Best type of lube to use?

[8x7beardo]

I recently started hooking up with an older woman, who is very tiny (5'8 and about 100lbs). We've tried to have sex once, and she gave up (this was last Saturday) because she got hurt. I know I'm big, (check my pictures here for proof if you so desire), but she's said that the base of her vaginal entrance was torn and bled.

We did use lube, something waterbased. Do any girls have recommendation for dealing with particularly thick guys such as myself? Silicone?

I prefer water based myself, but are there any brands that are standbys?

 

[D_Anne_T_Freeze]

I gave always used virgin coconut oil but you have to be careful of the type of condom you use with it. It never dries up, is edible, natural, smells great and can be used for massages too. Plus it leavea the skin so moisturised.

 

[B_Sexual_Harrassment_Panda]

I have always had good experiences with the Kama Sutra Line that I purchase from Lover's Lane - Sexy Lingerie & Adult Toys | Lingerie, Sex Toys, Erotic Lingerie and More from Lover's Lane it is an edible, organic base lubricant and message oil. (Look for Kama Sutra under "Romantic Gifts") Jo Lube is a silicone stand-by that I have used from time to time that hasn't broken me out. I have to be careful on what lubes I use due to very sensitive skin..

Good luck!

 

[gretchenweiner]

I personally like Pre-Seed. I tried it after receiving a few samples from my ob/gyn. It is the most natural and enjoyable feeling lube, I've tried.

 

[Jillang]

I've tried a couple, liquid silk worked the best for us. I have no idea how expensive it is but my bf used to complain so I'm guessing it's pricey. We tried astroglide but we had to keep reapplying it so I thought liquid silk was better.

 

[Daisy]

I dont see what her height and weight have to do with pain during sex. Its a question of her being fully warmed up and ready. Any woman, big or small needs adequate foreplay and the willingness and desire to have sex or it could potentially hurt. I know that personally if I'm turned on enough I'd never need lube from a bottle. Aside from hormonal imbalance I don't know why a person would need lube (unless it's to lube a condom covered dick).

 

[MickeyLee]

5'8" and 100lbs?
*blink*
ya sure your numbers are correct?

cuz, if ya do... she's suffering from malnutrition.
sex/lube and your penis should be the last thing on her mind.
see Ms. Daisy's comments on hormonal imbalance.

 

[8x7beardo]

5'8" and 100lbs?
*blink*
ya sure your numbers are correct?

cuz, if ya do... she's suffering from malnutrition.
sex/lube and your penis should be the last thing on her mind.
see Ms. Daisy's comments on hormonal imbalance.

She's extremely petite, no malnutrition. Just really skinny. Maybe 110, I'm not sure, I can toss her over my shoulder without much trouble.

I went down on her, and made sure that she had a few orgasms before trying to enter her.

Of course, a condom was used. Safe sex only for me.

 

[Enid]

5'8" is pretty tall for a girl....100 pounds doesn't sound right. Not even 110. Unless she's a model or something, or has a model-like figure. What does her diet consist of, lettuce and Diet Coke?

All kidding aside, I have a best friend who is 5'10" and she weighs 145-150. She is a waif as far as I am concerned. Very slender.

I like sliquid as far as lube goes.

 

[8x7beardo]

She was previously a model. Same physique. Maybe she weighs more, and I'm underestimating my strength....

Our latest discussions are mostly going to circle the drain and then cut off activities, I'm afraid. She's almost certain I'm too big for her. I'll try with some of these lubes though.

Thanks for the help ladies!

 

[MickeyLee]

urm, information seeking, what's your fingering technique like?

what type of stretch/massage are you using... since she's tearing at the fourchette.. are ya paying attention to this area? did you try adjusting your angle of penetration?

 

[8x7beardo]

My fingering technique is very anterior heavy, aka g spot oriented. I have big hands, so I never really get more than two fingers in. Also, I do love oral, and hang out down there for 20-30 minutes at a go.

We've tried her on top, me on top, from behind. side-saddle, the list goes on...

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Of course, a condom was used. Safe sex only for me.

Maybe she's allergic to latex and what she's feeling is not personal dryness but the swelling or irritation from the condom? Latex condoms have, in the last two years, begun to irritate my vag, so I know at first it can present as a draggy, itchy, or dry feeling before it gets worse.

If she usually has condom-less sex, it could be she might not know or just developed the allergy. Why not try a latex-free condom? Kimono brand is pretty damn good, but you can find plenty of options in your local drugstore as well, like Skyn.

Oh, and put me on team lube. I get extremely wet, however when with a big, particularly girthy, partner there's nothing like a bit of extra cushion from lube to cut down on soreness... and to make the transition to buttseks with ease. :tongue: I prefer Sliquid Organic or Durex Aloe. Actually anything organic, with aloe, and other soothing botanicals works for me.

 

[8x7beardo]

I checked today, no known latex allergy. I think we might have to stop too. She's terrified of my size. :frown1:

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

You said she was older..... menopausal? that could make her dry out quickly even if she is excited. When you get to that age... lube is your best friend... even if you are very wet to begin with ... those hormones have a mind of their own... and all women are different... even during this stage.

I use PlatinumWet and Gun Oil and like them both.

The biggest issue at hand that I see is your girth.. not your length..
Perhaps you could try lots of foreplay and work her up to it... stretching with your fingers, adding one at a time, until she tells you that is enough... that's going to help SOME... go slow and don't press it... Pressuring her may just make her more nervous.

but bottom line...some wome have tiny vaginas and some have large ones. (Outer size, height/weight, really has nothing to do with the inner workings.) Perhaps work on her boobs and try other ways to get her off... and you ...

"She's terrified of my cock" says a lot to me... It also says that she may have some mental hangups now b/c the first experience was painful... I have a toy that is 7" in girth... it is very difficult to take straight on... I have to work up to it, but eventually I can take it.... I don't know if this will work for her or not...

good luck.. it must be frustrating for BOTH of you ~

FP

 

[8x7beardo]

Fancy, you're exactly right, the trouble is with my girth. I finger her, and get her pretty warmed up. I have a feeling its a mental hangup more than anything. Apparently her ex husband was big, though she's said not quite my size, and that caused her some pain. To get a better idea of her frame and dimensions, but I get awfully scraped just getting the head into her mouth.

 

[hippyglass]

was gonna second liquid silk as a lube - also slippery stuff and any other designed more for anal use, maybe. also seconding the psychological component.

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

Fancy, you're exactly right, the trouble is with my girth. I finger her, and get her pretty warmed up. I have a feeling its a mental hangup more than anything. Apparently her ex husband was big, though she's said not quite my size, and that caused her some pain. To get a better idea of her frame and dimensions, but I get awfully scraped just getting the head into her mouth.

It may or may not be mental. It could be that she is just small...

FP

 

[molotovmuffin]

5'8" and 100lbs?
*blink*
ya sure your numbers are correct?

cuz, if ya do... she's suffering from malnutrition.
sex/lube and your penis should be the last thing on her mind.
see Ms. Daisy's comments on hormonal imbalance.

Not always. I was 5'7 and 102-107 and healthy.