Cheating

[helgaleena]

I stayed with a technical cheater only when he began to include me in his hookups. That ended when i finally had my own place and income stream.

I dropped a man like a hot brick when he confessed that he had been lusting after somebody else for a year and had finally slept with her. What bugs me is that I was rejecting other guys during that time only to stay 'faithful' when he was not even willing to screw anymore for no particular reason i could tell. Just though he'd come back around. What really made me feel like an idiot was how I couldn't tell he even had a problem with me.

I was willing to forgive the father of my child for trying to have sex with someone else when I was very pregnant, except that they put him in jail for it. That one was definitely out of my hands.

All three situations would have benefited from more honesty and open communication.

The sex in 'cheating' is not a problem; it can be pleasant. What hurts is the dishonesty. Without the deception, it's just another kink.

 

[MarkLondon]

I've never cheated when I've been involved in a monogamous relationship. I have though, when single, had sex with partnered men in sexless (or so they told me and I have no reason to disbelieve them) straight and gay relationships.

Quite fankly, I think I did both them and their partners a favour.

 

[theknob8]

My husband cheated on me, we are no longer together but we are still legally married... Ive even called the girl he was with and let her know he was married with kids the chick had nothing to say to me, it sucked because the whole time he was accusing me of cheating on him and all along he was the bastard out there doing his dirt!!!! Which blows my damn mind because who couldnt handle me in the bedroom, how the hell was he cheating on me?!!!! It shouldve been the other way around!!! Lesson learned Never trust a man, from now on i will stay single for the remainder of my life thanks to him!!!.

Don't let one douche ruin all men for u! We are all not that bad. What a shame. And that's what I've found. It seems like the partner that isnt as attractive as his/her counterpart is the one that ends up cheating. Probably has something to do with being really insecure.

 

[nubian]

I've been cheated on once. The girl and I had moved really fast, and near the beginning she cheated with her ex. So she wasn't completely in the wrong, but I am always loyal--especially physically. Its just the way I am, so I left and didn't regret a thing. I'm better than that, and I deserve better than that.

So well said. We have to know that we deserve better.

 

[Teb8807]

I had a girlfriend cheat on me and I could never get over it or trust her. It pretty much destroyed our relationship.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Have you ever had anyone cheat on you? Did you forgive them and stay with them? Dump them? How did it work out for you?

Every relationship I've ever been in, I've been cheated on. I gave each one of them a second chance. Unfortunately their cheating was repeated and I dumped them. Made me not trust anyone later in life.

 

[deleted627832]

I forgive my wife....

 

[Wirmboi]

Never had anyone cheat on me or visa versa... Though I kept my relationships minimal. For the most part i did not get involved sexually with peeps until I knew them before getting in a personal relationship. Usually takes 6 months to a year to feel comfortable before getting started, though once started nothing gets held back. )

You wonder wha? 6 months to a year!!! Well it means hanging out and seeing them be their selves with others, without being evolved with you.

Sounds odd, just that is how I go with starting a close relationship. Sounds a wee ol fashioned to some, as courting will wait for sex until much later.

That is pretty much how I am with my soul mate... it took 4 years to be fully sexual, as we never bothered with the physicals of our relationship. So, I guess we both be odd peeps made for each other.

Oh by the way, I never had a close relationship from a sexual encounter, as sex without emotional connection is just sex. Nope, I didn't say not having an emotional connection with sex is not cheating. )~

 

[BBB2.5]

It amazes me that people today are so easy to forgive a selfish cheater. There is no excuse period. I have been on the end of a cheater. He was my first boyfriend, my first sexual partner, my first everything. This is a long story, but here it the footnote to it:

We had been together for 7 years... he started cheating on me somewhere around our 4th year. I was not aware of this until we moved into our 7th year. How I found out was thru a blood test...he had giving me HIV. I went into in the hospital that very same week. I was extremely sick and nearly died. Once I was healthy I left him. He is dead now and I am here telling my story...that was 20 years ago.

 

[OhWiseOne]

My experience involved something I never expected. Our sex was good from what I could tell. Starting seeing signs that over time began to added up. Come to find out she was having sex with another woman, go figure. Let just say talk about punching a guy in the gut. I was very angry for a couple of years after that showing little or no respect for women but that eventually passed and I moved on.
I excepted what happened as it was out of my control and stayed friends with her parents.
What really got me after all this came out was that our mutual friends knew of her past and tendencies and no one ever gave me a heads up. That hurt just as much as her cheating.

 

[twoton]

#1- to fuck every single one of your friends behind your back , to get even ..

I had a g.f. who did this to her ex. She told me about it early in our relationship as a warning. The actual break up came after she was finished. Only one of his buddies was "loyal" enough to not do it.

I've been cheated on by a g.f. and it really upset me. Maybe I'm a swinger at heart because what bothered me most was the secrecy and lies, not the actual sex. I have a feeling if she would have been open about it I would have been tolerant and maybe we could have explored the possibilities

I have never "cheated." The most I did was a one-time make-out with a girl in the very beginning of one particular relationship.

