Dating And Sex As A Passable Trans Woman With A Dick

[amirah]

I'm grateful to be able to transition and pass living as a woman in society, mind, and energy in my mid 20's.. But my problem is surrounded around the topic of sex. Men who go after me are the most sexually complex men ever. I genuinely feel like I'm never considered when it comes to my kinks, and most just either want to fuck or be fucked.

Don't get me wrong, I understand every transgender woman is different, but I love having my dick sucked and sucking someone's dick.. It's just that every guy I met who likes dick also wants his ass fucked, and that's one thing I cannot bring myself to do. Otherwise I'm a pretty kinky girl and okay with most other things. I just feel objectified regarding my "girl dick".. and not as a sexual woman.

When it comes to dating, I have to avoid men who ask me out in public because I don't want to go through the whole "I'm trans btw haha" stage, so I stick to online dating instead. (just left a 4 year relationship recently because i got cheated on lol). But now there is this close family friend who likes me and is asking me out.. Ughhh

Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I guess I'm wondering are there any guys who like trans women as people instead of seeing them as a sex toy with a dick stuck on them? Trans girls have kinks too you know. Also, sorry this is all over the place.. I'm in my rant mindset.

 

[jay4422]

Yes there are men out there for you! You just gotta filter the pervs out and those just looking to satisfy their fantasy. Just be open and honest about what you want. And believe me, every guy is not always lookin to be topped!

 

[amazzzed2]

I'm grateful to be able to transition and pass living as a woman in society, mind, and energy in my mid 20's.. But my problem is surrounded around the topic of sex. Men who go after me are the most sexually complex men ever. I genuinely feel like I'm never considered when it comes to my kinks, and most just either want to fuck or be fucked.

Don't get me wrong, I understand every transgender woman is different, but I love having my dick sucked and sucking someone's dick.. It's just that every guy I met who likes dick also wants his ass fucked, and that's one thing I cannot bring myself to do. Otherwise I'm a pretty kinky girl and okay with most other things. I just feel objectified regarding my "girl dick".. and not as a sexual woman.

When it comes to dating, I have to avoid men who ask me out in public because I don't want to go through the whole "I'm trans btw haha" stage, so I stick to online dating instead. (just left a 4 year relationship recently because i got cheated on lol). But now there is this close family friend who likes me and is asking me out.. Ughhh

Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I guess I'm wondering are there any guys who like trans women as people instead of seeing them as a sex toy with a dick stuck on them? Trans girls have kinks too you know. Also, sorry this is all over the place.. I'm in my rant mindset.

I'm sure that you will find the right person for you. Takes time for all of us.
You seem smart, and seem clear on what you do and don't want.
Glad you are here.

 

[marriedasian]

i have never personally dated or been with a transwoman however my wife is friends with a couple of mind-blowing beautiful transwomen that would pass without a doubt in public... almost surreal to be honest. the only thing that gave them away when i first met them was their voice. i find that transwomen have a unique and distinct voice frequency that gives them away, at least for me anyways. i've always enjoyed being around them as they act more feminine than most women i know and they are surely great eye candy nonetheless. i don't mind touching them nor them touching me, even the occasional kiss on the cheek and lips don't bother me. it's good times altogether.

to the OP, you're going to have to accept the fact that your pool of selection is going to be very, very small. i find that most men who are into trans women are either chasing a fetish (and just want to blow a load and go), very confused about their own sexuality and still in the "exploring" stage, grossly-sexually deviant (you want to stay away from these guys), or genuinely into and looking for a transwoman as a long-term partner.

your best bet is to be very specific on what you want and what you offer, period, and don't settle for anything less even at the cost of being alone and single for a while. he's out there somewhere, it's just gonna take time. your situation and who you are already puts you in the disadvantage of finding a good and stable partner. you're gonna have to be patient. your wants are too specific so you're gonna have to weed through the queue of men and find that perfect match, or get as close as possible.

if you are passable in public (body and voice), as well as carry your own against cis-women, then every guy who has any interest in a trans woman will be gunning for you which means you get the opportunity to choose and because of this, you should take full advantage to be picky and choose the best fitting guy to try out. even then it could still fall apart.

good luck.

 

[amirah]

i have never personally dated or been with a transwoman however my wife is friends with a couple of mind-blowing beautiful transwomen that would pass without a doubt in public... almost surreal to be honest. the only thing that gave them away when i first met them was their voice. i find that transwomen have a unique and distinct voice frequency that gives them away, at least for me anyways. i've always enjoyed being around them as they act more feminine than most women i know and they are surely great eye candy nonetheless. i don't mind touching them nor them touching me, even the occasional kiss on the cheek and lips don't bother me. it's good times altogether.

to the OP, you're going to have to accept the fact that your pool of selection is going to be very, very small. i find that most men who are into trans women are either chasing a fetish (and just want to blow a load and go), very confused about their own sexuality and still in the "exploring" stage, grossly-sexually deviant (you want to stay away from these guys), or genuinely into and looking for a transwoman as a long-term partner.

your best bet is to be very specific on what you want and what you offer, period, and don't settle for anything less even at the cost of being alone and single for a while. he's out there somewhere, it's just gonna take time. your situation and who you are already puts you in the disadvantage of finding a good and stable partner. you're gonna have to be patient. your wants are too specific so you're gonna have to weed through the queue of men and find that perfect match, or get as close as possible.

if you are passable in public (body and voice), as well as carry your own against cis-women, then every guy who has any interest in a trans woman will be gunning for you which means you get the opportunity to choose and because of this, you should take full advantage to be picky and choose the best fitting guy to try out. even then it could still fall apart.

good luck.

