I didn’t answer this question back in 2009, when it was first posted. I’m glad I didn’t.
Because if I’d answered it then, I’d only be able to say that I’ve been with my now-husband eight and a half years.
By answering it today, I can happily say that in July, it will be 21 years since we met. In November it will be 21 years since our first fuck. In September, it will be 13 years since our civil union.
(It was, if you’ll pardon the expression, a shotgun civil union. We needed to do it for immigration purposes.)
We did some of it long distance. We had difficulties which nearly drove us apart. But recent difficult circumstances have had the opposite effect; they strengthened us.
I wouldn’t characterize it as a result of “commitment”, as
@Mixedboy292 suggests. Who knows? We might yet grow apart. Gay men, I think, are pretty realistic in affairs of the heart.
But I can say that over the years, we’ve grown more tolerant of what drives each other crazy, more appreciative of the other’s emotional generosity, and kept up a decent enough sex life. Not bad for a couple, gay or straight.