death of a sex drive

[B_werfghj]

hey everyone, for thoes of you who have been following my life in the relationships forum, you know my wife was caught seeing another man.
for thoes of you that havent, now you know.
interesting, being in my late 20's im 28... I had the sex drive of a 18 year old, i would masterbate everyday, and still want to screw, but since all of this has happened, I havent even really thought about sex, and my wife, hasn't had the want to touch me, so i guess it works out,
funny thing is, the first week or so was really rough, but now, my sex drive has kinda gone away.
interesting no?
Dan

 

[KinkGuy]

You are hurt. You are in pain. Resolving all that has transpired will take time. Emotionally, getting your nut is not paramount right now. Figuring out how this will all work out, be resolved, healed and repaired requires a great deal of energy. Give it time. Give your heart and mind time to work. Take the pressure off and give yourself the time required to heal. Your sex drive is still there, but waiting for your spirit to get the work done. All will be OK, if you concentrate on yourself first. That isn't being selfish it's being real.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Originally posted by KinkGuy@May 18 2005, 08:53 PM
You are hurt. You are in pain. Resolving all that has transpired will take time. Emotionally, getting your nut is not paramount right now. Figuring out how this will all work out, be resolved, healed and repaired requires a great deal of energy. Give it time. Give your heart and mind time to work. Take the pressure off and give yourself the time required to heal. Your sex drive is still there, but waiting for your spirit to get the work done. All will be OK, if you concentrate on yourself first. That isn't being selfish it's being real.

[post=312578]Quoted post[/post]​

Excellent advice, I really could not have put it any better. Work out the relationship thing, then see to the healing of your heart, then the healing of your mind. It will take time. It is not easy. It IS worth it. We are with you, Dan.

 

[jonb]

She cheated on you, so now you don't want to have sex. That's normal. Sex drive is directly related to stress. Too much and your libido shuts down. Too little and you become depressed and your libido shuts down again.

 

[rob57]

All the guys are absolutely on target. I would only add that what you're going through is pretty heavy stuff. You may want some professional counseling for yourself and your wife. Geez, I sound like Ann Landers. This is the sort of circumstance that can screw you up for years.

 

[Aruba 1st]

Originally posted by DanLaCanada@May 18 2005, 03:47 PM
Hey everyone,
My wife was caught seeing another man.
Interesting, being in my late 20's im 28... I had the sex drive of a 18 year old, but since all of this has happened, I havent even really thought about sex, and my wife, hasn't had the want to touch me, so I guess it works out, funny thing is, the first week or so was really rough, but now, my sex drive has kinda gone away.
Interesting no?
Dan

[post=312523]Quoted post[/post]​

Sorry to learn this Dan,
Interesting, ? yes; as is the JonB statement about too much - tho it doesn't apply.
Not unusual.
You've received support and correct info in the responses before this.

Good luck making the best decision regarding your future. People are people.
Mixed talents; they have the potential to overpower an error in one scene with positive contributions in others.
My advice to those with love-life problems – distance – get away from the loved one.
Don’t dwell on it, and give yourself LOTS of time.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Originally posted by jonb@May 19 2005, 05:19 AM
She cheated on you, so now you don't want to have sex. That's normal. Sex drive is directly related to stress. Too much and your libido shuts down. Too little and you become depressed and your libido shuts down again.

Well said, jonb. The older I get, the more true I find this to be.

SG

 

[malito]

As the victim of betrial and theft, the men here have said it so succintly, you are hurt. If you were here I'd give you a hug. In fact if you look at what you are receiving we are all hugging you. As men we see and feel you. You know this is one of the things you need to bring up in counseling?? Your feelings and emotions are dictating the sexual function of your body. Don't worry about that. It will respond as healing progresses.
Can you feel us? We care about you. My 2c.