Oh gods...

So.....I go over to my moms for a family thing....bout 8 minutes into it, I can't take no Mo....I go to the store(translation. I drive around and hit the bowl a few times)......I get back and I throw on some ps1 jet moto, start kicking my cop brothers ass......we play for about 30 minutes, and I feel a burp coming on, it feels like a good one too, the kind of burp that starts just about even with you pelvic bone...the kind of burp that you have to share with everybody. Anyways, I digress...I let out a solid 8 burp, borderline low 9ish, and along with it comes out this big Fucking cloud of weed smoke (wtf, it was 30 minutes ago), everybody freezes, I don't smoke at all, just weed, which nobody in my family knows, unless they are members of this room, which seriously doubt, I'm the only person in my family with a smart phone, again I digress...I'm like fuuuuck, wtf wtf..... jump up, yell "spontaneous combustion", run in the kitchen, drink a couple glasses of water, go back in the living room. My sister in law is a paramedic...she runs out to the car and gets her trauma bag, starts trying to take my pulse and shit....my mom is like bringing me glasses of shit to drink to "put out the fire"....my wife is completely pissed off cause I told her I quit smoking weed....thanks weed gods, you fucked me again.

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