Thank you for this! I just left a 4 year relationship so I'm dipping into the "getting to know people" stage, but this gave me a good confidence boost.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Trans women are women.
And no woman has to do anything sexually they don’t wish to.

 

[halcyondays]

Objectify? Yes. Presume that going on a date means I/we are are gonna do it? No.

Qualifier. It's not subconscious or unconscious objectification. It's active. Just not presumptive.

Same goes for anyone I find attractive.

 

[Electric blue]

I was told by a few girls here that it takes a very special person to love and want to be with a trans person , male or female , As I see it , society's norms fall short on humans no matter who They are ,what they are or how they live , The " taboo" that hangs over a transing person can be very hurtful and painful , My girl friend had the shit kicked out of her and beat half to death ,why?? The 3 ass holes thought she was a gender woman , then found out after ripping clothes off , My anger is still in
Well I won't put in print what I want to do..
We have been together for sex years , and to us ,, were just like any couple out there , nothing odd , nothing strange
Nothing weird , after these years together I don't see her as a girl with extra parts ,She's 100% woman and she deathly afraid of full commitment lololol . I saw my first transgender woman while I was in Thailand , in the 70 s.... It's like eating potato chips
Can't have just one. And there guys out there , honest and giving trying to build up the nerve to ask...
" Would you like to dance"" Or " you look very nice today's" ,,, girls who or what or if they stand or sit to pee ,, wanted to be treated like a woman ,,, not a dumpster

 

[Sagittarius84]

I think OP is either going to have to accept the majority of men that are ok with having another dick present are going to want it used to the fullest as well, or accept that her particular preference for men whom want to suck dick but not be penetrated by it is small subset of men that are available, and she'll most likely have to compromise on what she feels comfortable doing, or on what she enjoys receiving if she's seeking to keep her options as open as possible.
I don't think any of that has anything to do with if men see her as simply a sexual object/fetish or not, simply a reaffirmation that we all have our kinks and or preferences, the men she finds attractive included. As entitled she is to not want to anally penetrate a man but enjoy oral from him, he's just as entitled to wanting the penis he sucks to be entered in him, or not wanting to sexually interact with the penis at all...Either respective set of entitlements/preferences is always going to be subject to the selectivities of the other party.

 

[Number 9]

I'm grateful to be able to transition and pass living as a woman in society, mind, and energy in my mid 20's.. But my problem is surrounded around the topic of sex. Men who go after me are the most sexually complex men ever. I genuinely feel like I'm never considered when it comes to my kinks, and most just either want to fuck or be fucked.

Don't get me wrong, I understand every transgender woman is different, but I love having my dick sucked and sucking someone's dick.. It's just that every guy I met who likes dick also wants his ass fucked, and that's one thing I cannot bring myself to do. Otherwise I'm a pretty kinky girl and okay with most other things. I just feel objectified regarding my "girl dick".. and not as a sexual woman.

When it comes to dating, I have to avoid men who ask me out in public because I don't want to go through the whole "I'm trans btw haha" stage, so I stick to online dating instead. (just left a 4 year relationship recently because i got cheated on lol). But now there is this close family friend who likes me and is asking me out.. Ughhh

Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I guess I'm wondering are there any guys who like trans women as people instead of seeing them as a sex toy with a dick stuck on them? Trans girls have kinks too you know. Also, sorry this is all over the place.. I'm in my rant mindset.

@amirah let me see if I can take a chance at a expressing myself here.

First off let me say I wish things were less of a mess for you. Life is a messy business especially for those willing to be their true self. You have my respect.

I think it hard for us to understand the vast variety of different people and their desires. Sometimes I’m so wrapped up in myself it’s hard for me to see how anyone could not share my own sexual feelings.

I think there are a vast number of men that have fantasized about any number of scenarios with other men but guys my age were brought up in a “oh hell no” dark age so the idea slowly eased it way in to our subconscious.

In my case I have no interest in being with a masculine guy at all but slowly my fantasies would include ideas of watching my wife having sex with another man. Then my fascination turned into seeing her with his creampie slowly leaking out. I fixated on the idea of going down on her after I had filled her and then it became after he had filled her until it evolved into cleaning her over and over during a session with multiple partners. * with the caveat of NO humiliation*

Well at some point I had to admit to myself that I was just taking the long way around to admitting I wanted to swallow a guy strait away. I love the idea of taking him until I feel him explode in my mouth. Thing is I still have zero interest in guys so to speak. But …. then I considered trans girls. Hummm, the look that appeals to me and the idea of having my cake and swallowing it too. Ok, now we are getting somewhere.

Thing is I love sex with women and more than anything going down on her so currently my dream would be to service another M/F couple any way they like as part of their sexual play.

I know this all seems very convoluted but what I’m so poorly trying to say is often times people take a great deal of time and steps to change. Maybe they guys you have interacted with are just another sexual pilgrim in the initial stages of change and they are fighting the demons of societal driven guilt. They don’t see their sexuality clearly so they can’t accept themselves so I turn they have conflict accepting you as a person with feelings. They just have a base need to fulfill their fantasy and fight the guilt.

No, it isn’t fair and very possibly off the mark but it’s just how I see it.

Be well and good luck!