Wondering what the best way to find a regular DL bi guy for regular relief? I would love to find someone I can trust for regular relief. Any suggestions? Thanks!
DL Buddy
- Thread starter biguyinslo
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You might want to create a profile on adam4adam stating what you are looking for. It seems to be better in some areas than others as far as people being able to find someone. Also, check the Double List website.
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I signed up for Adam4adam. I was amazed at how many guys there are within 10 miles of me. I need someone who can host, I can't. Free, but a lot of ads. A pay option, too.
If you are looking for another married guy then hosting is always an issue. You might have to get a hotel room.
I'm married with a retired chronically ill wife who seldom goes anywhere. Life on the DL is a bitch.
After getting through what my closest friends call everyone's slutty phase, I settled down mostly seeing another married man with whom I have a close emotional connection. We have all the stuff of a great relationship that my marriage lacks. We did car sex a few times .. there's a randy dude lurking beneath his mild mannered teacher facade. I have keys to an underutilized community center which is where we often meet up. Especially as it's near a Korean day spa and my health club. A few times I've driven to his home two hours away when his wife isn't home, or we slept over at his mom's house in the city which is where he stayed during the week in his last job, and that's the time frame in which we first met through a mutual friend. Two times now he's driven 600 miles to be in the area when I was visiting my folks. We spent a couple nights sort of camping in his van in a state park. On a couple occasions we've engineered a night or two away at an airbnb or state park lodge or wonderfully when I have a room at a luxe downtown hotel for a work meeting.
That's a long way of saying if it's meant to be you find a way to make it work through the combination of circumstances unique to both your lives.
I have two other buddies who are single .. they have bfs but don't live with them. We fuck socially when we can (but not together!) because we have great sexual chemistry, They both live in an area I can get to easily and schedules we can mesh to meet up for a couple hours before or after work. I'm very attracted to both of them in different ways, we are very friendly with one another but going out for lunch is the most interaction we've ever had outside the bedroom (or living room floor). So I guess they are friends with benefits.
My first man is also single. We met up only in hotels he arranged. His aging mom lives with him. We truly have the best sex I've ever had but he was all business about the social relationship while remaining genial on the outside. And I am wracked with guilt that I fucked the whole thing up by passing along a curable STD... which tends to trash trust.
Here's the kicker. I picked it up from my married lover whom I thought was otherwise all alone (he doesn't have sex with his wife anymore, but he admitted letting a guy rim him in the gym, and the first time he got chlamydia his doc actually gave him the wrong antibiotics to treat.!)
My single buddies are both stallions you'd think they have multiple partners but my greatest risk was from the most unlikely source
No matter who you're with open dialog AND taking full personal responsibility (ie getting tested between partners and maybe even between interactions, plus PReP esp if you don't have protected sex) is the only responsible course of action. Short of HIV at least everything else is easily curable if caught early so taking an attitude of accepting your own risk and having an open non-judgmental conversation with a partner you like who unfortunately gave you an STI is the best way to move on and find forgiveness if the man is worthy or you can help him get beyond his slutty phase.. or walk away knowing you were man enough to show some compassion first.
Ps. Every site is different. I personally found A4A to be loaded with sluttty guys and an STI waiting to happen. I like the Scruff vibe more, and guys there tend to be more open about being poz. My first man found ME on silverdaddies and that's what started my whole journey.. at age 54.
After getting through what my closest friends call everyone's slutty phase, I settled down mostly seeing another married man with whom I have a close emotional connection. We have all the stuff of a great relationship that my marriage lacks. We did car sex a few times .. there's a randy dude lurking beneath his mild mannered teacher facade. I have keys to an underutilized community center which is where we often meet up. Especially as it's near a Korean day spa and my health club. A few times I've driven to his home two hours away when his wife isn't home, or we slept over at his mom's house in the city which is where he stayed during the week in his last job, and that's the time frame in which we first met through a mutual friend. Two times now he's driven 600 miles to be in the area when I was visiting my folks. We spent a couple nights sort of camping in his van in a state park. On a couple occasions we've engineered a night or two away at an airbnb or state park lodge or wonderfully when I have a room at a luxe downtown hotel for a work meeting.
That's a long way of saying if it's meant to be you find a way to make it work through the combination of circumstances unique to both your lives.
I have two other buddies who are single .. they have bfs but don't live with them. We fuck socially when we can (but not together!) because we have great sexual chemistry, They both live in an area I can get to easily and schedules we can mesh to meet up for a couple hours before or after work. I'm very attracted to both of them in different ways, we are very friendly with one another but going out for lunch is the most interaction we've ever had outside the bedroom (or living room floor). So I guess they are friends with benefits.
My first man is also single. We met up only in hotels he arranged. His aging mom lives with him. We truly have the best sex I've ever had but he was all business about the social relationship while remaining genial on the outside. And I am wracked with guilt that I fucked the whole thing up by passing along a curable STD... which tends to trash trust.
Here's the kicker. I picked it up from my married lover whom I thought was otherwise all alone (he doesn't have sex with his wife anymore, but he admitted letting a guy rim him in the gym, and the first time he got chlamydia his doc actually gave him the wrong antibiotics to treat.!)
My single buddies are both stallions you'd think they have multiple partners but my greatest risk was from the most unlikely source
No matter who you're with open dialog AND taking full personal responsibility (ie getting tested between partners and maybe even between interactions, plus PReP esp if you don't have protected sex) is the only responsible course of action. Short of HIV at least everything else is easily curable if caught early so taking an attitude of accepting your own risk and having an open non-judgmental conversation with a partner you like who unfortunately gave you an STI is the best way to move on and find forgiveness if the man is worthy or you can help him get beyond his slutty phase.. or walk away knowing you were man enough to show some compassion first.
Ps. Every site is different. I personally found A4A to be loaded with sluttty guys and an STI waiting to happen. I like the Scruff vibe more, and guys there tend to be more open about being poz. My first man found ME on silverdaddies and that's what started my whole journey.. at age 54.
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I have an A4A profile but only tend to activate it when I visit the US. It has a very useful section where you can show the city and area you are visiting.
Here in the UK I like fabguys. It's easy on there to find very local, discrete guys, and even the free version allows private messages. The paid version is not too expensive either and has some nice features.
Here in the UK I like fabguys. It's easy on there to find very local, discrete guys, and even the free version allows private messages. The paid version is not too expensive either and has some nice features.
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My last steady bud was from a site called Squirt which lasted a few years. My current regular bud I found on Silver Daddies. He is my age, married, not out and is verse like me so we have some great flipping sessions.
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