A few months ago, I got pissed because I got skipped over for a promotion at work. I'm a server/trainer/headwait at a chain restaurant. I've been trying to get on the bar since the day I was hired in 2006. I've had previous bartending experience, yet my bosses are dead set on putting new people who can't handle the immediate workload back there.
I think it's because I'm not thin enough. A lot of restaurant job positions are based on looks. Young cute hostess, attractive bartenders, young guy bussers.
The girls they have behind the bar now, not to be mean, definitely aren't attractive to me. I think I'm much cuter and have a way better personality. All of the bar regulars love me. Yet, I can't get a fucking job on the bar to save my life!
One manager told me it was based on seniority - who has been there the longest - well, the girl they are training now - I've been there WAY longer than her.
Another manager says it's based on job performance and that the other girls have been asking longer. That's BS. I bust my ass at work. I wouldn't be a trainer/headwait if I didn't.
I asked this same manager last night if they were training anyone new - he said no. That was a lie. The girl was taking her liquor class today. That really pisses me off.
Again, I think it's because I'm not thin enough. Yet, I've lost almost 40lbs. I feel like going up to the proprietor and saying "How much fucking weight do I have to lose to get on the goddamn bar?!"
I've literally been bawling my eyes out for the past hour because I'm just so upset. I'm upset that I'm being lied to by management. I'm upset that I keep getting skipped over.
But I feel like I shouldn't be. The girls they have on the bar now are the bitchy ones i've blogged about before. And that's what bugs me - it seems the degenerate loser types get ahead, while the genuine hard workers get shit the fuck on. I feel shit the fuck on.
I don't want to stay in FL much longer. Maybe this is the catalyst that I need to push my ass out.
How would you approach management about this problem? Would you at all? I'm just so upset. And feeling super alone.
******** EDIT *****
I just emailed an employee discrimination lawyer.
"I have a question about discrimination in the workplace. I've read over your FAQs, and it doesn't seem like my particular problem area would be covered. I work for a very large chain restaurant. I've been employed with the company since 2006. I took one short leave of absence due to another job, but was welcomed back gladly. Since the day I applied in 2006, I've expressed great interest in becoming a bartender. I'm a certified trainer at that restaurant and I'm also a head wait, which is a position of high responsibility as I handle the company's money for the night. I have high sales. I receive great responses on customer satisfaction surveys, yet continually I am denied the opportunity to become a bartender. When I applied in 2006, I had bartending experience from another restaurant and from taking a bartending class. As management changed, I had spoken with every front of house manager expressing my interest, and it seems everyone had a different excuse as to why I wasn't being moved up. Within the last 5 months, 4 servers have been promoted to bar. I spoke with the proprietor of the restaurant and he told me it was based on seniority. Well, I have been there longer than 2 of those 4 who were promoted. Now, they are looking to fill another spot and yet again, they are choosing someone else. I feel like I am not being selected for bar because of my weight. They like to put 'thin pretty' girls behind the bar. While I think I'm pretty, I am a curvier figure. Not obese, just not rail thin. I have a great rapport with bar regulars. I actually have bar experience yet these servers get put on ahead of me who have none. One of the servers they promoted has come into work after drinking before and high on occasion. Every manager gives me a different reason why I'm not being promoted, they basically lie to my face. If it was based on seniority they should have a physical list, but they don't, because that is just a cover, I believe. I've also just lost 35lbs. Apparently, that isn't enough. I had confronted a manager in the past about the weight issue and he said he couldn't say that was what it was. Do you think anything is going on here? It just all seems very unfair and unjust to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. "
I think it's because I'm not thin enough. A lot of restaurant job positions are based on looks. Young cute hostess, attractive bartenders, young guy bussers.
The girls they have behind the bar now, not to be mean, definitely aren't attractive to me. I think I'm much cuter and have a way better personality. All of the bar regulars love me. Yet, I can't get a fucking job on the bar to save my life!
One manager told me it was based on seniority - who has been there the longest - well, the girl they are training now - I've been there WAY longer than her.
Another manager says it's based on job performance and that the other girls have been asking longer. That's BS. I bust my ass at work. I wouldn't be a trainer/headwait if I didn't.
I asked this same manager last night if they were training anyone new - he said no. That was a lie. The girl was taking her liquor class today. That really pisses me off.
Again, I think it's because I'm not thin enough. Yet, I've lost almost 40lbs. I feel like going up to the proprietor and saying "How much fucking weight do I have to lose to get on the goddamn bar?!"
I've literally been bawling my eyes out for the past hour because I'm just so upset. I'm upset that I'm being lied to by management. I'm upset that I keep getting skipped over.
But I feel like I shouldn't be. The girls they have on the bar now are the bitchy ones i've blogged about before. And that's what bugs me - it seems the degenerate loser types get ahead, while the genuine hard workers get shit the fuck on. I feel shit the fuck on.
I don't want to stay in FL much longer. Maybe this is the catalyst that I need to push my ass out.
How would you approach management about this problem? Would you at all? I'm just so upset. And feeling super alone.
******** EDIT *****
I just emailed an employee discrimination lawyer.
"I have a question about discrimination in the workplace. I've read over your FAQs, and it doesn't seem like my particular problem area would be covered. I work for a very large chain restaurant. I've been employed with the company since 2006. I took one short leave of absence due to another job, but was welcomed back gladly. Since the day I applied in 2006, I've expressed great interest in becoming a bartender. I'm a certified trainer at that restaurant and I'm also a head wait, which is a position of high responsibility as I handle the company's money for the night. I have high sales. I receive great responses on customer satisfaction surveys, yet continually I am denied the opportunity to become a bartender. When I applied in 2006, I had bartending experience from another restaurant and from taking a bartending class. As management changed, I had spoken with every front of house manager expressing my interest, and it seems everyone had a different excuse as to why I wasn't being moved up. Within the last 5 months, 4 servers have been promoted to bar. I spoke with the proprietor of the restaurant and he told me it was based on seniority. Well, I have been there longer than 2 of those 4 who were promoted. Now, they are looking to fill another spot and yet again, they are choosing someone else. I feel like I am not being selected for bar because of my weight. They like to put 'thin pretty' girls behind the bar. While I think I'm pretty, I am a curvier figure. Not obese, just not rail thin. I have a great rapport with bar regulars. I actually have bar experience yet these servers get put on ahead of me who have none. One of the servers they promoted has come into work after drinking before and high on occasion. Every manager gives me a different reason why I'm not being promoted, they basically lie to my face. If it was based on seniority they should have a physical list, but they don't, because that is just a cover, I believe. I've also just lost 35lbs. Apparently, that isn't enough. I had confronted a manager in the past about the weight issue and he said he couldn't say that was what it was. Do you think anything is going on here? It just all seems very unfair and unjust to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. "
