Dating problem: two tops

[Walktheplank]

Hey guys I’ve been talking to this really nice guy, he’s so cute inside and out…I’m starting to really like him…the question came up…and it turns out we’re both tops! NOOOOO…what makes matters worse is that neither of our dicks are small…I need some help. I want to learn how to bottom…lord have mercy I’m down bad I’ve always wanted to be vers anyway but every time I’ve tried anything anal it’s always been uncomfortable… Like are there any easy dildos that could get me going? Any lubes recommended? Any good douches? Any other advice I’m missing to get started? Thank you so much!!!

 

[Brodie888]

Part of it is that you have to learn to bottom but the other part is that he has to learn to top.

The bottom needs to learn how to douche, learn how to relax to take the required girth and how to ride.

The best place to start is with one finger and gradually increase to 3-4 fingers. Once you master that, consider buying some toys or objects with a wide base so that you don't get them lost inside.

The top needs to know how to progressively open the bottom with foreplay, apply lube and reapply lube regularly and extra bonus points for wiping any unpleasant things that occasionally may happen without saying a word.

 

[london_traveller]

I love bottoming but then again I never enjoyed fucking much either. Douching is key specially if the other guy is big. Toys can help you learn how to relax and respond to the prodding. Three first few times it’ll be key for the top to not push in all the way in one go but rather keep pulling out and go again each time a little more.

 

[calneva]

Bottoming or topping has never been a deal breaker for me. I love bottoming. I'm not always ready. I love topping. I can't always do it successfully.

I start out hookups with the expectation that neither of us should be expecting anything.

To me, there are plenty of things a couple can do for satisfaction that don't involve penis to anus penetration. If that happens, it can be phenomenal.

But the moment I quit having high expectations around positions and roles is the moment I truly began enjoying men.

 

[CreamEggOmlette]

Bottoming is difficult for me (even as a bottom) because 1) I don't do it a lot, and 2) ADHD can make intimacy difficult.

That being said, there are a few things to do that can make it easier:

1. Get a toy. It doesn't have to be a dildo. It can be a prostate massager or a butt plug (but something small). This will help you get used to having something in there.

2. If you decide the dildo is how you want to go, go to a sex shop (if you can) or look online at places like Mr. S Leather. Go for something in the 5 to 6 inch range and a small diameter. No need to shock your system. Once you feel good about how that feels, then you can go up a size.

3. Douche and go slow. If you are alone, have a glass of wine (or a shot of bourbon) and play with yourself. That hole needs to be relaxed before anything is going to get in there.

If you are with your boyfriend, things change a bit.

1. Douche. Get a bulb douche or an enema kit and follow the instructions. I use tap water, but you can also use distilled. This is a great guide to how to do it.

2. Don't eat a lot of food or greasy food. It can make things ... unpleasant.

3. Have your guy warm you up. Rimming and finger play can be used to open your hole and should be done until you comfortable moving onto the next stage.

4. Push out as he's coming in. If he's going for your prostate, push your hole out as if you are taking a shit. You're going to want to tense that fucker up. Don't.

5. GO SLOW! Rome wasn't built in a day and your hole isn't going to open up in seconds. Have him go in and check in. Go a bit at a time, breathe through your nose and out through your mouth and make sure he checks in.

6. Use a lot of lube. Like, a lot of lube. Lube is your friend. I like water based, but some don't like how quickly it can dry.

7. Listen to your body. When things are going good, you will know. If something seems off, stop the action until you are comfortable.

8. Keep a towel handy because shit happens.

9. Have fun. Sex is one of life's greatest joys and the best sex includes hot and sweaty times, but it also includes fun and laughter.

Hope you guys have a good time and just remember to breathe.