Bisexual here jealous of guys in same-sex relationships. Anyone else?

[bigboaster]

Right. I'm a bisexual guy from the Caribbean who has only had girlfriends but no boyfriends. I'm definitely no gay virgin lol but the most I've ever had relationship wise was friends with benefits with this one guy. But it was never official or something like a boyfriend. We were both closeted.

Being openly gay/queer is taboo where I live so it just easier to date women (and these relationships are fulfilling btw and I did love these women fully in the actual relationship) but I do wish to have a boyfriend one day since I lean more towards guys overall.

Maybe if I move to the States permanently. I previously lived in Texas for work but again only ever had one night stands with guys there.

Anyone else in a similar romantic bind. Wanting a gay relationship and not just sex.

 

[6798491]

Right. I'm a bisexual guy from the Caribbean who has only had girlfriends but no boyfriends. I'm definitely no gay virgin lol but the most I've ever had relationship wise was friends with benefits with this one guy. But it was never official or something like a boyfriend. We were both closeted.

Being openly gay/queer is taboo where I live so it just easier to date women (and these relationships are fulfilling btw and I did love these women fully in the actual relationship) but I do wish to have a boyfriend one day since I lean more towards guys overall.

Maybe if I move to the States permanently. I previously lived in Texas for work but again only ever had one night stands with guys there.

Anyone else in a similar romantic bind. Wanting a gay relationship and not just sex.

I'm closeted too, and polyamorous (I'm also first generation Caribbean-American & my dad was from Bermuda).
Me and 2 of my 4 boyfriends are closeted, so I still sneak around and it's actually become kind of a kink for me.
I don't know why or how, but it has.

 

[bigboaster]

I'm closeted too, and polyamorous (I'm also first generation Caribbean-American & my dad was from Bermuda).
Me and 2 of my 4 boyfriends are closeted, so I still sneak around and it's actually become kind of a kink for me.
I don't know why or how, but it has.

At least you have boyfriend(s). Closeted or not. So that smiles better than me for now. Hahaha.

Yeah the secrecy can be a kink for some people. Not sure it is for me.

 

[deleted867851]

Yeah, i know what you saying sometimes it would be easier. If you lean more towards guys then why not go someplace where you can be more comfortable and open about who you are. Life is too short to regret. If you really are feeling jealous over open gay men then go for it. Do you really want to look back and regret not doing something that would make you happier. If you're jealous i can only see it leading to resentment. Good luck

 

[HeroSignalCosplay]

Im from Louisiana, and while it's not taboo here in the states (just looked down on by the closed minded) I had secret boyfriends before I came out, Im pansexual and polyamorous (currently in an open throuple marriage with my husband and wife), I love women and the ones I dated but I also in school realized I love men too and from personal experience it's possible to have an actual romantic relationship with guys in secret trust me I was super scared of being found out by my family back then (now they know and I couldnt give two shxts lol)

Anyway some tips try dating/hookup apps and specify you're interested in something more you might some like minded guys who want the same. As for dating in secret......you'd have to hang out in discretion or around people you trusts like friends (no PDA unless youre in a trusted disclosed location or a dark theatre those are fun to fool around in lol) or do the dates at your place or his that way nothing has to be hidden and if you wanna hit the bedroom yall can just head down the hall and should anyone you dont trust asks or see you out and about just say he's a friend and you guys are close (technically its not a lie)

 

[deleted19462351]

Sort of too, but in my case it's more about what could have been instead of not being able to, not exactly looking for a same sex relationship but kinda saddened that it didn't happened (also a bit jealous of two hot guys I know that are dating)

 

[bigboaster]

Yeah, i know what you saying sometimes it would be easier. If you lean more towards guys then why not go someplace where you can be more comfortable and open about who you are. Life is too short to regret. If you really are feeling jealous over open gay men then go for it. Do you really want to look back and regret not doing something that would make you happier. If you're jealous i can only see it leading to resentment. Good luck

I mean it's easy to say "just move" right lol. And eventually I want to but it's not currently in the cards for me is all.

"jealous" in this case is probably too strong a word. Didn't mean it quite so literally but your advice is appreciated nonetheless.

