Asking Someone on a Date

[bigza123]

I'm not asking this with intentions of actually asking a guy out, but the question has popped up in my head.

Especially if you're unsure of the guy's sexual orientation, how can you hint at a guy you like that you're gay? And how do you go about asking this person out on a date?

I guess this question is also geared specifically toward first encounters. Obviously, if two guys are friends for a while, it shouldn't be too difficult to tell if the other guy is gay; however, I have pretty bad gaydar, hence my sparked curiosity of how to handle these things.

Also wondering in case a guy tries to get onto me and I don't realize it.

Thanks!

 

[D_22]

Honestly, I could only say the only way I'd be able to ask a dude out is if for sure I know their orientation. I have friends who asked dudes out without knowing and felt they had nothing to lose. But for me, I've asked guys out only after they revealed they were gay or bi or if I got the notice from a few people close to them that they were gay or bi. I've come to expect that when it comes to the asking out, I'd be the one to do it as I've heard from many people that people don't think I'm queer and I usually shock the guys I ask out because they either never saw it coming or they were too scared to be wrong. I've asked one guy out after he drunk text me, revealing that he was into me (wasn't sure of his orientation either).

Though I can say that being out plays a huge part of this. When I was in the closet, I lost a lot of opportunities with certain guys who I later found out were queer. While people are still concerned and believe I'm straight, I've still had a few people approach to talk to me because they heard from people that may not be straight, though much haven't come out of it. Also, there's always friends who have another queer friend wanting to do a hook up thing.

 

[concupisys]

if you know the person and you're both comfortable with your sexuality, then you should have no problem expressing that you're gay.... there have been a few times where i'm kind of unsure about someone, but as i get to know them it usually becomes apparent in the way they will talk about men and women.... or in some cases their current boyfriend or girlfriend....

in any case, asking someone out on a 'date' can often lead to high expectations or misleading intentions.... if you dig someone and you just want to get to know them better one-on-one, just ask them if they want to hang out sometime or grab a bite to eat or something.... if you're just hanging out casually without the big 'D' word making things weird, then you can both just chit-chat and have some good no-nonsense fun.... any questions you have about that person or what your intentions might be should be answered after a couple of hours of time alone together.... and hey! if the dating thing becomes a bust, at least you've made a friend....

good luck!