18 months ago I had the surgery that gave me breasts, castrated me, and converted my male genitals into female genitalia. I'm reposting my story for those who may be interested in it.
I've wanted to have breasts ever since I can remember, and when I was in my late teens and early twenties (when I used to model), I'd go to clubs in drag and pad my chest all the time. I'd been seriously thinking about getting implants since I first saw the pictures of the South African man known as "intshintshile" or "manybodiedman" on BME (and later his partner) with their breast implants. I had spoken to a few surgeons about it but hadn't followed up for various reasons. Since I started being sexually active I was always turned on when guy told me they wanted to fuck my pussy, and I always fantasized that I had a pussy. However, I didn't really accept that it wasn't just a fantasy but that I needed to have a vagina and had to have surgery until 2009. I never "hated" my penis, I just never really wanted to have it. I was scared of the idea at first, not because of the risks/results of surgery, but because I was afraid that gay men would have no interest in me without a penis. But my New Year's resolution for that year was to seriously pursue the route towards getting breast implants and SRS, and I knew that would involve transitioning. I didn't see myself as female, have never wanted to be a "woman" — I just wanted to have breasts and have a vagina in place of a cock and balls.
Now, Florida, where I live, as you may know, is the she-male capital of America. Having befriended a lot of T-girls, it was easy to learn which therapists and doctors to seek out and what to say. I had decided to go on estrogen, partly to have breast development so that I could have larger implants with the first surgery, but also because it would convince therapists/doctors that I was a "real" transsexual and get permission to have SRS here. (I was leery about having surgery in Thailand.)
I found a gender therapist in Tampa, about an hour and a half from where I live, and convinced him that I was truly an MTF — I choose to have estrogen pellets implanted in me starting August 2010 (like Norplant) because they were injected I would be on female hormones for several months without being able to change my mind. I dressed like a woman to see him (the rest of the time I lived completely male), and had full body waxings on a regular basis, rather than electrolysis, since I wanted my body hair back one day. My real first name is Andrea (which is a man's name in Italian, like Andrea Bocelli), but I've always used Tom (from Tomasso, my middle name) because in the US people think you're a woman named ANN-drea. I told him that I'd legally changed my named to Andrea because I could stand having a man's name, and he believed me. I was prescribed anti-androgens but never took them. During all this time I wore increasingly larger breast forms so that people would get used to my increasingly increasing chest. My face didn't really feminize that much, but I was never square-jawed to begin with. My body feminized moderately, but I did have C-cups and a very prominent butt after 2 years. My balls had shriveled up to the size of blueberries but I could still get hard, slowly.
Finally, in January 2012 I received my letter of permission for SRS, saw a surgeon in Miami for a consultation, and at last got an appointment to undergo both breast augmentation AND SRS. On May 21, 2012, during 6 hours of surgery, I was castrated, my penis was inverted to form a vagina, and scrotum was refashioned into labia. I also received 600 cc saline breast implants,which were overfilled to 775 cc, making me a DD cup. It took almost two month recover from the SRS — less from the BA — and I think if i had to do it again, would have had the implants dome much earlier — it was a LOT of surgery to have done at one time.
At the end of July when I was pretty fully healed and my breasts had "dropped down," I saw my therapist and told him I want to go back to living as a man (this was the first time he hadn't seen me dressed as a woman.) He was surprised (especially when I said I was thrilled with the results of the surgery and didn't want to redo any of it), but eventually let me go on testosterone at the beginning of August after having no male hormones in my body for 3 months (which made my breasts grow more) and that led to my 1st post-op sex a few weeks later -- an incredible experience. The bi musician from SF who fucked me said that if he hadn't been told, he would have thought I'd been born with a pussy, because it looked and felt so real. I don't regret my surgery at all -- I wish I could have done it 10 years ago.
So now it's a full year after surgery, and still no regrets. Most of the time, I barely recall that I used to have a penis. What I do notice is that I feel more like a man and more confident as a man now that I have a vagina. I am conscious of my breasts, as they are on view all the time., but it's a good consciousness. Finally I am truly happy in my life and body.
