Breast Reduction Surgery

[Adreaux]

Most women in my family are very large breasted. They've always had back pain & mobility issues. One of the most common memories I have is after the women in my family cooked for everyone all day is them setting their boobs on the table after dinner & them finally looking like they got some relief.

My cousin is my age (26) & has the same breast size issues. I recommended breast reduction surgery to her. Her husband & I got into a full-on brawl (not bragging, but I won). It was his view that it was none of my business & that if he liked it, they were staying (if you cant tell, he's a dick).

Before her husband got involved, I think I had convinced her of the benefits & that it wasn't cosmetic surgery, it's necessary if she doesnt want to spend her life in pain. But her husband's intervention has made her sour on the idea.

Should I bring it up again? If so, is there another argument I should offer? Am I interfering by bringing up the issue? Is it even any business of her husband?

 

[EllieP]

I had breast reduction surgery a little over 10 years ago. My only regret is that I did not do it sooner. I have permanent neck and back nerve damage from carrying around so much weight. It was a medical necessity.

That said, I know you mean well and want the best for her, but this is a decision borne primarily be her, but also involves her spouse. While I had made up my mind to finally go through with it, it was only after a deep discussion with my husband, who, by the way, supported me 100%.

He may be an asshole, but he's her asshole, and she'll have to live with him.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I don't have the experience of having large boobs. Mine barely exist. But...

You've said your piece. You expressed your concern and suggestions. It's her decision, not only whether or not to have the procedure done. She gets to decide whether her husbands opinions matter enough to impact her decision.

She gets to decide if she wants to tolerate the pain/discomfort for the sake of pleasing another person.

If she makes a choice she ends up regretting later in life, you tried. But continuing to bring it up could just put a wedge between the two of you. In my opinion, it's not anyone's business but hers. Not her husband, not you. But I'm not her, and she's an adult who has to live with the choices she makes for herself given the information and circumstances in front of her.

If I was you I'd leave it alone unless she asked for help making the decision.

 

[Adreaux]

He may be an asshole, but he's her asshole, and she'll have to live with him.

If I was you I'd leave it alone unless she asked for help making the decision.

The 2 gals I go to for keepin it real & have always been there when I needed em, have put me on the right path. I think the other factor is that I cant stand her husband - which shouldn't involve her, at all. I try to be well-intentioned, but need to figure out when to clean my hands of things & let go. Thanks m'chers.

 

[Holly Doors]

@Adreaux ,
Is it possible the women/woman you're talking about simply aren't using good quality bras and or wearing the wrong size?
I'm a UK 44KK, 44P in American sizes, always had large breasts but obviously as the poor old body ages things change and the importance of a properly fitting and good supporting bra is essential.
Right from the start I was given some great advice, always get fitted by a trusted professional with a good reputation and always buy the best bra I could afford. Thankfully I've never really suffered from back or shoulder pain and I can tell when a bra is going bad and losing its support because I can feel the weight more on my shoulders, sure I sometimes get the odd niggle etc but nothing like it would be if I was wearing the wrong band size for instance which can lead over time to spine deformation and all sorts of issues.
Personally I'm not interested in having reduction surgery, not unless I developed a medical issue which meant I needed to, I just make sure I look after the boobs and keep them happy. Happy boobies, happy body.
As far as I'm concerned as long as they don't cause me trouble they'll stay put, I wouldn't want unnecessary surgery myself and I firmly believe I've only escaped back and shoulder problems because I listened to that advice many years ago.

 

[EllieP]

@Adreaux ,
Is it possible the women/woman you're talking about simply aren't using good quality bras and or wearing the wrong size?
I'm a UK 44KK, 44P in American sizes, always had large breasts but obviously as the poor old body ages things change and the importance of a properly fitting and good supporting bra is essential.
Right from the start I was given some great advice, always get fitted by a trusted professional with a good reputation and always buy the best bra I could afford. Thankfully I've never really suffered from back or shoulder pain and I can tell when a bra is going bad and losing its support because I can feel the weight more on my shoulders, sure I sometimes get the odd niggle etc but nothing like it would be if I was wearing the wrong band size for instance which can lead over time to spine deformation and all sorts of issues.
Personally I'm not interested in having reduction surgery, not unless I developed a medical issue which meant I needed to, I just make sure I look after the boobs and keep them happy. Happy boobies, happy body.
As far as I'm concerned as long as they don't cause me trouble they'll stay put, I wouldn't want unnecessary surgery myself and I firmly believe I've only escaped back and shoulder problems because I listened to that advice many years ago.

That is so true! For years I wore a 34G (US). Then I consulted a professional bra fitter. Guys, they don't tell you that on career day in high school, but that's an actual profession! LOL!

Anyway, he asked me what I wore before I was a G cup. I told him 32DD. He asked if I had major thoracic surgery or was in a tragic accident. I told him no. He asked then why I went from 32 to 34. Duh, because it fit!