 

[charamyn]

As far as I know, I was cheated once. That happened 4 years ago and we are still together. I have never regretted for forgiving her, but again there were so many factors and it is quite specific situation.

In short - she went with her girlfriends on a trip for a weekend. There were also some guys with them, although I didn't know that at the time and I never suspected a thing. Few months after that, completely by accident I ran across the photographs from that trip. Besides the shock when I saw that there were other guys with them, what devastated me is when I saw two guys squeezing her ass in shorts and one where she is massaging a guy just in her thongs and bra. I was wrecked, but since we were already 5 years in relationship and I did some stupid things before (which I'm not proud of), decided to forgive her.

 

[rbkwp]

think i will try to work out a nice way to cheat, without hurting?
starting to think it aint all that bad?? haha
long as you dont get caught
wonder how many have/are, doing that now
and have been doing since time immemorial, as THEY say/or wont say

 

[B_Nicodemous]

I've never cheated when I've been involved in a monogamous relationship. I have though, when single, had sex with partnered men in sexless (or so they told me and I have no reason to disbelieve them) straight and gay relationships.

Quite fankly, I think I did both them and their partners a favour.

You and I are two of the same. Are you sure you are not me, cuz that was what I was going to write! lol

Now have I been cheated on? yep. The sex part of it didn't bug me. People have urges and drives and desires. If I can't satisfy all of them, then I am not one to make the other person suffer. The thing is we started as an open relationship, moved to a mono one (per his request) he cheated so we opened it up (as long as we played together) he cheated we opened it further (we needed to tell each other) to back to mono, to him wanting me to me with him, and he got to play (wasn't happening). What had irked me was that he knew darn well I was fine with an open relationship, and felt the need to screw around behind back.

What bugged me was the he fell out of love and was emotionally cheating on me later. They never did have sex, even after he and I broke up. THAT was the final straw.

 

[kaaza]

Last year I found out that my boyfriend was talking to other guys.. and even sexting and sending nudes.
at first he said it was just a talk and he would never do the “act”.. that he was bored..
I forgave that..
I don’t keep watching his phone, but a few months later I found out that he was doing it again with someone from another country.
Again. He first denied and then apologized.
I’m very disappointed and I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or it’s just another lie.
I lost my trust in him

 

[kaaza]

Last year I found out that my boyfriend was talking to other guys.. and even sexting and sending nudes.
at first he said it was just a talk and he would never do the “act”.. that he was bored..
I forgave that..
I don’t keep watching his phone, but a few months later I found out that he was doing it again with someone from another country.
Again. He first denied and then apologized.
I’m very disappointed and I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or it’s just another lie.
I lost my trust in him

We’ve been together for 3 years in a non-opened relationship

 

[Tactfulgal]

Cheating is a symptom of something seriously wrong in a relationship.

This. Which is why cheating is so damaging. It's not only that there's a betrayal of trust, but it's also a way to avoid dealing with the actual issue in the relationship.
To answer the OP's question, I've never cheated and as far as I know I've never been cheated on. And it's very hard for me to imagine staying with someone once there's been that kind of lie. It would change my view of the person they are. It's a character issue.

 

[erpap]

Last year I found out that my boyfriend was talking to other guys.. and even sexting and sending nudes.
at first he said it was just a talk and he would never do the “act”.. that he was bored..
I forgave that..
I don’t keep watching his phone, but a few months later I found out that he was doing it again with someone from another country.
Again. He first denied and then apologized.
I’m very disappointed and I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he’s telling the truth or it’s just another lie.
I lost my trust in him

Trust is hard to regain

 

[sodominsane]

Cheating is a symptom of something seriously wrong in a relationship.

.

Where is this etched in stone

I can think of a few perfectly fine relationships where some cheating has gone one

I’m also a very not judgmental guy so people share a ton with me. Plus used to have a occupation where I was got a lot of trusted info (doctor)

there is a lot more cheating going on then you think. And a lot of ....cognitive dissidence....
“I’ve never cheated “
“ what about billy”
“ that doesn’t count because.....insert reason....”
A. I was drunk
B we were on break
C it was a war zone halfway around the world
D. It’s was just a kiss/bj /handy etc.
E... I’ve heard tons they go on forever.... to include just plain not remembering

so much cheating goes on... you would also be shocked at how many kids have different fathers than they thought

people report that about 13 percent of women have cheated on a spouse

30 percent reported by men

but ....... paternity result say different (estimates between 9 and 30 percent(disclaimer that old data from my medical school days...but my experiences.... seems right)

and that doesn’t even include all the fucks, bj, and handjobs that don’t result in pregnancy

and don’t forget the super popular topic on this site.... married men who are not gay but use a cocksucker????!!!! Wtf btw

lots and lots of cheating

 

[DavidAlmeria]

Who decided that monogamy should be the norm ?