I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone...
My friend is a self described "flaming homo". He says if you tell anyone that they'll instantly picture him. If you haven't, 5'7 kind of scrawny looking, flamboyant... the kid who looks like he got bullied in school regardless of if he was gay or not.
My friend's life partner, 6'3, 250 looks like he could jump into an NFL defensive line and reak terror. The veins on his arms have bigger muscles then me. He also has an unmistakable, unconcealable, enormous bulge in everything he wears, even when he tries to minimize it. TOTAL ALPHA STUD.
My friend says that nothing turns him on more then seeing the face of other guys when he walks up to his hulking partner, slaps his ass and gives it a squeeze and says can't wait to get your bitch ass home and bend you over. And his partner always responds with yes daddy.
I'll be honest, I've known them 10 years and to look at them it's still hard to believe this "flaming homo" being the top AND the alpha to this brute. But this brute jumps to do what ever daddy tells him to.