Coming out to your wife

1

18134

Guest
I’d like to read about the experiences of married men who have come out as bisexual to their wives. How, and under what circumstances, did you have that conversation? What did you say? How did she react? How did it affect your marriage and sex life? What came of your admission? I think sharing these experiences will give support and guidance to many men like me who are coming to terms within marriage of an undeniable attraction to other men. Please share.
 

TobiasTalon70

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 4, 2016
Posts
52
Media
35
Likes
1,070
Points
218
Location
Raleigh (North Carolina, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Man. That’s a lot of questions. I came out as bisexual to my wife a little over a year ago. At first, she didn’t know what to think. I think she went through some denial. But she gradually came around to the idea and is cool with it now. It didn’t affect our sex lives at all. Well, except I now get with a guy on the side too.
 
1

18134

Guest
Man. That’s a lot of questions. I came out as bisexual to my wife a little over a year ago. At first, she didn’t know what to think. I think she went through some denial. But she gradually came around to the idea and is cool with it now. It didn’t affect our sex lives at all. Well, except I now get with a guy on the side too.
Is that an arrangement you have with her, or is it secret?
 
  • Like
Reactions: bimalesurfer

latinluva

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Posts
1,783
Media
221
Likes
14,896
Points
543
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I told my wife months before I married her. I din't want to go into the marriage with any secrets. We'd been together for 7 years already. Her reaction, she cried and thought I wanted to leave her for a man. I assured her that I was super happy with her and had no interest in any one else. She asked me so many questions over the following months. What kinda stuff have I done with a man? You ever had a boyfriend (Yes)? Were you the receiver of anal? Did you let him cum inside of you? Then she kept asking me,"Do you think he is cute?" I had to sit her down and tell her to relax. Anyways I informed her that if she ever had the urge or curiosity to be with another man, it would be super hot to do that with her and another man. So far she has told me that she has no desire to have another man inside of her. When we fuck I tell her things like,"Wouldn't it be nice to feel another mans cock inside of you?" and "Every girl wants a black dick to fill her pussy up...a nice big cock to ride". She goes crazy, so I hope one day we both can enjoy another man in our bedroom.
 

X rated

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Feb 19, 2018
Posts
97
Media
18
Likes
1,965
Points
218
Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
My wife knows now and while
It is still a tough road for us, I think we will be ok. I only want to be with her. In a way, maybe she can be flattered as I have twice the pool to choose from and I choose her. Most don't get it, that just because I may have some bi desires doesn't mean I want to get with every guy I see, the same as I don't want to get with every woman I see.
 

ManchesterTom

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Posts
1,010
Media
31
Likes
1,533
Points
443
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
Wish I knew how to tell her, would be like taking a ton of bricks off my chest. I`m desiring other men more and more
In my opinion, It might be unkind to tell her, because the bricks could be transferred from your chest to her chest. Frankly it's not her burden to carry. You could just find that the burden is too much for her to fully understand or cope with, and she could land up heading for the hills. I wish you luck and happiness.
 
6

622675

Guest
My wife knows now and while
It is still a tough road for us, I think we will be ok. I only want to be with her. In a way, maybe she can be flattered as I have twice the pool to choose from and I choose her. Most don't get it, that just because I may have some bi desires doesn't mean I want to get with every guy I see, the same as I don't want to get with every woman I see.

You have a very interesting story to tell. However most of the questions that come to mind make me feel like I am prying. But this is LPSG so here goes anyhow.

From the perspective of a bystander, the way you used your married buddy and the way you are currently using your wife have a lot in common.

You leveraged your married buddy for you own needs, and then dropped him. You then dumped your M/M history on to your wife and she went from no sex to accommodating sex. So right now you don’t know why, nor do you seem to care, why she has resumed having sex.

Basically she has been left with the challenge of understanding your needs and playing some form of the same “bitch” role you had going with your buddy.

You admit to cheating, but what I haven’t heard is any emotional responsibility (and empathy) from you for either your buddy or your wife.

Without more information the term, “sexual strip-miner” comes to mind.
 

X rated

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Feb 19, 2018
Posts
97
Media
18
Likes
1,965
Points
218
Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
I didn't share the entire story as it wouldn't be appropriate to do so, or respectful to her. However, I fully know why my wife and I are 'reconciling.'