 

[bigboaster]

Im from Louisiana, and while it's not taboo here in the states (just looked down on by the closed minded) I had secret boyfriends before I came out, Im pansexual and polyamorous (currently in an open throuple marriage with my husband and wife), I love women and the ones I dated but I also in school realized I love men too and from personal experience it's possible to have an actual romantic relationship with guys in secret trust me I was super scared of being found out by my family back then (now they know and I couldnt give two shxts lol)

Anyway some tips try dating/hookup apps and specify you're interested in something more you might some like minded guys who want the same. As for dating in secret......you'd have to hang out in discretion or around people you trusts like friends (no PDA unless youre in a trusted disclosed location or a dark theatre those are fun to fool around in lol) or do the dates at your place or his that way nothing has to be hidden and if you wanna hit the bedroom yall can just head down the hall and should anyone you dont trust asks or see you out and about just say he's a friend and you guys are close (technically its not a lie)

Hey buddy. Obviously I'm familiar with you already lol so most of this info was already well known to me.

And your advice is solid (although I don't have much trouble being sneaky and secretive with hookups and such, you kinda have to be be if you wanna be survive in these parts lol) so not specifically useful for me but it could be for someone else I'm sure. Hahaha.

 

[NCAA1133]

Right. I'm a bisexual guy from the Caribbean who has only had girlfriends but no boyfriends. I'm definitely no gay virgin lol but the most I've ever had relationship wise was friends with benefits with this one guy. But it was never official or something like a boyfriend. We were both closeted.

Being openly gay/queer is taboo where I live so it just easier to date women (and these relationships are fulfilling btw and I did love these women fully in the actual relationship) but I do wish to have a boyfriend one day since I lean more towards guys overall.

Maybe if I move to the States permanently. I previously lived in Texas for work but again only ever had one night stands with guys there.

Anyone else in a similar romantic bind. Wanting a gay relationship and not just sex.

If it helps I’m gay, 27 and never dated anybody. So you’re not alone!

 

[6798491]

I'd say move to a more open minded area like New York City or Los Angeles - that way, the dating scene will be larger, you get to be free (in an accepting environment), and I'm sure there will be more job opportunities in states like New York and California.
I live in New Jersey myself (2 hours from NYC), and I'm working on a move to Los Angeles in 6 months, for all those same reasons.

 

[petter patt]

Being in this situation is sickening. You fantasize having one. For me what's hindering me is the kind of job I have. People finding out who I am will surely affect my socialization and I really can't afford that. So staying closeted is the only choice I have.

 

[ASK JEFF]

Being in this situation is sickening. You fantasize having one. For me what's hindering me is the kind of job I have. People finding out who I am will surely affect my socialization and I really can't afford that. So staying closeted is the only choice I have.

That’s sad. That actually hurt my heart, and I don’t even know you.

I hope that one day you’ll put YOURSELF ahead of any job or any socialization and BE YOU. Being free from all of that would be amazing for you. I empathize with your only fantasizing of wanting a relationship and wished things were different for you. I wish you all the best. Being gay, bisexual—whatever labels you want to attach—shouldn’t be so difficult for anyone, but even today in the 21st century, it is For many. What a shame.

kisses on your pink parts
JEFF

 

[HeroSignalCosplay]

Being in this situation is sickening. You fantasize having one. For me what's hindering me is the kind of job I have. People finding out who I am will surely affect my socialization and I really can't afford that. So staying closeted is the only choice I have.

Im so sorry you have to go through that, no one who wants to be out should be forced to stay in, I hope it works out for you in the future. Dont give up hope. I hope and pray that you can find the way to be all you want to be and free. Sending you love hugs and allutha feels. Stay Strong

 

[petter patt]

O well, that being said staying in the shadows. I might just die virgin! Thank you for the kind words, pals! I really appreciate it.

 

[Cologuy19]

At the end of the day it is most important to find your best path to fulfillment. Really there is no perfect direction and nobody can provide a model because you are your own person with your own issues and super powers. Every option has trade offs. Try to explore as much as you can with in a safe way so you can honestly determine how you should live your life. Don’t be pressured and don’t yield to individual examples. This is a very confusing time for many people because there is more freedom than in the past.