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Men and Sex

It's been almost a year since I wrote my last blog. In this past year almost nothing has changed. Well, almost nothing.

I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!!!
I'm so excited about what the future will bring.

Everything else just about stayed the same. I'm still having sex with the same guy that I was a year ago. My problem: i'm emotionally attached to him and he doesn't seem to mind being that he gets to have alot of raw sex with me. I know I should cut all ties off with him but the sex is REALLY good and the more we have sex the more attached I become. We're in a relationship but he has already made his intentions clear about the fact that he plans on breaking up with me in the 2nd week of January. I'm in a big panic because I know it's coming and he constantly repeats of how he has no feelings for me. Worse, he doesn't want to see me at all before the breakup.

Besides that, I think I love him. I'm not sure what I feel at this point. At one time he said that if he moved on and got married he wouldn't mind being my "sperm donor" if I still wanted a part of him.

Can somebody with ANY wisdom tell me how I can keep him and get him to change for the better?

Comments

D
Congrats on graduating from college!

You can't change him. You won't keep him and you shouldn't try. He's just using you for a piece of ass. He will never love you and if he does get you pregnant he will not pay for or help take care of the baby.

I'm not trying to be a bitch and I am not trying to hurt you. I'm just a little older than you and have already been there done that got the t-shirt.
 
EboniGoddess
I kinda had the same feeling but i'm such an optimist. I've broken up with him before but after a month of no sex its hard to not go back. Nothing beats the real thing (not even my vibrator).
 
oceanskinflute
Well, going on that information, I don't think you can keep or change him. And for him to give an advance date for splitting up : that's just bizarre!

You should immediately stop having sex with him, put some distance between the two of you and make yourself mostly unavailable. True, this will probably achieve nothing other than to confirm he doesn't care much about you anyway, but it will increase your self-esteem and give you more control. You already know what you want: now you have to realistically decide if he offers it and if he doesn't - move on, don't look back.

Blimey. You need a nice hug and a good talking-to!
 
Z
Ho man, why do girls fall for guys like this? And it's such a common story too. Guys think women will never change, and women EXPECT their guys will change. This doesn't happen to anyone. Women HAVE to change, and guys fight most of their lives staving off change. They also end up resenting women that try to change them.

Rommette, you gave away the store, which is the LAST thing you're supposed to do. There are plenty of DECENT men out there. Dump this shmuck, ASAP, and find a nerd with a job; preferably one a couple of years younger than you are. You should experience someone who will be grateful to have you. Since you've just graduated you'll probably have to wait awhile; start a new career, get a nice apartment, and uh, put it away for awhile. You'll live, trust me.
 
D_Rosalind Mussell
You can't change people, plain and simple. To be honest, I find his blatant disregard for you quite appalling. Also, do you think it's possible you are more in lust? You talked about the great sex, but not the great relationship. I agree with everyone here, move on and let this guy go. And his offer to be a "sperm donor"? Let's just say it wasn't a selfless offer on his part. I sincerely hope you take that college brain of yours and find a like-minded man that wants only you. Don't confuse physical chemistry with love because they are two entirely different beasts. Best of luck to you!
 
D
A preemptive 'break-up' and he doesn't love you. I do think it's time the dump truck came and took him away. Why invest more of yourself in this person who doesn't care?
 
MoneyForNothing
People here try to tell you what to want and what to do. I'm just going to look at it realistically and unbiased. Resolving to do something at some future date means conflicting interest. He isn't going to stop wanting your body on January 14. It's almost guaranteed that there is something significant that he dislikes about you and at the same time likes sex with you more than with others.
 
D
Congrats on your successes. Hope things have changed for the better.
 
D
Hey... don't worry... you are a nice smart woman... sexy and hot too! You don't will have problems to find someone new. He is stupid If he really leaves You! Wish You all best.
 

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EboniGoddess
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