Sweet Wind. A Poem I just finished.

~Sweet Wind~


Sweet wind’s that ruffle through the night,

Take my soul into flight.

Caress my weary, broken shell,

Guide my soul out from hell.

Through the dew strewn field’s of hay,

Take my soul to a place to lay.

Out of pain my heart dose weep,

For my soul the wind to keep.

Peaceful silence fills my mind,

Angles, I pray my soul to find.

In the dew strewn field I lay,

Waiting for my judgment day.

Finally, I do awake,

Only now beside a lake.

Water crisp, clean and cool,

To drink until, you feel full.

My soul begins to feel at home,

This is the place I feel I’ve known.

My soul fill’s with joy, hope and pride,

I have no reason, to run and hide.

This is the place, we all dream of,

This is a place, of peace, hope and love.




So yeah, I just finished this poem. No I'm not joking or lieing, I wrote this my self. Tell me your honest thought's.​

Comments

Very pleasing. Genuine & authentic emotions. Good job! :redface:

Congratulations!

Needs editing for punctuation, as tucsonguy has suggested. The last word in line 6 is incorrect grammar :mad:(although one realizes that you needed it to make the rhyme). You're wanting here the intransitive verb lie (lie, lay, lain), not the transitive verb lay (lay, laid, laid). Nowadays 99.44%~~yes, I know: pure Ivory soap it floats~~ of Americans make the same mistake. Colloquial, but still not standard English.
 
Oh I know I need to go back and fix it. We have this "poem writer" thing on the computer and no matter what you do when you start typing it dose this to them. I only fix them if I want to print them and that is like never. So I'm not to concerned about it.
But thank you for the tips.
 

Blog entry information

Author
BirdinMo
Read time
1 min read
Views
130
Comments
3
Last update

More entries in General

More entries from BirdinMo

  • Graduation
    So tonight was high school graduation, should of been my year but...
  • 2 for 2
    So the last 2 days I have met up with a few friends at our neighbors...
  • Car wreck
    I'm kinda pissed off tonight so am blogging. I was out with a friend...
  • What did you learn today?
    Well today I learned not to make a gun shape out of your fingers and...
  • Religion Recruiters
    I hate it when recruiters from different religions come to your house...

Share this entry