Contacting Past Lover

[Jasonhill924]

Need advice.. wife and I been together since 1996, in 1998 I went to bootcamp and 2 weeks after I left she was hooking up with friend of a friend. She kept that secret for over 20yrs. But since then about 10 yrs ago we have "open" marriage and got into hotwife/cuckolding. This past year she addmited to cheating with the friend back in 1998 to about 2002. I love it. I even posted in the stories forum section. Well even more recently he texted me for business help. I've never spoke with him via text or even back in the day. Been texting often to help him out now tho. I want to let him know I am aware of what happened many years ago and that we are open to him being her bull now.

How do I approach that in a text or should I not?

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I have no idea, because my relationship is nothing like yours.

 

[EllieP]

A whole lot to unpack there, and I'm not equipped to do it. I'll only say if you want closure or pleasure or whatever to do what you want.

But be aware that this is 20-year-old history to him, and you probably have no idea of his current state in life or how he would handle that information.

How is he going to perceive it? An invitation? Blackmail?

 

[Mzseduction]

That’s a cool story.. I liked that fact that you loved it when she admitted to what she’d done years ago.. that’s a long time to keep a secret and nice that you accepted it so well..

Have you asked your wife what she thinks about you sharing the information with him?
Why doesn’t she just tell him that you know what went on between them and that you’re ok with it..

As for as the bull thing..well I agree with @EllieP he could be in a totally different place now.. I think I’d leave that part alone for awhile.. maybe see where he’s at sexually first..

 

[LaFemme]

Yeah, I got nothing. Best I can say is the past is usually best left in the past. Bringing it into the now can be very complicated.

 

[MickeyLee]

If any given scenario reads like a porn script on paper it's probably best to think it over several times before taking any action.

Does the idea make your dick happy? Spank bank it.

Old relationships are usually past tense for a reason. If you want to open up to a new partner someone without history with either of you is best.

 

[TinyPrincess]

No idea. Not something I have experience in or opinions on

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Not. If your partner is interested, let it be her who approaches him.
And even then, I lean to”not.”

 

[Jasonhill924]

Yes wife wants him still. I'm not sure on his current situation and desires. I think as of now it might be best to give it time and see if anything plays out or more information surfaces.

Thank you all for advice. Much love and appreciation

 

[Scarletbegonia]

You say you are open.
Open couples I’ve known (versus poly) have strategies in place to keep emotions in check.
Going back to 20 years ago suggests some feeling.

 

[Jasonhill924]

You say you are open.
Open couples I’ve known (versus poly) have strategies in place to keep emotions in check.
Going back to 20 years ago suggests some feeling.

No feelings. Even all the time they hooked up, there was no emotions, just pure sex. She enjoyed his dominance and trusted him. Yes she still wants him. She prefers sex with a man she knows and trust, not some random guy

 

[Holly Doors]

Need advice.. wife and I been together since 1996, in 1998 I went to bootcamp and 2 weeks after I left she was hooking up with friend of a friend. She kept that secret for over 20yrs. But since then about 10 yrs ago we have "open" marriage and got into hotwife/cuckolding. This past year she addmited to cheating with the friend back in 1998 to about 2002. I love it. I even posted in the stories forum section. Well even more recently he texted me for business help. I've never spoke with him via text or even back in the day. Been texting often to help him out now tho. I want to let him know I am aware of what happened many years ago and that we are open to him being her bull now.

How do I approach that in a text or should I not?

Messaged you x

 

[neutrno]

Need advice.. wife and I been together since 1996, in 1998 I went to bootcamp and 2 weeks after I left she was hooking up with friend of a friend. She kept that secret for over 20yrs. But since then about 10 yrs ago we have "open" marriage and got into hotwife/cuckolding. This past year she addmited to cheating with the friend back in 1998 to about 2002. I love it. I even posted in the stories forum section. Well even more recently he texted me for business help. I've never spoke with him via text or even back in the day. Been texting often to help him out now tho. I want to let him know I am aware of what happened many years ago and that we are open to him being her bull now.

How do I approach that in a text or should I not?

If you and your wife are into this, why not? But wouldn't a call be better than a text?