Hey lads!
So, before saying anything, just wanna say sorry for posting yet another anal question as I am aware there are already hundreds of these out there!! But they aren’t me, and I want answers pertaining to me!! Hahaha
Alrighty, so I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year, fucking adore him, couldn’t be happier....but....(there is always a but, literally)
We can’t have anal sex, I’m keen, really wanna, but my god each time we try it feels like he is stabbing my insides with a carving fork! He is huge...and I’m inexperienced. Is it normal for it to be this painful? Is it weird my dick goes soft?
What are your suggestions, I wanna get some plugs to try and loosen up with, but as we all know, that shit is super expensive!!!!!
Any input would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks boys!
Mwah xxx
So we are trained in most cultures from day one that your hole behind is the dirty place and stuff comes out but is never supposed to go in, and various layers of trauma around homosex and misogyny and bad medicine and monkey claw of doom death shits and a general unease about the anus train the brain to react to any perceived violation with a pain response which escalates if you panic or become upset about it. Which is usual when it hurts.
The chance it's actually doing damage is nil if he's using lube and not being a total wrecking ball. The pain, although it feels like it goes deep into you, is only at the sphincter where all the nerves are. Pleasure or pain. You may notice big ass turds come out of you with little to no problem most of the time. That is because your sphincter feels pressure on the upper part of the ring and automatically pops open. Yes, pops open (rarely does it get pushed open), as it is designed to do. So, knowing that, you can and should train it to pop open from pressure or play from the other end, which will make the whole thing much much better.
Lube: Put a cream or grease based lube ball up in your rectum about 7 inches, using a lube injector, well lubed, 15-20 before play. Just before insertion, inject the water or silicone based lube (this is not for condoms, if using rubbers water based and cream lube only)...the two kinds offer different layers of slippery and because it is up there come down as you play making the hole wetter which faciliates endurance.
Douche: 2-3 hours in advance . 2-3 cycles, cool warm warm. Not cold, not hot. Your last one should be moderate, anything that goes above the 2nd will come out in a gush when you get fucked. Doing if right before makes your system cramp and seize.
Foreplay: Fingers, tongues, small toys, vibrating toys, he is teasing you and making the outer hole feel good, not going deeper unless it feels good, or at worst, a bit weird. When it happens, he must stop, pull back and tease you back to pleasure and repeat. Your first three or four penetrations for pleasure using what is right for you need to be pain free so take time, you can also do it yourself.
If the pain is deeper up in, that is the cock hitting the sigmoid or bend in the colon where there is the only other nerve of note in the rectum after the sphinc. This needs to be realigned and that takes flexi dildo, flexi plug, and patience and time, you can do it better than he can most likely... gentle pushing on the tender part back and forth and bit by bit the toy wll go in past it and as it does, line it up with your asshole. He can follow that path now.
Rather than focus on taking him before hand, think about your pleasure, your anus, his seduction, and opening up for him by pushing out pulsing not too hard and thinking your hole blooming open BEFORE he gets near it. Your dick gets soft because the pressure from his cock on your prostate and bladder cut blood flow off and you may also be shrinking because of pain, or self doubt. Help him work the prostate with his cockhead once you are comfy with him in you so you can get the boner back.
I went through 10 years of hating anal because no one cared to teach or listen, took two years to take a fist so the process is as long as it needs to be, and the journey is fun, take care and give us updates.