He steered me into a 32H and it was night and day! The heavens opened and the angels sang! I was a new woman! But, the damage was already done. Something as simple as the wrong size did not give me the proper support. Just a few years later I had reduction surgery, and I have no regrets.

 

[Holly Doors]

T

That is so true! For years I wore a 34G (US). Then I consulted a professional bra fitter. Guys, they don't tell you that on career day in high school, but that's an actual profession! LOL!

Anyway, he asked me what I wore before I was a G cup. I told him 32DD. He asked if I had major thoracic surgery or was in a tragic accident. I told him no. He asked then why I went from 32 to 34. Duh, because it fit!

He steered me into a 32H and it was night and day! The heavens opened and the angels sang! I was a new woman! But, the damage was already done. Something as simple as the wrong size did not give me the proper support. Just a few years later I had reduction surgery, and I have no regrets.

There really should be better awareness about it all imo, it needs to start in high school and be delivered in the same way as sex ed, contraception and period awareness.
I'm sorry to hear you suffered at the hand of wrong bras Ellie and that it caused you such lasting damage
Large breasts run in my family, I was so lucky that at a young age once I'd started getting big my mother took me to a good independent outlet where the fitter drummed the importance of wearing the correct size into me, I guess I was also lucky that I actually took it all on board because I've always been a little wayward especially back then I didn't really listen much to anyone or anything but for whatever reason I did take that on board.
Certainly wasn't easy tho, my folks were far from wealthy people so the expense of keeping me in bras wasn't easy for them plus I have two younger sisters they went through the same with. My mum understood tho having had back and shoulder trouble most of her life, times were tight so it was a massive expense for my folks which really hit me properly when I started working/left home and had to fend for myself. I was in a humble dressmaking job, long before minimum wage was a thing only earning £120 a week of which £80 of that went on the rent for my flat. Apart from the usual living costs I then realised how difficult it was to save money to keep aside for bras, my god I used to dread a bra going bad, I used to patch them up myself in my spare time to try and get as much life as possible out of them, I had some proper frankenstien bras back in the day, of course I couldn't do anything about out growing them tho, I did have a few attempts at alteration etc but even with my seamstress skills I wasn't really successful.
Give me a dress or any clothes and I could work wonders on the fit which has been a useful skill with my body type, but bras, wow, they're a very difficult animal to work with and get right!

 

[Adreaux]

@Adreaux ,
Is it possible the women/woman you're talking about simply aren't using good quality bras and or wearing the wrong size?
I'm a UK 44KK, 44P in American sizes, always had large breasts but obviously as the poor old body ages things change and the importance of a properly fitting and good supporting bra is essential.
Right from the start I was given some great advice, always get fitted by a trusted professional with a good reputation and always buy the best bra I could afford. Thankfully I've never really suffered from back or shoulder pain and I can tell when a bra is going bad and losing its support because I can feel the weight more on my shoulders, sure I sometimes get the odd niggle etc but nothing like it would be if I was wearing the wrong band size for instance which can lead over time to spine deformation and all sorts of issues.
Personally I'm not interested in having reduction surgery, not unless I developed a medical issue which meant I needed to, I just make sure I look after the boobs and keep them happy. Happy boobies, happy body.
As far as I'm concerned as long as they don't cause me trouble they'll stay put, I wouldn't want unnecessary surgery myself and I firmly believe I've only escaped back and shoulder problems because I listened to that advice many years ago.

I cant begin to tell you how much help youve been. I took the long route of mentioning proper bra sizes to my dad, to tell my mom, who passed it all through the family. My mom, grandma, great-grandma, aunts, cousins all drove the 3 hours to New Orleans where they could actually find someone who properly fit them & had their proper sizes.

I think it was almost emotional for my mom, aunts, grandma, etc - they felt like theyd gone their entire lives in pain & finding the proper bra was all they needed all of this time. It took some convincing on my dads part to finally get them to haul the distance to be fitted & then spend quite a bit of money on bras, but from what I've observed so far - they're all happy as can be.

Thanks again!

 

[Holly Doors]

I cant begin to tell you how much help youve been. I took the long route of mentioning proper bra sizes to my dad, to tell my mom, who passed it all through the family. My mom, grandma, great-grandma, aunts, cousins all drove the 3 hours to New Orleans where they could actually find someone who properly fit them & had their proper sizes.

I think it was almost emotional for my mom, aunts, grandma, etc - they felt like theyd gone their entire lives in pain & finding the proper bra was all they needed all of this time. It took some convincing on my dads part to finally get them to haul the distance to be fitted & then spend quite a bit of money on bras, but from what I've observed so far - they're all happy as can be.

Thanks again!

Glad to have been a help and sounds like they've gotten some great relief, yes bra's are certainly an expense but necessary for health x