I’ve been married for over 40 years and although my wife and I still love each other very much we haven’t had a physically intimate relationship for 8 years. Well, the first four it was in severe decline and the last four it been dead. I have basically been binned out for the trash collector. Our fatality came at the hands of menopause.
My drive hasn’t weakened at all. In actuality I think it is higher because before our sex would satiate my hunger significantly for a while. With that off the table I haven’t deprioritized sex or become asexual at all.
My method of maintaining my sanity is very simply masterbation, porn, and a vivid imagination. Over the years I’ve also found a few wonderful female friends to talk to and that has been very nice but eventually it dies off. I’m likely too tedious. I understand completely.
The idea of considering a male comes from the idea of being with someone as hungry or more so than me. When you are abandoned intimately it leaves you to question everything about yourself no matter how good and kind you have been. The idea of someone….anyone wanting you and even taking you can fuel some serious fantasies that the abandonment helped create.
Also in my own experience, I find I have to change my masterbatory fantasies and porn pretty often because they get a bit tired quickly.
Yes, I could leave. The thing is I understand there is much more to my marriage than the sex. Yes, I do talk to other women and yes, it is emotional cheating but that is as far as it goes. My wife has been there for me when I needed her most and even though we are way way far from perfect I want to leave this world a good man.
For what it’s worth.
