Dl men can be so toxic

[KyJObud]

Last summer, I was on bumble BFF and matched with this one guy up in Dayton. He was middle age, good looking and served in the navy. We hit it off immediately and talked about a lot of stuff and eventually started bonding over porn. Mind you, he told me he was 100% straight. We shared porn and I suggested we meet up and try DPing a chick. He was excited about it initially, we even got comfortable comparing nudes. He seemed uncomfortable about talking about it much further than that. A few weeks later, I reached out and asked if he wanted to meet up again, he began to come off as distant and made excuses of why he couldn’t meet, and eventually I kind of stopped trying and moved on to better things.
Well, very recently, I saw this dude on Bateworld!! A dude that claimed to be 120% straight and I was shocked at first. Like why was he so open to making a BW profile but showing off and talking about jerking together last year on bumble bff was too much??? Nonetheless, I hit him up and he blocked me.
Could it be that he got embarrassed that I forced him to come to terms with his feelings a year ago that *maybe* he’s not as straight as he thinks and that made him uncomfortable and now I’ve found his profile on BW and I’ve essentially called his bluff?
I get being down low, guys but remember when you do stuff like this, you end up hurting more parties than just yourself..

 

[BlackBearCognac]

Yes... but perhaps it's also toxic to pursue them?

 

[KyJObud]

This is true

Yes... but perhaps it's also toxic to pursue them?

 

[bravesoldier]

I believe some men simply cannot deal with the fact they have same sex desires. I also believe some will go to the ends of the earth to hide it, marrying women to save face and getting cock on the down low. I don't know, sometimes I think this kind of behavior is related to the way they grew up, past trauma or humiliation in some related way. All kinds out there.

 

[HungBtmVegas]

In my experience, it's more about you knowing him from Bumble first, which is probably in his "straight" world, whereas if you met him on BW, it'd be a context that he was already prepared to connect with other guys on. DL and straight guys are only comfortable when their public lives and private lives don't intersect.

 

[dreamer20]

Last summer, on bumble BFF, one straight guy in Dayton, middle aged, good looking. We hit it off, talked about lots of stuff & shared porn. I suggested we meet up and try DPing a chick. But beyond comparing nudes he seemed uncomfortable about that. A few weeks later I asked if he wanted to meet up again, he made excuses why he couldn’t meet. Eventually I stopped and moved on to better things. Recently, I saw him on Bateworld!! I was shocked at first. Why so open to making a BW profile but talking about jerking together last year was too much??? Nonetheless, I hit him up and he blocked me.
Could it be he’s not as straight as he thinks and now I’ve found his profile, on BW, I’ve essentially called his bluff? I get being down low, guys but remember when you do stuff like this, you end up hurting more parties than just yourself..

KyJObud, I shall refer to your former BFF acquaintance as "Guy". I don't see Guy as being "toxic". You've misused this situation in order to label him and all unrelated DL persons as "toxic". If I were you, I would have begun by arranging a non-sexual, in person meet - to see if we actually gelled in person. A right off the bat invitation to have a threesome with him, someone you've never met in person before, was a big mistake on your part. Realize and respect the fact Guy was put off by your sexual scenarios and wanted nothing more to do with you in particular. Just move on to seeing someone else and use the following thread as a guide, in future, if you intend to meet a person you met online:
Meet someone you have known online...