Adjusting

[Dgames]

Hey guys. So I’m 33 and gay, and yesterday for the first time, I felt like my best friend, who is straight, was sort of trying to show off.

So in one instance, he adjusted himself right in front of me, waited till it was just him and I. And he didn’t do the pinch and pull, he literally grabbed and moved.. I thought whatever.. I’ve been there before.. but then he kept making an excuse to touch me. First, he tried to get me to squirm by massaging my shoulder with his elbow, but then when I liked it he kept going.. then we were sitting on the same bench, and our legs touched, and he didn’t move it.. I mean I didn’t either, but usually, I know straight guys will move their leg if it touches mine.

I’m curious if I’m imagining things, or if sometimes straight guys just like messing with gay dudes, in the sense of teasing. But I am curious, if any straight guys do these things on purpose.. and why?

 

[LPSG Simon]

if any straight guys do these things on purpose.. and why?

Sometimes they're really cool and just dont mind a closer than usual level of body contact, sometimes they might be experimenting and will eventually ask for what they want, other times they're just being a prick tease for their own validation (which is a little toxic IMO).

Pro-tip, the more nonchalant you are about their attention, the better this will go. Usually things get weird when you take their signals and respond to them the same way we would with other queer men, of if something DOES happen and suddenly you're texting and setting up expectations all the time. Usually (and don't come for me for being sexist) the tourist-type are looking for fun without the strings they're used to expecting from the heteronormative game, so if you 'chick-out' (as one of them called it in my experience), they're going to start avoiding you or making it seem like you're the weird one (not good). And they may also just simply be ok with open body language. It can be a hot kind of thing to indulge, but just be sure to stay cool and keep any expectations and seriousness set aside for actual queer people who aren't ambiguous in their behaviours.

 

[Dgames]

Sometimes they're really cool and just dont mind a closer than usual level of body contact, sometimes they might be experimenting and will eventually ask for what they want, other times they're just being a prick tease for their own validation (which is a little toxic IMO).

Pro-tip, the more nonchalant you are about their attention, the better this will go. Usually things get weird when you take their signals and respond to them the same way we would with other queer men, of if something DOES happen and suddenly you're texting and setting up expectations all the time. Usually (and don't come for me for being sexist) the tourist-type are looking for fun without the strings they're used to expecting from the heteronormative game, so if you 'chick-out' (as one of them called it in my experience), they're going to start avoiding you or making it seem like you're the weird one (not good). And they may also just simply be ok with open body language. It can be a hot kind of thing to indulge, but just be sure to stay cool and keep any expectations and seriousness set aside for actual queer people who aren't ambiguous in their behaviours.

thanks Simon! I didn’t plan on anything happening, or quite frankly want anything to happen. I just had to get a thought out and see how it played out. I’ve known him a long time and being married, and him engaged, I wouldn’t want anything like that to ever happen. I’d rather keep the bro life than expect anything to happen. I mean.. I’m totally curious what he looks like in the buff and how big his dick is soft and hard, but it’s not that serious. Lol

 

[halcyondays]

First, he tried to get me to squirm

Are you sure it was intentional? You guys are best friends so you may well be imagining things. If it bothers you maybe ask him? Clear the air?

When I was young I had a number of male friends who shared shoulder rubs. That's not surprising since I was into yoga and bodywork and some of them were as well. Most were straight so there was nothing sexual about it but at least one was gay and became irritated with me over time even though he massaged me first. I wasn't teasing him, just reciprocating like we all did.

When I asked him if he wanted me to stop he said no. When I asked if he wanted more he said yes and we became lovers for a while. We weren't besties so that wasn't an issue. His irritation was a giveaway. Shoulder rubs aren't supposed to be irritating.

My point is I have never intentionally teased a gay/bi friend but I have been accused.

Close friends are off limits sexually since I lost a straight bestie over a three-way long ago. Wasn't worth it. I lost another good friend bc he wanted more and I didn't. He identified as bi.

Here's a thought: maybe he adjusted himself while alone with you bc 1) he needed to and 2) you're best friends so he's comfortable with you.

 

[Dgames]

Are you sure it was intentional? You guys are best friends so you may well be imagining things. If it bothers you maybe ask him? Clear the air?

When I was young I had a number of male friends who shared shoulder rubs. That's not surprising since I was into yoga and bodywork and some of them were as well. Most were straight so there was nothing sexual about it but at least one was gay and became irritated with me over time even though he massaged me first. I wasn't teasing him, just reciprocating like we all did.

When I asked him if he wanted me to stop he said no. When I asked if he wanted more he said yes and we became lovers for a while. We weren't besties so that wasn't an issue. His irritation was a giveaway. Shoulder rubs aren't supposed to be irritating.

My point is I have never intentionally teased a gay/bi friend but I have been accused.

Close friends are off limits sexually since I lost a straight bestie over a three-way long ago. Wasn't worth it. I lost another good friend bc he wanted more and I didn't. He identified as bi.

Here's a thought: maybe he adjusted himself while alone with you bc 1) he needed to and 2) you're best friends so he's comfortable with you.

Thank you for the response. The massage was on purpose, see he does it randomly, he tried to get me by surprise, because before it use to hurt and he got a kick out of surprising me. But the last couple of times he does it, it just feels good so I lean into it and he does it for less than a minute. I think I was overthinking.

 

[LPSG Simon]

and him engaged

Maybe it's a little prenuptial housekeeping on getting his experiences checked off the list before the big day. (joking).

 

[Dgames]

Maybe it's a little prenuptial housekeeping on getting his experiences checked off the list before the big day. (joking).

imagine?