's time to reexamine these friendships and decide which ones are worth holding on to. I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's bad enough when relative strangers are mean, it's downright hurtful when they are people you call friends. I hope this resolves soon, you don't deserve this treatment! :hug:

I think you're right. Thank you for being so sweet. :smile: x

helgaleena;bt34304 said:
The ones who would believe this are not friends. If they persist, time to drop them like poison. Being fabulous is not illegal. As therapy I recommend the fantasy novels of Kim Harrison.

Poison is a good word. Some of them have shown themselves to be just that. Haha, thank you. I like the sound of your therapy. Who needs a therapist? :tongue: (I've just noticed that 'therapist' is actually 'the rapist'. Awkward.

)

ArtofDesire;bt34305 said:
MoT I agree with all the above posts and it is therapeutic to vent sometimes. Glad to hear you're taking it in stride, which I never doubted for a second. You are a very classy man, you'll come out on top.

When negative things like this happen to me I always try to look for the lesson that I can take away from the experience, and then I remember that karma can be a real bitch to the people that did you wrong.

You're all far too kind, I'm really nothing special. Thank you for your input. :smile:

nicodemous76;bt34307 said:
*gets out steel-toed, cleated boots*

OK. who do I need to monkey stomp?

Seriously though, I feel for you bro. These freinds? The ones who would believe baseless rummors over you? Cut them loose. They are not worth your time or energy. You will be better off with out them.

I know, I know, easier said than done. But you will feel better after. Think of it this way: they are like a nasty, painful cysttongue, and though the removal may hurt, and the healing may ache, ultimatley you will feel worlds better.

If they can't see what a wonderful person you are, then they can polietly go to hell. And don't give me that crap about how your not really that nice or special, cuz I think you are! Or how you are far from perfect! Who the fuck is? But I can tell you this, you are one of the bright spots here. You are one of the most sweet, kind, caring and sincere indivduals gracing this crazy place. If these idiots want to throw away a friendship with you, their loss, luv. Just know that your real and true friends will stand by you. Offline and here. I feel honored to be counted among them.

Just wish that there wasn't a continent and ocean seperating us, so I could give you this in person:hug: well that virtual hug will have to do.

I hurt for you, and pissed at them. Someone said they are passive aggressive. I agree. Throw jealous on top of that and you have some ugly souled individuals. And someone with as beautiful spirit as yours shouldn't hang around them and be sullied by there pettiness, spite, and negativity.

Hang in there:kiss:

You are making me blush, Nico. :redface: I'm not as special as you think, but it's lovely to know I have a friend like you. Your words are a great comfort. Thank you. :smile: x

subgirrl;bt34308 said:
Everything Nico said. It's your friends who have lost out by their actions, not you. You totally rock, and if they can't see that, they aren't worth it.

I rock myself to sleep, is that what you mean? :tongue: Thank you, my lovely. x

ManlyBanisters;bt34311 said:
So... how much do you charge?

I keed, I keeeeed!

You know what you are, and what you aren't. Nothing can change that. People believe what they want to believe - it may seem unfortunate and difficult now, but it will pass.

HB had a thread once 'don't explain yourself, your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it and will call you a liar' - the thread was lighthearted but the advise is sound.

My rates are very competitive. Only a few thousand pounds an hour. I'm a bargain! Thank you for the lovely comment. There was always wisdom behind a "Fuck you" from HB. Sometimes it was the greatest comfort in the middle of a thread. I do miss him, even though I hardly knew him. Anyway, thanks again, sweetness. :smile:

Mystic Wolf;bt34313 said:
why should a girl pay a man to have sex??? it's a joke of course mate...

Thank you for that.

Muttnjeff;bt34316 said:
I am sorry that this has happened to you...This year I had told some of my friends at wk that I was bisexual. And the rumors started to fly within days. Nasty rumors and uncalled for comments. Very upsetting. I learned very quickly who my true friends were. It is unfair how cruel ppl can be. It's has been 6 months since I told my so called friends and I am also surprised at who has defended me and become my new friends. So don't worry this shall pass and you will be surprised at who comes to you defense.

Thank you very much! Thanks for sharing that with us. I'm happy to hear you found peace in the end.

FancyPants;bt34317 said:
One thing I like about LPSG.... got a problem and someone has experienced it. It's great to hear from people who have been there.
Thanks for sharing :smile:

I agree.

I have a problem.

Comments

redz_rule

FRE

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

The Dragon

ManofThunder

parchissi

nudeyorker

ManofThunder

Ra

ManofThunder

D_Rosalind Mussell

helgaleena

ArtofDesire

B_Nicodemous

B_subgirrl

ManlyBanisters

D_Crystallized Ginger

babygirl4papa

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

ManofThunder

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