So im very new to this website, and posting about the following is also a new one for me since its personal but i decided what the heck might as well try to see what others think about my sexuality as i am kinda confused and been confused. I guess im just looking to see what other people think if anyone even responds but here it goes.... my first ever crush was with a girl, i remember the moment i saw her i liked her and this was 1st grade. She was amazing and the most beautiful girl ive seen so i decided to talk to her and became friends with her till 6th grade still crushing at her. Bc i hung out with her a lot and her friends which were girls i never really got along with the guys in my grade so at a certain point (6th grade) they started assuming i was gay and calling me gay. Which i felt uncomfortable with and just hated it but at that point i started to feel kinda curious bout guys hearing it over and over again. Moving on to middle school i was called the same because i just felt like talking to girls was wayy easier haha. And ya i had some guy friends but they werent the primary people i hung out with. I am now 19 bout to turn 20 and fuck damn i am still so confused. I feel an attraction to guys but not just any guys its more like the straight looking ones, fantasizing about them every now and then gets me hard yet im conflicted because i see girls and i think they’re gorgeous and my interest fluctuates a whole lot. Specially now ive been feeling like i need a girl in my life, after trying grindr for a bit i have given up and just want a girl but im scared that I wont be able to get hard when it comes to getting down to business. Ive made out with both guys and girl (more guys than anything) but its confusing since when im with the guy im always excited at the start of texting them and sexting but a lot of the times when i actually meet them i loose interest and just cant get hard. Not all the time but 95% of it haha. Yet i still find myself checking guys out if i see them out at a bar or a frat or just out in general, but all of them are really straight usually. Ive always struggled with this side of me of liking guys, i hate it but i dont and living in California i know people are more open to it but fuck its made things so much harder. To a certain point im not so sure if this attraction is more my insecurities wanting to look like them or actually liking them and wanting to date them. (which is weird bc i consider myself good looking and girls have tried getting at me at parties but everyone has insecurities i guess) When i sext i tend to be more of the dom guy, im not the type of guy thats into drag or hanging with a group of gay guys and going to gay clubs not that i have anything against its just not so much my thing. Ill be attending USC and im a frat currently at UCLA. Sometimes im okay with considering myself bi but being a frat guy ive mostly had to hide this side of me and act completely straight. I know it sounds completely stupid but someone once told me that if u hear something being told to u over and over again u start believing it and i blame my curiosity on that. Which for me was being called gay bout 4 yrs all through middle school, in hs some thought i was gay but they all thought this bc i just talked to girls more than i did guys. I feel like ive been attracted to guys more than girls bc ive focused on trying to figure out what i feel for guys more than experimenting with girls but idk. Any thoughts would be appreciated, im an open book so ask me whatever haha willing to share any stories bout the guys/girls ive been with.
Curiosity is natural. And in this day and age easier to talk about, don't give yourself a hard time. Just see who you click with and don't label yourself just yet, you know in yourself who gets you excited, just take it from there . X
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You seem to be mixing a whole host of things up.
You can’t become gay (or bi curious) because you hear it again and again. You are what you are.
You don’t have to like camp guys, and guys in drag, or musicals, or cupcakes, or pink or whatever if you’re gay. Everyone has types. Some people like ginger, some Asian, some sporty, some hung like a horse. So the fact that you’re into certain “straight acting” types isn’t odd or proof you’re not gay or bi, it’s just normal.
While I’m mentioning bi, sexual attraction is a spectrum. Some people just like guys, some girls, some both. Some like girls only except guys which huge dicks, black skin and fat bellies. Celebrate your own likes.
Finally, erections are not a good judge of sexuality. You’ve got performance anxiety. You feel you have to be Dom and fuck (or at least on top) but because you’re nervous your dick isn’t behaving. And the. That makes you more nervous next time. There’s a million ways of helping with this. Look up ED online or talk to a doctor (believe me, they’ve seen it a million times before).
Calm down, stop over thinking. Enjoy all of the many different aspects of your sexuality. Don’t label yourself. Don’t judge yourself. Try stuff out and discover what makes you tick and you’ll have a great sex life with guys or girls or both for many years.
You can’t become gay (or bi curious) because you hear it again and again. You are what you are.
You don’t have to like camp guys, and guys in drag, or musicals, or cupcakes, or pink or whatever if you’re gay. Everyone has types. Some people like ginger, some Asian, some sporty, some hung like a horse. So the fact that you’re into certain “straight acting” types isn’t odd or proof you’re not gay or bi, it’s just normal.
While I’m mentioning bi, sexual attraction is a spectrum. Some people just like guys, some girls, some both. Some like girls only except guys which huge dicks, black skin and fat bellies. Celebrate your own likes.
Finally, erections are not a good judge of sexuality. You’ve got performance anxiety. You feel you have to be Dom and fuck (or at least on top) but because you’re nervous your dick isn’t behaving. And the. That makes you more nervous next time. There’s a million ways of helping with this. Look up ED online or talk to a doctor (believe me, they’ve seen it a million times before).
Calm down, stop over thinking. Enjoy all of the many different aspects of your sexuality. Don’t label yourself. Don’t judge yourself. Try stuff out and discover what makes you tick and you’ll have a great sex life with guys or girls or both for many years.
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I was always more comfortable talking to girls as. Friends. But was shy about a serious relationship. I was never feeling attracted to guys but did relate to them and felt more comfortable talking about sexuality stuff with guys. As I grew older I found a nice girl to settle down with . It is not always about the sex, but does influence. Not sure if that all makes sense.
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