Coming out to your wife

[elklindoxxx]

I'm not married, but at the time I came out to my girlfriend at the time, and she was totally bewildered. I'll never forget when she said to me....you fuck guys in the ass?

After that, we drifted apart and later broke up. So I would be careful who you share information with.

 

[myhappypants]

About 2 months ago my wife of 20 years and I after enjoying 420 had a long conversation about intimacy in our marriage which had been lacking for better than 12 years out of those 20 because of rejection issues health issues ED issues etc. well we had agreed to have kind of an open relationship type thing she gets to go out and go for round with guys as long as she doesn’t have a problem find you so she’s been trying to support that my problem is that we said we would find time for each other and all of this as well and it’s been six weeks and she’s been going to another man is satisfying his needs on a weekly basis because he now her regular and she called him. I’m getting very hurt over the fact that she’s giving herself to another man and leaving me out in that group or anything like that but not wanting to take time for me and I’m Her husband and yes I am still attracted to her in a major way emotionally and physically but she seems to show nothing for me at all and I don’t think it has a lot to do with the bisexual thing either because this type of a thing existed for quite a while with us. Should I feel hurt by the fact tha her husband and yes I am still attracted to her in a major way emotionally and physically but she seems to show nothing for me at all and I don’t think it has a lot to do with bisexual thing either because this type of thing existed for quite a while with us.
Should I be hurt by the fact that she won’t come to me intimately but she has no problem going to some other man intimately when I am still very attracted to her and make it obvious that I want to be with her that way help me out please I’m going crazy

 

[myhappypants]

Thank you I have already have begun manscaping and she has noticed I trim down my thick leg hair making them look slim and I think she likes it

 

[facial_addict]

My girlfriend, who will in all likelihood be my wife, does not know. It's ironic--she's extremely sexual and she's open minded enough to be in the lifestyle together, but she would never be accepting of me playing with other guys. She sucks other guys' cocks while I watch, has threesomes with me, etc. But when it comes to MM play, she's disgusted at the thought. I've asked (framed it as kind of a joke), "What if I wanted a guy to cum on my face?" She was repulsed and said that it would mean I was gay and our relationship would be over. I hate being dishonest, but I would never want to lose her. She's the best woman I've ever been with.

 

[1206560]

I've been with my girlfriend for two years. I told her on our first date that I was bi. I also told her without telling her that if that was a problem, then we were a problem. I can't say there haven't been some bumps in the road--at first she wanted me to tell her before I met with a buddy (I'm really selective and safe and non-promiscuous with guys) and then, after I told her it felt like I was filing a report or submitting an application, she eased up on that and said she wanted to know, generally, if I had a friend or not. We're long distance, which helps. We're committed, but we've no interest in living together. I think if we lived together it would have been harder, as I might have ended up lying to her and I've never lied to her. She thinks it's hot, my being with a guy, and has asked for videos of me giving head (I complied with her request) which she watches when we're apart and sometimes when we're together. She is the third woman I've been with in a row who thought m2m sex was hot. I was married to a woman who knew I was bi but didn't want me to act on it. That marriage ended years ago and while I understand not wanting to mess up good thing and am not judgmental about people's situations (my "buddy" is married and his wife has no idea) I just can't be in a relationship where I have to hide who I am and what I like.

I've found, quite a few times with quite a few women, that even if they don't want to know about it or don't think it's a turn-on, they accept it. Maybe it's because I like free-thinking liberal women. I don't know. I just know that secrets, while hot, are not that good for me.

Good luck with your girlfriend.

 

[Edger4Ever]

This is a very interesting subject. It was about 1999 or 2000 when I got caught, not in the act, but plenty of evidence. I was looking at porn and my wife found out and went through my gym bag. I had a straight dvd but titled ‘Big Cocks’. She also found a phone number of a guy I hooked up with. We sucked each other off. I confessed and she totally freaked out. I tried to explain that I wasn’t gay. To make a long story short I haven’t sucked cock since. I miss it! I love cock and cum. I loved that cock pulsating in my mouth tasting a mouth full of cum. I love seeing a cock dripping with cum!

