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- Feb 28, 2021
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- Ogdensburg (New York, United States)
- Sexuality
- Trans
I met this guy through dirtyroulette site last year, I was very horny that time and can't stop the call of nature lol. So I went this site to try see guys and to j*rk off. He's older than me about 8 yrs gap, his buff like he used to go to gym before but he stop it that's why he kinda look bulk. His cute, gentleman and isanely hot. At first meeting him, I thought he will just skip me just like the other guys because I'm quite obviously a crossdresser gay guy or femboy and I thought his str8 asf. He get my phone number and we started videocalling eachother. I dunno what to say at first to him because it my first time using that site and just came out my closet, so it's quite overwhelming for me meeting a guy online because I used to date girls before, but it's time for me to meet guys i like it just sad pandemic happened and i can't date outside. So back to the drama, when we videocall i was trying to talk to him but he don't say anything , I'm quite awkward to ask him about why am i doing those website and then he said he don't speak english because he live in cyprus and he was just using a translator to talk to me. Hahaha and funny to say we ended up having the best videocall we have with only using sign language to do things we desires. And after that, we did it again on other and the other day until we used to call eachother whenever we horny lol, it lasted a whole fcking 2 weeks and do some crazy things like roleplaying, and other nasty stuff he want me to perform while we videocalling, he will just text me a message to be ready before the videocall and when we start videocalling we don't say anything. Just pure intimate sounds while imagining ourselves making out but after that video he completely end it right away so i dont have time to talk to him. Until one day, i can't stop thinking about him and let's just say i broke the rule of getting attached by someone you just met on a fcking horny site. It was mistake, but i can't help how he treated me like no one does. So i texted him and he replied, he said he was at work and can't do videocall and i'd replied "I'm not here for that, I just wanna know you more as a person and not just a online fckbuddy. I wanna know your story, your life or how's your day because I didn't have a chance to know you coz u always hang me up after we finish." he said "me too, so okay, I'm here now, ask me anyhting." And I replied "are you single?" and he said "yes". I asked him, "Have you dated gays before ?" and he said "no, it's his first time doing this with guy". I said "okay, but have you fck a gay before in real life?" and he said "no, only girls". And i replied, "so why you keep calling me when you're into girls?" and he said " because you're so different and your very attractive and i like you."
At the back of my mind i was just like whaaaaaat??! tf with guy into lol.
So i texted him again, and said "so is there a chance of us getting into a relationship like boyfriend and boyfriend? Because I'm not really this kind of person, and while we keep doing this without the label of our relationship, i can't help myself to not falling for you.. Every single videocall we have I see you enjoying time with me and so do I. You know it's hard for me not liking you and pretend we just friends." And he replied, "I understand but I'm not gay. I like girls and I like you too. I'm really attracted to you and it's my first time meeting person like you."
And i replied okay.
But deep inside, i feel so confused and broken at the same time because knowing that he's into girls and calling me when his horny is quite isanely crazy situation I've been through. And as a person meeting this kind of person/guy for the first time, i feel sorry, hurt and sad at the same for letting myself going to this type of gay shit! Lmao
So after that conversation, i didn't receive any text message from him, weeks past and still he didn't show any concerns. Until one day, he texted me 8 messages, he say he was sorry because he was bussy at work and he misses me, so on. So, my gayass, let myself again getting attatched to this guy again even though I thought I already move on from him but I couldn't resists his presence, like his super hot now because his back on working out, and he cut his hair and he changed like a hunk alpha. Lmao I really can't help it. So we continue our "arrangements" if that you call. But it's not always though, like every other day or weeks before he texting me. But this time i don't chase him anymore, I just let him text me first duh!
