Did he like me or was he fucking with me

Dyspo Negero

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Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
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99% Straight, 1% Gay
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I (27M) have had a 10 year friendship with my LO(26M). Now I am DL bi, but the gay side was slowly dying down (sexuality is spectrum), around that time I had moved in with him and slowly became limèrent when I found out that my seemingly straight bff was into trans porn and dick, during that time he was also teasing me in sexual fashion, he would grab my hips, simulate felaciao, grab my pec and so on. All things that would drive me crazy and on the verge of risking it all.

By now, I do have a feeling that he might know I am secretly bi, due to sending him porn (BY ACCIDENT LIKE REAL ACCIDENT, like I ended up lying and saying I was hacked). He’s not naive so I don’t think he would believe my excuse which I am fine with it now, but remember that there is a chance that he might now my real sexuality.



There are other factors that would also confused on what his real intensions were, such as lingering eye contact, dirty talking more sexual teasing.

Months later, he continues to tease me but he then tells me he found a girlfriend, now that unexpectedly sent me into oblivion, I was more depressed, increased anxiety and later my very first panic attack, any time I would hear, see or anytime he would talk about her or how it’s getting serious, I would feel very dejected and disturb and not myself.



I know that he had noticed my shift and know what the triggers are(her), which is why he has stopped talking about her all this much.

So by now I am feeling very depressed and have reoccurring anxiety from the situation,

I also believe my abandonment issues are also flaring up on top of that as I now believe she has taken my place seemingly as one of his important pupils and that eventually he’ll leave me behind.

I fall even deeper into limerence(or love who knows) with stalking, recording and snooping in his phone.(VERY DARK)

The limerence strangely turns very sexual on that part (which adds to the sexual confusion).

I am borderline obsessed at this point until I decide that I cant live like this, I try to focus on myself and pulling back from the relationship for the sake of saving it but from his side it looks like avoiding, ignoring(stonewalling) and ect… (Now that I think about it was definitely my avoidant side coming out).



I can tell that he wasn’t happy with my different behavior, especially with me avoiding him and stonewalling, I couldn’t tell him what was going on as I am not out and my pride but mostly the first thing.

Telling him I have limerence for him(my bff) while posing as completely “straight” was not an option, so I kept it all buried and tried to move one and I only managed to crush my mental health.

Everyday was hard but I was surviving, it’s what I do, I pulled all the way back and I would go out by myself or with other friends, barely talking to him even tho we lived together, be more close with his siblings( not planned) and I guess it was bothering him but I wasn’t doing this in the internet if hurting him, i just wanted to get over it. I would try every now to get back to old vibes but it was beyond me, I sensed a little bit of resentment also from the rejection and humiliation because again in my head he might know about my limerence or that I could be in love with him. There might be resentment for the fact that he may or may not have played games and led me on.



Strides were made and I currently am doing better as I still try to detach and build a life for myself, trying to slowly detach from him, I found myself thinking about him less and less obsessively.

Until today, he has taken his girlfriend to a barbecue of a mutual friend and has left me home alone, I currently going crazy with high migraine and a broken heart and the feeling of heavy betrayal.

He has also constantly mentioned fucking his girlfriend, and side quests he sent her to do, for the preparation of this barbecue. And I’m starting to think now that he is fucking with me, that he’s trying to hurt me on purpose as a way to revenge for pushing him away, at the very least trying to trigger me.



PLEASE HELP ME I GUESS!
 
I (27M) had a 10 year friendship with my LO(26M). I am DL bi. I moved in with him and found he was into trans porn and dick. He also teased me in sexual fashion - grabbed my hips, simulated felaciao, and so on. Things that would drive me crazy and on the verge of risking it all. Now he has a girlfriend. Today he's taken her to a barbecue and left me home alone. I going crazy with high migraine, a broken heart and the feeling of heavy betrayal. He has also mentioned fucking his girlfriend. I’m starting to think he is fucking with me, trying to hurt me on purpose as a way to revenge for pushing him away, at the very least trying to trigger me.
PLEASE HELP ME I GUESS!

He isn't trying to trigger you. You had many a chance to pounce on him, whenever he groped you, but you blew it. He's found someone else now. You too need to either find someone else too, or not. So what choice will you make?
 
He isn't trying to trigger you. You had many a chance to pounce on him, whenever he groped you, but you blew it. He's found someone else now. You too need to either find someone else too, or not. So what choice will you make?
This is so true. I was recently introduced to a really hot guy (not sure if straight), but he has a gf. After finding out about that, I just never bothered to make any advances or even think of him in a nasty manner. We played video games a few weeks before since I was interested in him, but after hearing about his relationship, I just never showed up to him.
 
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I (27M) have had a 10 year friendship with my LO(26M). Now I am DL bi, but the gay side was slowly dying down (sexuality is spectrum), around that time I had moved in with him and slowly became limèrent when I found out that my seemingly straight bff was into trans porn and dick, during that time he was also teasing me in sexual fashion, he would grab my hips, simulate felaciao, grab my pec and so on. All things that would drive me crazy and on the verge of risking it all.