 

[Oztrich]

I tried to come out to my wife before we were married, but she said she already knew. She was dating another guy when we met and having regular sex with him. Sex with her after she has seen him was incredible and I did nothing to discourage her from seeing him. She told me it was obvious to her that I was bisexual. It has never ever been a problem or an issue.

 

[masonjames]

It's not always cut and dried. I was in my 50's when I gave in to my bi sexual desires. By that time I had grown children, who would have been crushed, as she would. I feel guilty but I figure the pain it would cause my family, extended family , and others would not be worth it. I'm 69 now so what would be gained by telling her at this point in my life? To each his own and if you can tell her then by all means do. That's just not my situation

 

[diver6]

I opened up to my wife about my past when younger and told her everything I did, which was a lot. It was all before I meet her. She was ok with it as it was the past and she knows what we have now. She was ok with it but she's a great girl like that.

 

[stud23nyc]

My girlfriend, who will in all likelihood be my wife, does not know. It's ironic--she's extremely sexual and she's open minded enough to be in the lifestyle together, but she would never be accepting of me playing with other guys. She sucks other guys' cocks while I watch, has threesomes with me, etc. But when it comes to MM play, she's disgusted at the thought. I've asked (framed it as kind of a joke), "What if I wanted a guy to cum on my face?" She was repulsed and said that it would mean I was gay and our relationship would be over. I hate being dishonest, but I would never want to lose her. She's the best woman I've ever been with.

guess she doesnt know that you're on this site?

 

[facial_addict]

guess she doesnt know that you're on this site?

No

 

[Bittydrew]

Really wish I could but like I've said how do you tell your wife of 30 years you like to suck cocks and getting fucked? Kind of hard to bring that up in a conversation..

 

[thongboy]

I decided before I was 20 that with any serious relationship, I had to be honest. I'm not talking about a casual date. I'm talking about situations where something good was happening with the girl I was seeing and probably fucking. Secrets are always bad in any relationship so there was always a point where I had to say that I liked guys too. One chick was so disgusted that she said she never wanted to see me again. Another one was fascinated, and quizzed me about what gay dudes did to each other, and she was clearly turned on by what I told her — but she had no interest in an MMF 3 way. Another one who I really liked tried to come to terms with it, and finally said she was sorry but we should stop seeing each other. My current gf is bi, which makes things a lot easier, and its a fabulous relationship. But we have one rule — it may be an open relationship but we never lie to each other or keep secrets from each other. Trust is pretty important.

 

[Bittydrew]

I decided before I was 20 that with any serious relationship, I had to be honest. I'm not talking about a casual date. I'm talking about situations where something good was happening with the girl I was seeing and probably fucking. Secrets are always bad in any relationship so there was always a point where I had to say that I liked guys too. One chick was so disgusted that she said she never wanted to see me again. Another one was fascinated, and quizzed me about what gay dudes did to each other, and she was clearly turned on by what I told her — but she had no interest in an MMF 3 way. Another one who I really liked tried to come to terms with it, and finally said she was sorry but we should stop seeing each other. My current gf is bi, which makes things a lot easier, and its a fabulous relationship. But we have one rule — it may be an open relationship but we never lie to each other or keep secrets from each other. Trust is pretty important.

Kind of hard to tell someone when at the time you didn't know you was.....

 

[facial_addict]

Kind of hard to tell someone when at the time you didn't know you was.....

Very true. I had had fantasies for years about sucking another guy's cock and taking a facial, but had never done anything with another guy when I met my current girlfriend. I introduced her to facials and she's turned into a total cum slut. After watching her take facials from a bunch of different guys, I finally couldn't resist my urges anymore and found a guy to give me a facial. Of course, that led to me giving head a couple times. That would be a difficult conversation to have.

 

[Bittydrew]

I'm not married, but at the time I came out to my girlfriend at the time, and she was totally bewildered. I'll never forget when she said to me....you fuck guys in the ass?

After that, we drifted apart and later broke up. So I would be careful who you share information with.