Until one day while we doing some crazy shit on videocall, someone interupted him, i heard knocking a girl voice knocking his door, and it creep him out of his shit! Like he was super nervous. And he even forget to hang up the videocall so heard their conversation and before he get his phone, I end the call. He texted me that it his grandma called him, but i didn't believe him lol. Because i know it was a girl, and i even saw the dress and other clothes of a girl on the open closet behind him, he forget to close. And i just reply "okay, no worries" but lol back in my mind, ain't stupid shit letting this thing go. So i concluded that his in a relationship and cheating on her. And i stop texting him again, but he keep contacting me, saying he misses me, what happened why i stop answering his call, what he did. I just say im busy at work or make some excuses, but some this day we videocall because i cant stop my horny self seeing him naked because of his vikings aura haha. Sorry if i'm so flirty, i'm just gay lol.
So my i wanna ask an advice, if should i continue doing this kind of set-up? Because as ypu can see, i'm really enjoying it lol even tho i know for the fact we cant have a real relationship i want or i imagine. But also i feel guilty for the girl, not knowing his man doing. Because i feel her, I experience what it feels like being her shoes. Like my last bf also cheated on me, and now experiencing the opposite POV is really unexplainable with mixed emotions. I'm not really bad person and i hate ruining or hurting anybody. So what should I do?
ps. Sorry for the grammar error lol, i'm not really good at writing story in english and not a great storyteller. jules-19
At the back of my mind i was just like whaaaaaat??! tf with guy into lol.
So i texted him again, and said "so is there a chance of us getting into a relationship like boyfriend and boyfriend? Because I'm not really this kind of person, and while we keep doing this without the label of our relationship, i can't help myself to not falling for you.. Every single videocall we have I see you enjoying time with me and so do I. You know it's hard for me not liking you and pretend we just friends." And he replied, "I understand but I'm not gay. I like girls and I like you too. I'm really attracted to you and it's my first time meeting person like you."
And i replied okay.
But deep inside, i feel so confused and broken at the same time because knowing that he's into girls and calling me when his horny is quite isanely crazy situation I've been through. And as a person meeting this kind of person/guy for the first time, i feel sorry, hurt and sad at the same for letting myself going to this type of gay shit! Lmao
So after that conversation, i didn't receive any text message from him, weeks past and still he didn't show any concerns. Until one day, he texted me 8 messages, he say he was sorry because he was bussy at work and he misses me, so on. So, my gayass, let myself again getting attatched to this guy again even though I thought I already move on from him but I couldn't resists his presence, like his super hot now because his back on working out, and he cut his hair and he changed like a hunk alpha. Lmao I really can't help it. So we continue our "arrangements" if that you call. But it's not always though, like every other day or weeks before he texting me. But this time i don't chase him anymore, I just let him text me first duh!
Until one day while we doing some crazy shit on videocall, someone interupted him, i heard knocking a girl voice knocking his door, and it creep him out of his shit! Like he was super nervous. And he even forget to hang up the videocall so heard their conversation and before he get his phone, I end the call. He texted me that it his grandma called him, but i didn't believe him lol. Because i know it was a girl, and i even saw the dress and other clothes of a girl on the open closet behind him, he forget to close. And i just reply "okay, no worries" but lol back in my mind, ain't stupid shit letting this thing go. So i concluded that his in a relationship and cheating on her. And i stop texting him again, but he keep contacting me, saying he misses me, what happened why i stop answering his call, what he did. I just say im busy at work or make some excuses, but some this day we videocall because i cant stop my horny self seeing him naked because of his vikings aura haha. Sorry if i'm so flirty, i'm just gay lol.
So my i wanna ask an advice, if should i continue doing this kind of set-up? Because as ypu can see, i'm really enjoying it lol even tho i know for the fact we cant have a real relationship i want or i imagine. But also i feel guilty for the girl, not knowing his man doing. Because i feel her, I experience what it feels like being her shoes. Like my last bf also cheated on me, and now experiencing the opposite POV is really unexplainable with mixed emotions. I'm not really bad person and i hate ruining or hurting anybody. So what should I do?
ps. Sorry for the grammar error lol, i'm not really good at writing story in english and not a great storyteller. jules-19
