Don’t assume you know how “women” feel.
you may hear how some women express themselves on media, but you do NOT know how they feel.
You are not them, and your posting is often a beacon of lack of empathy. “All this will help ME in MY next relationship.”
Really? You have heard from women with differing views. Maybe clashing.
On your question, sex arises from intimacy, for me.
Part of the whole demisexual reality.
Like TNJ and her fella, my sweetie and I aren’t hard core on PDA.
Differing from them, there are small touches, hugs. But we both hug our friends. Or they hug us. It goes both ways. In the social circle, a peck is okay between friends, cheek or milliseconds on the lips.
I’m digging the social distancing because fewer people are touching me casually. I don’t hate it, but it’s one of the things that’s just done. I’m slightly on the positive side of neutral on casual touch. I hug good friends, of time elapsed or recent discovery.
When we are solo, the vulnerability, the “decomp” of the day, the venting of problems, even asking insight (I’ve learned to ask before offering, too) creates intimacy. It might flow to cuddling on the couch, sitting sans attire by his waterfall in the yard, and either might flow into sexual activities.
I have joked that we pillow talk on both ends of the activity.
Intimacy breeds trust. Trust helps love along.
We have yet to travel together. He travels for work. I’m broke. I’d love to surprise him on the road. (When Covid is either vanquished or routine)
We have cooked together, on a meal I brought over in a few differing stages of ready.
The important word is together. Merging energy has to happen as a continual daily thing.
Busy day and only a few minutes to catch up via phone? Understood.
Lazy day and one couldn’t be bothered? Better be very rare.
I’ve texted and said I was wiped out and I’d talk tomorrow.
But I’ve also been on the phone with him, checking snowpack/road conditions/ storm tracks as he drove through a New Years blizzard. Eleven hours of reporting. Exhausting. I’m so glad I changed careers!
Intimacy is stolen moments shared.