By now, I do have a feeling that he might know I am secretly bi, due to sending him porn (BY ACCIDENT LIKE REAL ACCIDENT, like I ended up lying and saying I was hacked). He’s not naive so I don’t think he would believe my excuse which I am fine with it now, but remember that there is a chance that he might now my real sexuality.



There are other factors that would also confused on what his real intensions were, such as lingering eye contact, dirty talking more sexual teasing.

Months later, he continues to tease me but he then tells me he found a girlfriend, now that unexpectedly sent me into oblivion, I was more depressed, increased anxiety and later my very first panic attack, any time I would hear, see or anytime he would talk about her or how it’s getting serious, I would feel very dejected and disturb and not myself.



I know that he had noticed my shift and know what the triggers are(her), which is why he has stopped talking about her all this much.

So by now I am feeling very depressed and have reoccurring anxiety from the situation,

I also believe my abandonment issues are also flaring up on top of that as I now believe she has taken my place seemingly as one of his important pupils and that eventually he’ll leave me behind.

I fall even deeper into limerence(or love who knows) with stalking, recording and snooping in his phone.(VERY DARK)

The limerence strangely turns very sexual on that part (which adds to the sexual confusion).

I am borderline obsessed at this point until I decide that I cant live like this, I try to focus on myself and pulling back from the relationship for the sake of saving it but from his side it looks like avoiding, ignoring(stonewalling) and ect… (Now that I think about it was definitely my avoidant side coming out).



I can tell that he wasn’t happy with my different behavior, especially with me avoiding him and stonewalling, I couldn’t tell him what was going on as I am not out and my pride but mostly the first thing.

Telling him I have limerence for him(my bff) while posing as completely “straight” was not an option, so I kept it all buried and tried to move one and I only managed to crush my mental health.

Everyday was hard but I was surviving, it’s what I do, I pulled all the way back and I would go out by myself or with other friends, barely talking to him even tho we lived together, be more close with his siblings( not planned) and I guess it was bothering him but I wasn’t doing this in the internet if hurting him, i just wanted to get over it. I would try every now to get back to old vibes but it was beyond me, I sensed a little bit of resentment also from the rejection and humiliation because again in my head he might know about my limerence or that I could be in love with him. There might be resentment for the fact that he may or may not have played games and led me on.



Strides were made and I currently am doing better as I still try to detach and build a life for myself, trying to slowly detach from him, I found myself thinking about him less and less obsessively.

Until today, he has taken his girlfriend to a barbecue of a mutual friend and has left me home alone, I currently going crazy with high migraine and a broken heart and the feeling of heavy betrayal.

He has also constantly mentioned fucking his girlfriend, and side quests he sent her to do, for the preparation of this barbecue. And I’m starting to think now that he is fucking with me, that he’s trying to hurt me on purpose as a way to revenge for pushing him away, at the very least trying to trigger me.



PLEASE HELP ME I GUESS!
It is hard to press the "Like" button for this kind of topic. By now you may have heard of and done some reading about Narcissist Personality Disorder; your Ex may be living with this mental disorder. Knowledge is power.
 
That's okay. You can spell, you can read. You typed your response on a computer. You'll learn if you want to.
Thanks for your condescension.

The reply was directed at the initial post.
 
He isn't trying to trigger you. You had many a chance to pounce on him, whenever he groped you, but you blew it. He's found someone else now. You too need to either find someone else too, or not. So what choice will you make?
He was doing this while being with his girl and people on here telling me to
Move on like I wouldn’t logically try that, I just want answers and closure so I can close that book once and for all
 
This is so true. I was recently introduced to a really hot guy (not sure if straight), but he has a gf. After finding out about that, I just never bothered to make any advances or even think of him in a nasty manner. We played video games a few weeks before since I was interested in him, but after hearing about his relationship, I just never showed up to him.
It’s a bit different tho, I have a 10 year bond with ol dude and he been playing like this for a while even as far back as 2 weeks ago (I’m talking about groping me and talking dirty) 85% of the time initiates it, I’m certainly not left pining after him but I do like him so…
 
He isn't trying to trigger you. You had many a chance to pounce on him, whenever he groped you, but you blew it. He's found someone else now. You too need to either find someone else too, or not. So what choice will you make?
One more thing since I’m remembering some stuff, I been in situations where I was trying to move meaning I was talking to other girls (in front of him at times) and it would be apparent that he would try to cockblock me, once I let it slide cause it wasn’t too bad (going out of his way to insert himself in my convo with il girl) and the other very blantly “playing gay” with me (like trying to grab my pants) infront of a girl I BEEN digging, when that didn’t work he would try to put me down almost. So no it’s not has one sided has y’all think and honestly even I forget sometimes
 
^^Find somewhere else to live. Try to move out before Thanksgiving. Distance yourself from him and his family members. It will only hurt you more dealing with him/them when you can't have him. His cock blocking actions are not those of a friend, but those of an attention seeking, insensitive jerk. He doesn't want you; he only groped you for laughs. Yet talking about sex with his girlfriend is just what guys do. You say you're bi and the gay side has died down. So focus on a woman and avoid him. When he's out, chill at home. Plan your outings for when he'll be home. . He's in a relationship with a woman. You deserve better than this jerk. Seek therapy and other activities to pass the time and distract from him. Once you've moved out, cut off all contact with him.