I've wanted to have breasts ever since I can remember, and when I was in my late teens and early twenties (when I used to model), I'd go to clubs in drag and pad my chest all the time. I'd been seriously thinking about getting implants since I first saw the pictures of the South African man known as "intshintshile" or "manybodiedman" on BME (and later his partner) with their breast implants. I had spoken to a few surgeons about it but hadn't followed up for various reasons. Since I started being sexually active I was always turned on when guy told me they wanted to fuck my pussy, and I always fantasized that I had a pussy. However, I didn't really accept that it wasn't just a fantasy but that I needed to have a vagina and had to have surgery until 2009. I never "hated" my penis, I just never really wanted to have it. I was scared of the idea at first, not because of the risks/results of surgery, but because I was afraid that gay men would have no interest in me without a penis. But my New Year's resolution for that year was to seriously pursue the route towards getting breast implants and SRS, and I knew that would involve transitioning. I didn't see myself as female, have never wanted to be a "woman" — I just wanted to have breasts and have a vagina in place of a cock and balls.
Now, Florida, where I live, as you may know, is the she-male capital of America. Having befriended a lot of T-girls, it was easy to learn which therapists and doctors to seek out and what to say. I had decided to go on estrogen, partly to have breast development so that I could have larger implants with the first surgery, but also because it would convince therapists/doctors that I was a "real" transsexual and get permission to have SRS here. (I was leery about having surgery in Thailand.)
I found a gender therapist in Tampa, about an hour and a half from where I live, and convinced him that I was truly an MTF — I choose to have estrogen pellets implanted in me starting August 2010 (like Norplant) because they were injected I would be on female hormones for several months without being able to change my mind. I dressed like a woman to see him (the rest of the time I lived completely male), and had full body waxings on a regular basis, rather than electrolysis, since I wanted my body hair back one day. My real first name is Andrea (which is a man's name in Italian, like Andrea Bocelli), but I've always used Tom (from Tomasso, my middle name) because in the US people think you're a woman named ANN-drea. I told him that I'd legally changed my named to Andrea because I could stand having a man's name, and he believed me. I was prescribed anti-androgens but never took them. During all this time I wore increasingly larger breast forms so that people would get used to my increasingly increasing chest. My face didn't really feminize that much, but I was never square-jawed to begin with. My body feminized moderately, but I did have C-cups and a very prominent butt after 2 years. My balls had shriveled up to the size of blueberries but I could still get hard, slowly.
Finally, in January 2012 I received my letter of permission for SRS, saw a surgeon in Miami for a consultation, and at last got an appointment to undergo both breast augmentation AND SRS. On May 21, 2012, during 6 hours of surgery, I was castrated, my penis was inverted to form a vagina, and scrotum was refashioned into labia. I also received 600 cc saline breast implants,which were overfilled to 775 cc, making me a DD cup. It took almost two month recover from the SRS — less from the BA — and I think if i had to do it again, would have had the implants dome much earlier — it was a LOT of surgery to have done at one time.
At the end of July when I was pretty fully healed and my breasts had "dropped down," I saw my therapist and told him I want to go back to living as a man (this was the first time he hadn't seen me dressed as a woman.) He was surprised (especially when I said I was thrilled with the results of the surgery and didn't want to redo any of it), but eventually let me go on testosterone at the beginning of August after having no male hormones in my body for 3 months (which made my breasts grow more) and that led to my 1st post-op sex a few weeks later -- an incredible experience. The bi musician from SF who fucked me said that if he hadn't been told, he would have thought I'd been born with a pussy, because it looked and felt so real. I don't regret my surgery at all -- I wish I could have done it 10 years ago.
So now it's a full year after surgery, and still no regrets. Most of the time, I barely recall that I used to have a penis. What I do notice is that I feel more like a man and more confident as a man now that I have a vagina. I am conscious of my breasts, as they are on view all the time., but it's a good consciousness. Finally I am truly happy in my life and body.