You are correct that it is a tremendous challenge for her to understand why I felt so compelled to start meeting up with guys, why it continued, and why I got deeper into it and more open to things. However, you are incorrect that she is playing a bitch role, or that I have no empathy for her.

I worship my wife. The greatest pain I have is that I have hurt this woman. That she has the capacity to work past all this and to accept it is beyond my understanding. She is the sexiest, most awesome and intelligent woman I've ever been with and I am grateful beyond belief that not only do I have a chance to save this marriage but also that together we can build an amazing future.

Regarding that dude, yeah I had to abruptly end it, and how this all went down I needed to cut off communication immediately. I didn't even tell him what was going on...he just never heard from me again. I'm sure he's tried to email me but the account is closed. Yeah, I feel bad about that, but not bad enough to reach out to him for explanation and risk what I now once again have with my woman.

Did I leverage him? Maybe only in the sense that I guided him down the path from wanting to suck dick to being a total cocksucker. This was not a one-way deal...he got exactly what he craved - hot dominant dick turning him submissive and eager to serve.

But that was then...it's no longer in me to play that role. All energy and passion is now directed only to my wife where it should always have stayed, regardless of the marital difficulties that triggered my own actions.
 

balls2go2

Experimental Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Mar 16, 2007
Posts
16
Media
0
Likes
10
Points
473
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
20 years ago my wife came home unexpectedly and I was fucking a dildo. I was really embarrassed and then led to a discussion that was painful as we had been married 25yrs. This had been my long held secret and I had only rarely acted on my desires, always with a lot of guilt.
Her reaction was anger, feeling deprived of my honesty and went into a an intense depression for which she was treated. I said that if it continued to be too painful we should separate but it never came to that. We continued to have a sexual relationship, love each other and Enjoy our relationship and friendships with our straight, we think couples. I am not out to anyone except my wife or the men I sometimes have relationships with.
We have a good life together, she will occasionally make remarks about my bi interests and she is accepting of my going for massages without further details being discussed.
So here we are so many years later with a comfortable acceptance. If I had been born at a different time I think my life would have taken a different direction but that is water under the bridge at this stage in my life.
 

Bittydrew

Legendary Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2016
Posts
516
Media
7
Likes
1,549
Points
213
Location
Lincoln
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Female
Many of us don't know this till its too late I didn't know till I got curious with the strap on thing guess we started it then cause I got curious what a real one would feel like love anal play and went from there think she knows and now we have no sex at all which is bad for us she won't do a thing now guess she's alright with that but not me
 

Bittydrew

Legendary Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2016
Posts
516
Media
7
Likes
1,549
Points
213
Location
Lincoln
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Female
I've tried to talk to her about things she avoids it all the time guess she don't mind not having sex but on my end my sex drive is still strong were with each other every day no break from each other at all
 

SouthPole

Superior Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2017
Posts
329
Media
4
Likes
4,475
Points
313
Location
California (United States)
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
My girlfriend & I went to the nude beach on Maui ( we often go to Black's Beach here in San Diego together) and there was a single guy there, middle-aged, who had a huge, beautiful uncut dick (and he KNEW it!). When we went back to our condo we had great sex (with me imagining us sharing that big cock!)

I asked her later if she'd seen him & she denied noticing him .... (REALLY?!?!?) I told her how big & literally attractive it was and how I'd wanted to touch it. All she said was "That's gross!" .... So, yeah, no .... I won't be sharing any more of my cock-curious fantasies with her .... Too bad too 'cuz I know she likes a nice dick. She just doesn't know how much I would like to experiement, as well!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gj816 and lpimp

X rated

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Feb 19, 2018
Posts
97
Media
18
Likes
1,965
Points
218
Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
They do think differently sometimes. I didn't tell my wife my desire to try different things as she gave me all indications she only was interested in what I would call vanilla sex. Years of slowly drifting apart. And I endulged myself without involving her as I didn't want to hurt her and she had a front of being intolerant. Turns out, guess what, she had a vast history of experimentation and only acted intolerant to me as she didn't want to scare me off with how far she'd go and what she'd do. If you wanna suck dick, tell her you are occasionally wondering why some guys do that and why women want it, and not that you necessarily would ever but maybe you're curious. Open up a little more to her. If that becomes explosive when you share some deeper feelings then maybe there are other issues with that relationship.