Regrets and horny stuff

Regrets Ah geeze, what a topic! But I like to write. A woman once told me “you need to be heard”. Am I a narcissist? I don’t think so. I just love to write, communicate, through stuff out there and see what others may have to say about it. One thing I really dislike about getting older, and presumably wiser, is the realization of past stupidity, missed opportunities and being tremendously naive. I look at my past and see an apocalyptic landscape of “DUH!” I was 17, she was 15, my first real girlfriend! Pretty, blonde, hot body. Lots of kissing, then one day lifting her shirt and bra to reveal lovely firm breasts and pretty nipples. Eventually, making out on the couch, rubbing my bare cock on her tummy, her shorts on, top pulled up for boob access. Blowing my load all over her tummy, such youthful exuberance! Her fondling my cock under a discreetly placed jacket in the back of the car, mom and dad in front, on a nighttime drive back from the cottage. Many handjobs and boobplay at the cottage. Lots of time alone we could have gone further, but we didn’t. Eventually stuffing my hand down her shorts, playing with her pussy, although I hadn’t the slightist clue what I was doing. Perhaps I should have checked in with my friends who were getting laid regularly and knew the score way better than me. She suggested we go to her sister’s house one evening, as her sister was away. I got a handjob. That was it. I look back at the missed opportunity to get laid, and want to smack myself so hard. I look at all the hints she dropped that she wanted to do it during our 6 months together. I was being a gentleman, not wanting to rush her into sex, which was apparently what she wanted as she dumped me and started fucking my friend. Sigh. To this day I have never fucked a virgin. Although it’s no big deal to me, I prefer women who are experienced. Second girlfriend, very cute little Portuguese girl, loved me to death and loved to show it, oh yes, I finally came to my senses and got laid. We did it everywhere at every opportunity. A field, various beds including her aunt’s bed and the bed of the people she babysat for. Whoever bought my old Duster must have had to hose all the cum stains out of the back seat and wash her footprints off the side windows. Although she didn’t give head, wouldn’t even put my cock in her mouth, she definitely loved to have me inside her and loved to jerk me off. So of course I dumped her. Why? No reason, just did. Cute, loved me, loved to fuck. Who would want a girlfriend like that? Spent 2 years with a woman who was....well....twisted. Smoked pot non stop, wanted to fuck non stop, insatiable, probably borderline personality disorder, wont go further than to say it was 2 years of insanity. She lied constantly, cheated on me constantly. She was bi-sexual with a fetish for lactation. She was the first one who I fucked anally, at her suggestion. She told me stories of all the guys she had fucked, the 3somes. So what’s a guy to do? Try to make the relationship work apparently. Never mind it could have been 2 years of insane, deviant, twisted sex, I was pissed off and wound up that the relationship sucked. Sigh. I must say though, that for such a horny woman, all she wanted was cock in her, pussy or ass. She rarely sucked me, never swallowed, no cum play. Although I imagine, had I been smart enough to suggest it, she would most likely have enjoyed piss play, fucking on cam and taking sexy pictures. There were several nice, attractive ladies who I basically treated like fuck dolls. No dating, discussion, friendship, just sex. I regret that. I have learned that the sex is so much better when you are not only sex partners, but also friends who do non-sexual stuff together, dinners out, camping, movie nights at home, all that boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. Liking and caring about a person makes you want to please them, which leads to great sex. An anonymous fuck for the sake of fucking can be fun, satisfaction, pressure release. But you can’t beat an ongoing friendship for communication, building of trust, understanding your partners needs and desires and fantasies, where and how she likes to be touched, what makes her cum hard. But if some hot stranger at the mall came up to me and suggested we go out back and fuck up against the wall..... I wouldn’t say “no”. I’m such a hypocrite cum_blaster@yahoo.com