On Becoming A Man

There's a reason you are one of the most respected posters here. I rarely read a post and have to go of a think about myself on here, unless im in an argument with someone in the politics forum.

My shower is going to be different from how i envisiged now.

A brilliently written piece.

This is a profound and very self-aware answer.

I suspect, by your kind of definition, many people don't become "men" or "women" until their thirties or later.

I have experienced several situations in my life that matured me, but two stand out above the others -- my mother's protracted and ultimately fatal cancer when I was a kid, and the realities of having married the wrong man at twenty-one and knowing it less than a year later, but taking another thirteen years to be able to let go.

I think I became a woman sometime during that fourteen-year marriage, although sometimes I feel like I'm not a woman yet, even now.

Thanks, Lems. I hate wasting grade-A stuff in shitty threads and might start doing this more often.

My other LPSG blog posts are material I cut and pasted from The Spin Cycle, my personal (off site) blog. The link's in my signature.

The cliché, B_D, is that life's a journey, not a destination. There are many ways that I retain a boyish enthusiasm and cling to the few shreds of optimism (as opposed to succumbing to bitterness) that I can, despite the steady creep of cynicism that is kind of inevitable after a certain age. I am still capable of rampant irresponsibility, still treat life as an adventure in hedonism and am still occasionally self-destructive, but I've grown to embrace those qualities as what makes me me.

I can't agree more with you. I wondered the same with the thread. becoming a man is so much more than losing your virginity.

I started to become aman around 4 years ago, but won't explain here because it says too much about my life.
But becoming a man is a proces for a lifetime. And tbh, what is 'becoming a man' exactly...

Good post.

At least from my perspective, becoming a man means an ability to make and keep commitments, especially those that didn't quite work out as first planned. It's the recognition that follow-up on important matters is essential if you want to see them go they way you'd like. It's the ability to be completely self-reliant and, conversely, knowing when and from whom to ask for help when you need it.

Being a man means not just learning from one's mistakes, but actually changing thoughts/patterns of behavior so that you don't make that same mistake over and over again. Being a man is knowing when and what to compromise and when not to. Being a man is putting the interest of your loved ones ahead of your own, even when it hurts.

Being a man is surviving a walk through the fire with your mind, spirit and dignity intact, being aware of how it happened and why but not letting yourself succumb to bitterness. Being a man involves making educated and informed risks without fear of failure.

I sense, Bbucko, that some might say you're describing a Mensch. A very good description.

by your standards, and mine as well, i'm still a boy at 22-years old. however, i'm growing everyday. i look forward to manhood.

You make a valid point. Becoming a man isn't about sex, money, or even physical maturity, it's about how mature you are psychologically. I admit I'm still a boy, at 22 years old, and will probably be one for another twenty years if I don't meet someone special. The problem is, with maturity, that some men never WILL mature. It's a fact of human nature that most males will always act childish.

One becomes a man when one steps over a puddle of rainwater, rather than jumping in it..