Yeah at this point since were not having sex for 10 years really getting to the point that I don't care if she knows or not to me its very private part of me I really don't want to share with her you could fuck me in the ass anytime you want to

 

[maxmax25]

I told my wife months before I married her. I din't want to go into the marriage with any secrets. We'd been together for 7 years already. Her reaction, she cried and thought I wanted to leave her for a man. I assured her that I was super happy with her and had no interest in any one else. She asked me so many questions over the following months. What kinda stuff have I done with a man? You ever had a boyfriend (Yes)? Were you the receiver of anal? Did you let him cum inside of you? Then she kept asking me,"Do you think he is cute?" I had to sit her down and tell her to relax. Anyways I informed her that if she ever had the urge or curiosity to be with another man, it would be super hot to do that with her and another man. So far she has told me that she has no desire to have another man inside of her. When we fuck I tell her things like,"Wouldn't it be nice to feel another mans cock inside of you?" and "Every girl wants a black dick to fill her pussy up...a nice big cock to ride". She goes crazy, so I hope one day we both can enjoy another man in our bedroom.

Hey, about the same for me, I told here after 2years just before we got married.
I tokk a while, but she understood, that have choosen her out of both sexes ;-) - and that being bi does not mean fucking around all the time. The same monogamous rules apply for girls and guys in my view.

So far she is cool with it, we even sometimes turn around for the same ass...

And same I try to convince her that MMF could maybe be some fun

@latinluva : did you make some progress in that respect?

 

[maxmax25]

My wife knows now and while
It is still a tough road for us, I think we will be ok. I only want to be with her. In a way, maybe she can be flattered as I have twice the pool to choose from and I choose her. Most don't get it, that just because I may have some bi desires doesn't mean I want to get with every guy I see, the same as I don't want to get with every woman I see.

HI, its exactly as you have put it down ;-)

 

[MilfBanger78]

I'm not married, but at the time I came out to my girlfriend at the time, and she was totally bewildered. I'll never forget when she said to me....you fuck guys in the ass?

After that, we drifted apart and later broke up. So I would be careful who you share information with.

Totally agree. Not married here but when i date a chick I let it be known from the start Im a freak. Not bi, cuz I'd never date a guy but I like to play with a hung guy here or there. But when you're in a long term relationship Sometimes its best to just keep stuff to yourself. Not to mention the fact that if u have mutual friends and the relationship goes bad, she might get spiteful and share ur secrets etc. Theres still a stigma on guy-guy action no matter how PC the media likes to act

 

[fuckyeah]

So going on being married 25 years here (anniversary in June). Last week, all hell broke loose in our house. After discovering I’d had been to masseurs, she found a text message from a guy I hooked up with. To say it has been a shock to her is an understatement. She has had all kinds of questions asking about specifics about what happened in my hookups. Who were these people I was hooking up with? Why? Why men? Why am I not enough? What did you do? Did you have anal sex? Did you touch each other? Did you kiss? Did you like it? We’re you attracted to these people? Did you think about me while you did it? It’s been an absolute nightmare for both of us. At 51, this is not how I’d imagined my life to be. And yet it is. I started experimenting with men mostly out of realizing the clock is ticking. I hit 50 and basically lost my mind. Along with the suppression of the pandemic, I started reaching out (in many different ways) to people in general. I’d always, however, had this nagging itch to be with a man - to know what it was like to make love to a man. I’d been attracted to dudes (as well as women), but never thought I’d do anything about it. That all changed with a massage last summer in which rubbing turned to cock sucking. I left that massage feeling ashamed and yet liberated. Several massages (and hookups) later, I started to feel empty. While the chase and novelty of it all was exciting, it always left me feeling like none of the risk was worth it. Deep inside I love my wife dearly and while I obviously hurt her deeply, I know that it wasn’t intentional. We both have a lot of work to do on healing our relationship, but if there is one thing I’ve learned for myself is that worse than the acts of betrayal is the lies and deceit that I built to cover it up. That, in her opinion, is what bothers her most. I get that. But she also knows that for me the story is more complicated than just my sexuality. I’m dealing with past sexual abuse in my childhood and a history of anxiety, depression and ADHD. My mother and father in law passed this year. My parents are in failing health. I’m having a mid life crisis, and trying to accept a part of myself I’ve known for a long time but never had to face. They say things happen for a reason. I just hope this the beginning of a new chapter.