Thank you for the good wishes, it means a lot to me. It helps to know I am well thought of by others even when I am having difficulty finding it in myself. I just wanna grab you all into a big "group hug" LOL
I didn't have a real positive, supportive childhood. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and I've grown into a perfectionist who never finds anything I do good enough, either. But I never place such limitations on others. Go figure.
So yeah, its hard to believe I can be loved as Paul swears he loves me.. just as I am..he's never critical, or judgemental. And thats exactly what I have searched for all my life!! I believe in acceptance of others rather than judging, or trying to change them into what our belief is they could or should be. Yet here, when that's exactly what he gives me, I am so awestruck, certain surely some 'bomb will drop', and he'll find all the flaws I find in me?
Yet I am aware of my qualities, as well, and know those too are part of who I am. I find it easy to admire these same traits of kindness, compassion, and loyalty in others. I am learning others find them admirable in me.
Bliss, you have long been a woman I respect and admire, even when you were a man!! and you are right, I have every reason to be happy, and I am blessed with what I have. Years of conditioning, will melt in time. :kiss:
biguy, thank you for letting me know I am not the only one, at least I'm not crazy!
and yeah, the 'not being fully aware of it' comment makes so much sense. sometimes Paul looks at me like, "wow, how can you not know how I feel every time I look at you?"
I've no intention of letting him go, nor he, me; he has stated. And my best to you and your mrs as well. Some of us have spent so long hearing we arent good enough, it takes a long time learning truly, we are even better. :hug:
nj my sister, you are like a solid piece of sense to me and I am so glad you are here with your strong voice, and you share and you never waver in your honesty and values.Even if I don't often get time for posting, I try to keep up with everyone, reading the forum when I can, and Paul always lets me know of any 'major, erm, 'turnovers'? lol
bridezilla? roflmao at that. we are going to the courthouse. I am no big wedding kind of girl, we want low key and just no more than to be thankful for finding each other- and LPSG for actually being the conduit!
I love you too Big O- your life and and your ups and downs and your ability to keep smiling and staying who you are is a sign of a helluva man.
yeah, I have found the best, and yeah, am working on believing I deserve all the wonderful things he adds to my life.
Chuck baby I'm never really gone. and you know where to look. :flirt: but thank you for missing me. :kiss:
I didn't have a real positive, supportive childhood. Nothing I did was ever good enough, and I've grown into a perfectionist who never finds anything I do good enough, either. But I never place such limitations on others. Go figure.
So yeah, its hard to believe I can be loved as Paul swears he loves me.. just as I am..he's never critical, or judgemental. And thats exactly what I have searched for all my life!! I believe in acceptance of others rather than judging, or trying to change them into what our belief is they could or should be. Yet here, when that's exactly what he gives me, I am so awestruck, certain surely some 'bomb will drop', and he'll find all the flaws I find in me?
Yet I am aware of my qualities, as well, and know those too are part of who I am. I find it easy to admire these same traits of kindness, compassion, and loyalty in others. I am learning others find them admirable in me.
Bliss, you have long been a woman I respect and admire, even when you were a man!! and you are right, I have every reason to be happy, and I am blessed with what I have. Years of conditioning, will melt in time. :kiss:
biguy, thank you for letting me know I am not the only one, at least I'm not crazy!
and yeah, the 'not being fully aware of it' comment makes so much sense. sometimes Paul looks at me like, "wow, how can you not know how I feel every time I look at you?"
I've no intention of letting him go, nor he, me; he has stated. And my best to you and your mrs as well. Some of us have spent so long hearing we arent good enough, it takes a long time learning truly, we are even better. :hug:
nj my sister, you are like a solid piece of sense to me and I am so glad you are here with your strong voice, and you share and you never waver in your honesty and values.Even if I don't often get time for posting, I try to keep up with everyone, reading the forum when I can, and Paul always lets me know of any 'major, erm, 'turnovers'? lol
bridezilla? roflmao at that. we are going to the courthouse. I am no big wedding kind of girl, we want low key and just no more than to be thankful for finding each other- and LPSG for actually being the conduit!
I love you too Big O- your life and and your ups and downs and your ability to keep smiling and staying who you are is a sign of a helluva man.
yeah, I have found the best, and yeah, am working on believing I deserve all the wonderful things he adds to my life.
Chuck baby I'm never really gone. and you know where to look. :flirt: but thank you for missing me. :kiss:
