Trulybig, I appreciate our communication and as long as you don’t share my name or handle here it’s fine to post my story. I also know you may get some angry feedback on what I am sharing but it’s simply true. Now, you may hear how being “gay” is not a choice, biological, or similar lectures. It can be a choice too in my opinion or perhaps better said certainly life experiences may influence ones sexuality. For me I can state that I feel that is the case for me.
Growing up I don’t recall having any thoughts about cock size or sexual interest in other guys until the age where you start getting exposed to nudity in the school locker room. How can any guy admit not checking out other guys and what their cocks look like whether you are straight or not. I mean it’s right there to see. This is when I discovered I was on the small side. It definitely influenced my confidence and fears of what a girl might think. As a consequence, I was never sexually aggressive in any dating scenario. I did date girls because that was the expectation and did engage once or twice in some make out sessions. But, I never tried to move beyond that stage. It can be debated whether I wasn’t really into women but I feel it was about my sexual fears or not measuring up that had me avoid a lot of dates with women. But, at that time I still wasn’t into guys.
I can tell what experience impacted me and when I think about it now it definitely influenced my sexual direction. When I turned 18 I was on a swimming trip and many of my friends were there. Everything was fine, nothing weird going on. It was time for us all to get out and changed to leave. Me and my friends all got out and went to the changing rooms. They were individual cubicles with solid dividers. I started getting changed. I took of my trunks. By this point I'd been out of the pool for a while and there was a fair bit of shrinkage and as I shared I already am small. So I was standing there naked, I started looking through my bag to get my clothes out. Then, without me realizing, one of my friends stands on the bench in his cubicle and is looking over the divider straight into my cubicle to say something. I'm sort of facing to the side so he can see pretty much everything. All of a sudden I hear him shout "oh my god, it's so small, your dick is so small, and it’s like a little worm!" All my friends are in the cubicles near us and they hear everything. They start asking what's going on and he tells them laughing that he's seen my penis and it's probably the smallest one he's ever seen...
Now I used the description friend in referring to this guy in my class. He was pretty cocky, messed around, he was a skateboarder too as was I. And what made it worse is I had seen his dick before at another swimming even and it was at least 5 inches soft and fat. He definitely was well-hung. He was always messing around and playing jokes on people so I guess that's why he did it with me and perhaps didn’t think about how his comment might make me feel horrible given he probably never worried about his size. Initially I just froze, I wasn't sure what to do and I just stood there naked, not moving. But then I sort of came back to reality and started freaking out, I quickly grabbed my towel and covered myself up. Everyone else, all my friends obviously heard. They were laughing and asking him how small is it? And then on the bus back afterwards now with the girls too the guys kept talking about it and making jokes and asking me stuff. It became a running joke. I remember him laughing and saying maybe you should sit with the girls. I was obviously pretty embarrassed.
Afterwards, I feel like it kind of changed the way guys acted around me, like they all seemed more confident and cocky, like they felt they were better than me. Also, since a lot of the girls I knew on the swim trip heard all the comments and thus found out made me feel that it hurt my chances with girlfriends. It could be debated that I used this as an excuse but at the time I think it was about confidence.
The overall impact this had on me along with already otherwise knowing I had a small cock was inferiority feelings. Well, the truth was in terms of penis size I was inferior to the majority of men. It also made me feel submissive toward other guys especially guys who had big penises. There were occasions where I would see a guy nude who possessed a big cock and would fantasize about being on my knees submissive to them. In fact, I gave up on the idea of being with a woman and become more interested in looking at naked guys.
Since then I have been with several well-endowed guys and know my place is to be a receptacle for their superior equipment. I can’t do anything about my little cock and so instead I enjoy the role of what it is, small, inferior, and I exist to serve the man with a big cock. I will explain how this developed.
I’m not going to spend the time to share all my experiences but will share my first and still one of the best times with a guy. Now as I said at this point I had not even tried to ask a woman out and felt very depressed. As mentioned, I am a skateboard enthusiast too. There was a small group of us that would get together at this college track. Larry, (not the guy who made fun of me) was someone I was also friendly with. I honestly can’t say if he made me aware he was bi or gay because this was something no one would have openly wanted to share at that time. The best I can recall and I think I have it correct in memory, was after some skateboarding Larry and went to a store like a 7-11 to get Gatorade. Behind the counter were magazines including Adult ones. Larry joked as we stood at the counter that he might make a career by posing for Playgirl. The confident and nonchalant way he said it made me wonder why he had said that to me. We walked out and he asked me if I wanted to meet him that night at this local bar. I nodded sure and walked away with a lot of internal anxiety.
Why was I anxious? I knew why but almost was afraid to admit it to myself. I was attracted to him. Me? Attracted to a guy? It was somewhat hard to admit but I also knew that way he had mentioned how he could pose nude with such confidence made me even more wondering what he looked like naked. The rest of the day I tried putting any thoughts out of my mind but I was super excited heading to the bar that evening.
Larry and I got together and it was very casual and I don’t remember much of what we talked about. It was likely school, skate boarding, and general topics. I was not sure but I felt a vibe. Then Larry asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment to smoke some weed. Wow, I was nervous but of course said “great.”
Growing up I don’t recall having any thoughts about cock size or sexual interest in other guys until the age where you start getting exposed to nudity in the school locker room. How can any guy admit not checking out other guys and what their cocks look like whether you are straight or not. I mean it’s right there to see. This is when I discovered I was on the small side. It definitely influenced my confidence and fears of what a girl might think. As a consequence, I was never sexually aggressive in any dating scenario. I did date girls because that was the expectation and did engage once or twice in some make out sessions. But, I never tried to move beyond that stage. It can be debated whether I wasn’t really into women but I feel it was about my sexual fears or not measuring up that had me avoid a lot of dates with women. But, at that time I still wasn’t into guys.
I can tell what experience impacted me and when I think about it now it definitely influenced my sexual direction. When I turned 18 I was on a swimming trip and many of my friends were there. Everything was fine, nothing weird going on. It was time for us all to get out and changed to leave. Me and my friends all got out and went to the changing rooms. They were individual cubicles with solid dividers. I started getting changed. I took of my trunks. By this point I'd been out of the pool for a while and there was a fair bit of shrinkage and as I shared I already am small. So I was standing there naked, I started looking through my bag to get my clothes out. Then, without me realizing, one of my friends stands on the bench in his cubicle and is looking over the divider straight into my cubicle to say something. I'm sort of facing to the side so he can see pretty much everything. All of a sudden I hear him shout "oh my god, it's so small, your dick is so small, and it’s like a little worm!" All my friends are in the cubicles near us and they hear everything. They start asking what's going on and he tells them laughing that he's seen my penis and it's probably the smallest one he's ever seen...
Now I used the description friend in referring to this guy in my class. He was pretty cocky, messed around, he was a skateboarder too as was I. And what made it worse is I had seen his dick before at another swimming even and it was at least 5 inches soft and fat. He definitely was well-hung. He was always messing around and playing jokes on people so I guess that's why he did it with me and perhaps didn’t think about how his comment might make me feel horrible given he probably never worried about his size. Initially I just froze, I wasn't sure what to do and I just stood there naked, not moving. But then I sort of came back to reality and started freaking out, I quickly grabbed my towel and covered myself up. Everyone else, all my friends obviously heard. They were laughing and asking him how small is it? And then on the bus back afterwards now with the girls too the guys kept talking about it and making jokes and asking me stuff. It became a running joke. I remember him laughing and saying maybe you should sit with the girls. I was obviously pretty embarrassed.
Afterwards, I feel like it kind of changed the way guys acted around me, like they all seemed more confident and cocky, like they felt they were better than me. Also, since a lot of the girls I knew on the swim trip heard all the comments and thus found out made me feel that it hurt my chances with girlfriends. It could be debated that I used this as an excuse but at the time I think it was about confidence.
The overall impact this had on me along with already otherwise knowing I had a small cock was inferiority feelings. Well, the truth was in terms of penis size I was inferior to the majority of men. It also made me feel submissive toward other guys especially guys who had big penises. There were occasions where I would see a guy nude who possessed a big cock and would fantasize about being on my knees submissive to them. In fact, I gave up on the idea of being with a woman and become more interested in looking at naked guys.
Since then I have been with several well-endowed guys and know my place is to be a receptacle for their superior equipment. I can’t do anything about my little cock and so instead I enjoy the role of what it is, small, inferior, and I exist to serve the man with a big cock. I will explain how this developed.
I’m not going to spend the time to share all my experiences but will share my first and still one of the best times with a guy. Now as I said at this point I had not even tried to ask a woman out and felt very depressed. As mentioned, I am a skateboard enthusiast too. There was a small group of us that would get together at this college track. Larry, (not the guy who made fun of me) was someone I was also friendly with. I honestly can’t say if he made me aware he was bi or gay because this was something no one would have openly wanted to share at that time. The best I can recall and I think I have it correct in memory, was after some skateboarding Larry and went to a store like a 7-11 to get Gatorade. Behind the counter were magazines including Adult ones. Larry joked as we stood at the counter that he might make a career by posing for Playgirl. The confident and nonchalant way he said it made me wonder why he had said that to me. We walked out and he asked me if I wanted to meet him that night at this local bar. I nodded sure and walked away with a lot of internal anxiety.
Why was I anxious? I knew why but almost was afraid to admit it to myself. I was attracted to him. Me? Attracted to a guy? It was somewhat hard to admit but I also knew that way he had mentioned how he could pose nude with such confidence made me even more wondering what he looked like naked. The rest of the day I tried putting any thoughts out of my mind but I was super excited heading to the bar that evening.
Larry and I got together and it was very casual and I don’t remember much of what we talked about. It was likely school, skate boarding, and general topics. I was not sure but I felt a vibe. Then Larry asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment to smoke some weed. Wow, I was nervous but of course said “great.”
