Wasn't sure how to title this blog to best describe exactly what's going to be said here. In 2 days, my boyfriend and I will have been together for 3 months. Since meeting him, some really odd changes have taken place within me, and I'm pretty sure a lot of it is hormonal but I'm not really sure. I guess that's why I'm posting this, to bounce thoughts and ideas off other people.
Let me start by saying that, for years now, I've had really crazy menstrual issues. My periods have been completely irregular, very heavy, and last way longer than average period. (I once had a period last two months.) They've always been painful and (skip this next line if you are easily grossed out) involved a lot of clotting.
This has all changed since meeting Drew. My periods have been kinda crampy the first day or two and then no pain, lasted no more than 6 days and have been a regular flow with almost no clotting. I had one irregular period that came two weeks after a period had ended, but even it was a breeze. Aside from that one "off" period, my periods have started on almost the exact same days each month. It's incredibly strange to me. Is it coincidence that it happened when I fell in love with Drew? Are there other changes happening in my body that caused my menstrual cycle to normalize after years of abnormality? Is it hormonal? Why is this happening all of a sudden?
Then the other thing. For years, I've been suffering from really bad anxiety. My anxiety is all based on a "comfort zone" basis. If I leave my comfort zone (which exists as a physical space) then I get severe anxiety attacks that are unbearable and I physically feel like I'm going to die (unable to breathe, cold sweats, racing heart, vertigo) until I get back into my comfort zone. There's certain parts of town I haven't been to in years because I just can't physically go there.
Then I met Drew... I haven't had a single anxiety attack since we've met. I've been leaving my comfort zone with some regularity (not by terribly far, but far enough...) and have had zero issues. Just today, we went to a shoe store near my house to get him some new shoes. They had an awesome pair he really wanted but not in his size. Another store in the metro had them. A store outside my comfort zone. He asked if I minded driving him out there to get him and I responded with, "Of course we can baby." even though my brain was thinking, "What the fuck - how are we going to do this." We got in the car and drove there - the only nervousness I had was waiting for an anxiety attack that never came. I felt completely 100% comfortable there. Wandered around the store, looked at things, sat in the car for a bit while he got his new shoes all laced up 'n stuff. Just complete normalcy. This is another thing I don't understand. Had I tried to do that six months ago, I would have freaked out and turned the car around. I just did it with zero issue. This is fucking HUGE. I drove 2 miles out of my comfort zone and NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED. I can go back there now. I can shop at the 9 million other stores at that intersection. I can go to movies at the movie theater. The possibilities are (seemingly) endless to me.
Not to make a nerdy gamer reference, but I'm going to anyway... the way I'm viewing this right now is sorta like playing World of Warcraft, or any other games that have in-game maps that you have to discover/uncover. I feel like I just ventured into unknown territory and uncovered a big section of the map.
*sigh*
I'm certainly not complaining about these changes as they are beautiful, much-wanted/needed welcome changes. I just don't understand why they are happening. And I fear what will happen...
Wow. My boyfriend just walked into the room and told me he pooped green. That was an odd interruption to my train of thought. Lol.
Anyway. I fear what will happen if he and I ever break up. Will things go back to the way they were before? Will I be able to maintain this normal uterine behavior and lack of anxiety?
I guess I just don't know what to think of all this. Maybe he's not the reason at all. Maybe it's from going to the gym (which I started doing about a month and a half before he and I met) and losing some weight. Thoughts? Ideas?
Let me start by saying that, for years now, I've had really crazy menstrual issues. My periods have been completely irregular, very heavy, and last way longer than average period. (I once had a period last two months.) They've always been painful and (skip this next line if you are easily grossed out) involved a lot of clotting.
This has all changed since meeting Drew. My periods have been kinda crampy the first day or two and then no pain, lasted no more than 6 days and have been a regular flow with almost no clotting. I had one irregular period that came two weeks after a period had ended, but even it was a breeze. Aside from that one "off" period, my periods have started on almost the exact same days each month. It's incredibly strange to me. Is it coincidence that it happened when I fell in love with Drew? Are there other changes happening in my body that caused my menstrual cycle to normalize after years of abnormality? Is it hormonal? Why is this happening all of a sudden?
Then the other thing. For years, I've been suffering from really bad anxiety. My anxiety is all based on a "comfort zone" basis. If I leave my comfort zone (which exists as a physical space) then I get severe anxiety attacks that are unbearable and I physically feel like I'm going to die (unable to breathe, cold sweats, racing heart, vertigo) until I get back into my comfort zone. There's certain parts of town I haven't been to in years because I just can't physically go there.
Then I met Drew... I haven't had a single anxiety attack since we've met. I've been leaving my comfort zone with some regularity (not by terribly far, but far enough...) and have had zero issues. Just today, we went to a shoe store near my house to get him some new shoes. They had an awesome pair he really wanted but not in his size. Another store in the metro had them. A store outside my comfort zone. He asked if I minded driving him out there to get him and I responded with, "Of course we can baby." even though my brain was thinking, "What the fuck - how are we going to do this." We got in the car and drove there - the only nervousness I had was waiting for an anxiety attack that never came. I felt completely 100% comfortable there. Wandered around the store, looked at things, sat in the car for a bit while he got his new shoes all laced up 'n stuff. Just complete normalcy. This is another thing I don't understand. Had I tried to do that six months ago, I would have freaked out and turned the car around. I just did it with zero issue. This is fucking HUGE. I drove 2 miles out of my comfort zone and NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED. I can go back there now. I can shop at the 9 million other stores at that intersection. I can go to movies at the movie theater. The possibilities are (seemingly) endless to me.
Not to make a nerdy gamer reference, but I'm going to anyway... the way I'm viewing this right now is sorta like playing World of Warcraft, or any other games that have in-game maps that you have to discover/uncover. I feel like I just ventured into unknown territory and uncovered a big section of the map.
*sigh*
I'm certainly not complaining about these changes as they are beautiful, much-wanted/needed welcome changes. I just don't understand why they are happening. And I fear what will happen...
Wow. My boyfriend just walked into the room and told me he pooped green. That was an odd interruption to my train of thought. Lol.
Anyway. I fear what will happen if he and I ever break up. Will things go back to the way they were before? Will I be able to maintain this normal uterine behavior and lack of anxiety?
I guess I just don't know what to think of all this. Maybe he's not the reason at all. Maybe it's from going to the gym (which I started doing about a month and a half before he and I met) and losing some weight. Thoughts? Ideas?