Growing up in a gay hating family...

I understand how you feel. I had a wonderful boyfriend who I had to give up because his dad was totally verbally abusive to his son. His voice was used like Ike's fist to Tina Turner's mouf. It was really degrading to hear his 50 year old father yell at his 24 year old son like that. :frown1:

Have you ever considered that your father may never change? So you be the person you were meant to be. And let your father be the person he is.

Daddy's little girl.. isn't a girl at all... I'm a gay man trapped in a body that people adore.. ugh.

The only thing I can tell you is that your Father's attitude is based on opinions formed based on his life experience. It can also be formed by opinions based on a religious belief system instilled by some person in his life who/whom he cared about or respected.

Guilt by association in this particular case is a "byproduct" of lack of education and a belief on old tired fables tacked on to the gay community by those who have something to gain by making a "homophobic show".

A example of this nonsense was when the "late" Jerry Falwell, founder of one of the most homophobic ministries in history opened his mouth regarding a character on a children's television show designed for children under 4 years old! The main stated that character "Tinkie-Winkie" was gay and "promoting homossexuality" because he was purple in color and had an antenna on his head shaped like an inverted triangle. His logic was that purple was a "gay" color and that all 4-year-olds understood that a rather vocal gay organization adopted the inverted pink triangle. This was an advertisement by "militant homosexuals". If that idiot Falwell had bothered to do ANY research he would have found that the organization in question had adopted this from the symbol that the Nazi's used to "mark" gay people before sending them to the ovens with those of Jewish ancestry. He conveniently left that one out.

When you are dealing with homophobia the best thing you can do is to lead your life, YOU choose YOUR friends, and YOU set an example to be proud of for the generations to follow you. The question is not whether any individual is of a given sexual orientation, it is what we as people leave behind for the following generations to make this world a BETTER place.

The situation in the Middle East is living proof that hatred based on any given "belief system" is not an answer and only adds to the problem.

Just keep your social life away from Mom and Pop letting them believe whaqt they want while you set up and adopt the values system that works for YOU. You are the important one.

Thanks Ken

Lots of people of that generation are like that, Homophobes, I know it's hard when it's your family, but you have to live your life as you please. I assume your young and still live at home? The second degree thing kind of comes with the territory in that situation. I would advise telling them what they want to hear,for now. I saw my cousin do this when he lived at home, we all knew he was gay, but he really didn't come out of the closet until he was 30. Eventually you will be able to figure things out, and you will be who you are, your father won't like it-so be ready, I really hope your mother is supportive of you, I have 3 sons, and to me, if one of them is Gay, it's not the end of the world, I would still love them, your child is your child!
to me, the worst thing in the world, is that they have a horrible disease and are going to die from it!

people like your dad need to get with the times and accept that homosexuality is common and totally normal. it sounds like your dad is a very old skool homophobe and totally prejudice against gays if he's bashing on you and the crowd you hang with. whatever he says to you about not finding anyone to share you life with, do not let it get to you. just ignore it. you have your entire life to meet someone that'll sweep you off your feet, whether that person is a man or a woman. besides, it's not like your gay friends only associate with other gays. your circle of friends has no impact on how you may meet a person with potential relationship interest.

Its painful to have loved ones bashing your friends and life choices and such. I didn't suffer much of that at all, thank goodness, but I had friends who did and I saw how torn and unhappy it left them. Here's hoping things improve between you and your dad, TK.

my father was the same,but i decided to make a hard decision---i said to myself ;i wouldnt accept that behaviour from my friends so why should i accept it from my family. the result is that i now have a group of friends who are closer than any family

I understand your anger and hurt TK.

My parents are assholes in this regard. I was raised to believe the white race is superior and all "fags" should be put on an island and shot. I bucked that when I was young, and still do. My brother though sucked it up hook, line and sinker so he's a bigot too.

I've actually really been doing some soul searching about this. Last week I got together with her and she said some shitty and ignorant things about some people on TV (we were watching Ellen).

I had to leave early because the rage I felt was making my stomach hurt. At my age, I know they will never change, I just need to find a way to let all that shit roll off me like water off a duck's back.
I hope you can find a way to do this too TK, my sweetie.

Don't put up with it. If your family puts you down for being gay, if you have homophobic friends, get away from them. You can start over and you don't have to have anyone's approval to be who you are.

STOP THE HATE, STARTING WITH THOSE AROUND YOU.