After Sex “ick”/disgusted

[KkhStacey]

Hi.

I don’t know where to post this or ask for opinions.. i’ve looked up on this topic but can’t seem to find anything on this particular feeling I still have

I had “sex” with someone I met through Tinder, we kissed and hugged and he dry jumped me.. during the entire “sex” thing I was turned on but I thing by the thought of just someone doing this stuff to me.

When looking at the guy I felt uncomfortable but tried faking it and he kept asking “what’s wrong” and stuff.

So we had that and now it’s been couple of weeks and I feel disgusted by him.

Literally disgusted, I don’t even want to have sex anymore. I can watch porn but I am so disgusted by sex with another person and thinking about him and the way he rubbed and touched my body makes me nauseous

Does anyone recognize this? Any tips? Are appreciated.

 

[borntobeking]

It could be that the chemistry between you two was not right. I have had similar experiences but never to the point where I no longer want to have sex anymore. I am sorry to hear that my friend. I hope you are able to gain some clarity.

For instance I have never had a true man on man experience. I can watch it but feel like the reality would be disgusting to me and the thought turns my stomach. You took a brave shot with someone. He clearly is not the right one but there may be others.

 

[deleted1025121]

I've had something like that but not by an individual alone. Like I can go through the entire routine of having sex with someone. Or even just frottage or whatever. And then after they leave I'm like disgusted and just want nothing to do with sex anymore. I can go months or sometimes even years without anything. Or even the same with just giving a bj. I'm into it at first and then after a few minutes go by I realize...this isn't as great as I remember. Because of this I've kind of termed myself asexual. I can be attracted to someone. Think they're handsome or something. But just the idea of having sex again....not something I want.

 

[KkhStacey]

That is exactly how I feel too, but I would not say that I am asexual I think.

But yeah I used to think I liked sucking dick and when I do it digusts me.. Maybe I am not gay and into girls? I am so confused, my whole life I thought I liked guys but when I got down to it.. seemed as if I was there to please the person and not myself

 

[KkhStacey]

It could be that the chemistry between you two was not right. I have had similar experiences but never to the point where I no longer want to have sex anymore. I am sorry to hear that my friend. I hope you are able to gain some clarity.

For instance I have never had a true man on man experience. I can watch it but feel like the reality would be disgusting to me and the thought turns my stomach. You took a brave shot with someone. He clearly is not the right one but there may be others.

I would not say never have sex, but the thought of seeing a man naked (in real life) digusts me now, when before I used to get turned on so hard. I still watch gay porn but that person really messed me up

 

[KkhStacey]

I want to go back to my “old self” again so bad and forget this happend.. he was also holding me as so hard and could not keep his hands of my body when I was trying to sleep. Just writing this.. I get flashbacks of that day/night and I am so disgusted and it’s been weeks..
I blocked him, deleted his messages but can’t seem to take that experience out of my head

 

[deleted1025121]

I just think you had a lousy experience with a guy and need a break. I'm surprised you were attracted enough at the beginning to initiate the sex but then it just turned bad so quickly. Odd. Sounds like you just need to try someone else or just give it all a rest for now. And are you Bi? Have you had sex with a woman? If you feel like you need to try that out do so. Also maybe dont have the person sleep over. That way you can just have the sex or fun and then you or he/she leave. Its rare I will stay the entire night with someone unless I know them well and am really into them.

 

[HOU_HEADHUNTER]

Could you by chance be bicurious? Sounds to me like you are turned on by the idea of the act itself with the same gender but you are harboring some shame after the fact. There are dl and bicurious men that will actively seek out other men for hookups and immediately after they block them on everything. It's due to shame and after they get what they want from the other man they try to get rid of all of the reminders. Usually there is a next time with a different man and the cycle repeats itself.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Hi.

I don’t know where to post this or ask for opinions.. i’ve looked up on this topic but can’t seem to find anything on this particular feeling I still have

I had “sex” with someone I met through Tinder, we kissed and hugged and he dry jumped me.. during the entire “sex” thing I was turned on but I thing by the thought of just someone doing this stuff to me.

When looking at the guy I felt uncomfortable but tried faking it and he kept asking “what’s wrong” and stuff.

So we had that and now it’s been couple of weeks and I feel disgusted by him.

Literally disgusted, I don’t even want to have sex anymore. I can watch porn but I am so disgusted by sex with another person and thinking about him and the way he rubbed and touched my body makes me nauseous

Does anyone recognize this? Any tips? Are appreciated.

I've read this thread and I'm assuming you're a) male b) gay c) comfortable in your sexuality... which now I've set it out seems like quite a lots of assumptions. Can you confirm/deny?

The part I keep coming back to is your use of the word "disgusted" - disgusted by sex, by male bodies, by your experience - I would like you to unpack that, if you can.

What disgusts you, exactly, about those things?

 

[dreambridger]

Hi.

I don’t know where to post this or ask for opinions.. i’ve looked up on this topic but can’t seem to find anything on this particular feeling I still have

I had “sex” with someone I met through Tinder, we kissed and hugged and he dry jumped me.. during the entire “sex” thing I was turned on but I thing by the thought of just someone doing this stuff to me.

When looking at the guy I felt uncomfortable but tried faking it and he kept asking “what’s wrong” and stuff.

So we had that and now it’s been couple of weeks and I feel disgusted by him.

Literally disgusted, I don’t even want to have sex anymore. I can watch porn but I am so disgusted by sex with another person and thinking about him and the way he rubbed and touched my body makes me nauseous

Does anyone recognize this? Any tips? Are appreciated.

Maybe the guy had a sketchy vibe that your body was sensing but late in translating, something you may have not felt in the heat of the moment but your body recognized after the fact. That's happened to me before, a guy has definitely made me feel "gross". Well, maybe there was something about him that was gross or gross about how he felt about you. Sometimes it takes a while to process these very subtle senses that we can experience through sex.

What else about the vibe can you say about it other than "disgusting"? Did the vibe feel "take-y"? or oblivious to you and your cues? or "smothering"? Maybe there's something else to this guy and the experience you had with this guy that may not be about sex in general. Maybe your current disgust with sex is like an immune system response developed out of that encounter.

Honestly, I do think you should have more experiences with others eventually, if for no other reason than to better understand what you're feeling. It's only been a couple of weeks though and there's no hurry in figuring yourself out, so take your time and keep feeling it out and eventually things start to reveal themselves. Someday you may look back at this experience and instead of thinking of it as disgusting, you'll just think of it as forgettable.