Crush on new classmate

[rooo003]

Crush on new classmate

hi, i have a problem that i would like to find the solution. first my mother tongue is french, so sorry if i made mistakes. well, i am a 21 year old student, there is this boy who is new in class he arrived on wednesday. he sat right in front of me. i find him rather handsome and i have a bit of a crush on him.

we started to chat about everything and nothing then he asked me if i had a girlfriend i said no and we continued the discussion. i find him a bit effeminate. i took his number since i am the class representative and i had to introduce him to the class forum.

thursday after coming home from school i send him by whatsapp the lessons we had already had to do since he is late, so we start to chat again, our conversation is really fluid and it seems like we knew each other since we have the same vibe and on the same wavelength.

he asks me why I don't have a girlfriend and I tell him that it's simply because I can't find one that I like, from there we start talking only about sex, he tells me that he's a big fuckboy and that he has a bodycount of over 50, then he asks me if he can ask me an indiscreet question, I say yes and I'm already expecting the fateful question. he asks me if I'm attracted to men, I procrastinate (since it's a rather frowned upon subject here) then I end up answering yes and I ask if he is too. he tells me no that he's only straight but that he has no problem with gays since his little brother is gay himself.

so he starts asking me questions about my sex life like if I'm B or T, my flirtations with guys... I remember that we started talking at 7pm and it was already midnight, so I stop the conversation by telling him that I'm sleepy, tomorrow at school and ask him to delete our messages and he says no problem.

now the problem is that I still have a crush on him and I don't believe him when he says he's only straight, when we talk face to face our looks are really deep, I searched his friends list and he follows hot girls as well as hot boys who are definitely gay. after all it's only been three days that we've known each other I could be wrong. how should I behave in front of him at school and by message. He's 24 by the way.

 

[Ernestoteles]

Crushes are a very positive thing, they tell us about our preferences, which we can then analyse in more detail and take into account for our further search.

i find him a bit effeminate.

The sexual behaviour of men who are more feminine is not automatically bisexual or homosexual. Most of these men are well-behaved heterosexuals and can be found in every family and everywhere. Unfortunately, they are often suspected of being homosexual. For example, when there were three of us living together, the only heterosexual who was somewhat feminine was considered a possible homosexual by those around him. The good thing about more feminine men is that they are usually less narrow-minded than ordinary men and, like women, more agreeable, so it is easy to talk to them about sexuality.

now the problem is that I still have a crush on him and I don't believe him when he says he’s only straight

It doesn’t matter what you think, the question you are asking yourself is whether he wants to interact with you sexually, and that depends on how attractive you are to him. It is probably easier for you to hear that he is not bisexual than it is to hear that he does not find you attractive.

If you are interested in him as a friend, you should refrain from sexual interaction because it doesn't go well with friendship. I would try to make him a friend, and if he has a lot of experience with women, you can benefit from his wealth of experience, and if he has a lot of experience with men, you can also benefit from that too.

But as I said, turning friends into lovers usually doesn’t work and leaves a bitter aftertaste.

In short, from my point of view, you don’t have a problem, you're in a very attractive situation. Make the best of it!

 

[rooo003]

Crushes are a very positive thing, they tell us about our preferences, which we can then analyse in more detail and take into account for our further search.



The sexual behaviour of men who are more feminine is not automatically bisexual or homosexual. Most of these men are well-behaved heterosexuals and can be found in every family and everywhere. Unfortunately, they are often suspected of being homosexual. For example, when there were three of us living together, the only heterosexual who was somewhat feminine was considered a possible homosexual by those around him. The good thing about more feminine men is that they are usually less narrow-minded than ordinary men and, like women, more agreeable, so it is easy to talk to them about sexuality.



It doesn’t matter what you think, the question you are asking yourself is whether he wants to interact with you sexually, and that depends on how attractive you are to him. It is probably easier for you to hear that he is not bisexual than it is to hear that he does not find you attractive.

If you are interested in him as a friend, you should refrain from sexual interaction because it doesn't go well with friendship. I would try to make him a friend, and if he has a lot of experience with women, you can benefit from his wealth of experience, and if he has a lot of experience with men, you can also benefit from that too.

But as I said, turning friends into lovers usually doesn’t work and leaves a bitter aftertaste.

In short, from my point of view, you don’t have a problem, you're in a very attractive situation. Make the best of it!

Thanks for the advice