Being Corrected In Penisville

[Brianne_24]

You're ok with someone correcting your personal opinion and lived experience?

If my anecdotal experience is based in faulty reasoning and/or ignores objective data in a potentially negatively impactful way (for example someone saying "yea well i'm not a bigot so don't come whining about experiencing bigotry to me" doesn't mean bigotry doesn't still exist and negatively impacts people's lives) and/or is indicative of ANY bias, etc, then I'm happy to be challenged on it, absolutely. One of my goals as a human is minimizing bias in my opinions as much as possible, including any that I might have. There's a difference in having someone's personal experience invalidated vs accepting attitudes formed via personal experience as sound or not.

You 'splained plenty at me more than once now. Curious as to what it is about you that made you feel entitled to correct my opinion.

Maybe it was the way you "took advantage of such opportunities".. just a thought.

Sometimes people who think they're super informed are the ones who 'splain the most.

When you say I "took advantage of such opportunities", what do you mean?

Considering 'splaining (as I understand the definition) is a form of explaining obvious or currently known information to someone is a weirly paternal and condescending way, I don't think I was. If you relay truthful information to someone and their responses indicate they don't think the info is truthful or sound, then in my experience the pushback you get indicates they haven't accepted said truthful info as truthful (or don't care enough to put knowledge of it into action). Actions speak louder than words.

Personal truth is fine, of course, we all hold opinions and belief systems that work for us, but being skilled in discerning objective and political truths is also important. When things become more based in subjectivity I think there's more danger of settling into misinformed worldviews, biased echo chambers, etc so I always try to pushback on that when I see it, even if it makes someone uncomfortable, especially if it seem like their goal is to be righteous, a good person, etc. If someone doesn't seem concerned with that at all, I usually don't bother with them.

Given how often you hear statements on this forum like "Yeah well, in dating, personality is the only thing that ever matters to me, if you can't get dates it's probably on you" in comparison to "that said, sometimes men, like women, do experience discrimination in dating over things about their bodies they can't control, and i have compassion for them depending on their personality", it seemed reasonable to check the pattern of blind spots in these conversations that's emerged over time.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

If my anecdotal experience is based in faulty reasoning and/or ignores objective data in a potentially negatively impactful way (for example someone saying "yea well i'm not a bigot so don't come whining about experiencing bigotry to me" doesn't mean bigotry doesn't still exist and negatively impacts people's lives) and/or is indicative of ANY bias, etc, then I'm happy to be challenged on it, absolutely. One of my goals as a human is minimizing bias as much as possible, including any that I might have.



When you say I "took advantage of such opportunities", what do you mean?

Considering 'splaining (as I understand the definition) is a form of explaining obvious or currently known information to someone is a weirly paternal and condescending way, I don't think I was. If you relay truthful information to someone and their responses indicate they don't think the info is truthful or sound, then in my experience the pushback you get indicates they haven't accepted said truthful info as truthful (or don't care enough to put knowledge of it into action). Actions speak louder than words.

Personal truth is fine, of course, we all hold opinions and belief systems that work for us, but being skilled in discerning objective and political truths is also important. When things become more based in subjectivity I think there's more danger of settling into misinformed worldviews, biased echo chambers, etc so I always try to pushback on that when I see it, even if it makes someone uncomfortable, especially if it seem like their goal is to be righteous, a good person, etc. If someone doesn't seem concerned with that at all, I usually don't bother with them.

Given how often you hear statements on this forum like "Yeah well, in dating, personality is the only thing that ever matters to me, if you can't get dates it's probably on you" in comparison to "that said, sometimes men, like women, do experience discrimination in dating over things about their bodies they can't control, and i have compassion for them depending on their personality", it seemed reasonable to check the pattern of blind spots in these conversations that's emerged over time.

I think you take yourself a bit too seriously.

Just my opinion, which is worth absolutely nothing and doesn't need to be challenged in this instance.

You do ya thang, I'll just be over here doing mine.

 

[Brianne_24]

I think you take yourself a bit too seriously.

Just my opinion, which is worth absolutely nothing and doesn't need to be challenged in this instance.

You do ya thang, I'll just be over here doing mine.

I think your opinions are more valuable than you think. I would say they're still like diamonds in the rough on a forum like this, but diamonds can always be refined, polished, etc is all ^_^

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I think your opinions are more valuable than you think. They're still like diamonds in the rough on a forum like this, but diamonds can always be refined, polished, etc is all

I like it rough.

 

[Brianne_24]

lol