Do you know any homosexuals that have been in a long term relationship?

[guynmn]

17 years in August. I have known a handful of couples with 10+ years but they are not as visible as the "typical" gay stereotypes. LOL, I don't usually get pegged as gay driving a minivan with a load of kids dressed in my PTA soccer dad gear. Not the image of "gay" in American pop culture so you kind of get ignored and marginalized but us long-termers are part of the community.

 

[At.your.cervix]

This question really got my head going. At first my reaction was WTF?! What makes you think that gay couples are any different than straight couples? I mean I know quite a few very long-term gay and lesbian couples (I'm straight). Then, the more I thought about it I reflected back on some of the conversations I've had recently with some of my gay and lesbian friends, remembering how I was thinking how much harder it must be for them to keep relationships going when they have so much additional shit to deal with. Beyond that, unless they have kids, which only one gay couple I know does, then the pressure to stay together during relationship downturns, just for "the kids," isn't there either. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that through thinking about it, I've just gained a much better awareness of how deep the love my gay and lesbian friends must have to maintain such bonds through the years. Thanks for putting my head in a good place.

 

[NYHoti]

My partner and I have been together 11 years. He gets mad when I tell people its been the happiest 3 years of my life. Joke. My friends, both straight and gay, always seem to be amazed that we have been together so long because couples don't seem to stay together for so long these days. As the years go by it seems like staying in the relationship is kind of like a trophy.

 

[B_625girth]

there's a a rich old guy in town, has the same much younger bf for 20-25 yrs. the older guy moved to a house on the back of his property, and the young guy has the big house on main street. I had some construction work to do on the back house to make it more habitable for the old guy. he's got to be 90 yo.

 

[cubby]

My partner and I have been together for 9 years now and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are both relatively young as well which makes it even more special. Congratulations to all those long lasting couples.

 

[NYHoti]

I have a question for all of the guys who are in long relationships. Me and my bf have been together 11 years. How do you keep it exciting and want to be together as the years go by? At this point we are just like roommates. We have sex only a few times a year and over the years we have both changed so we don't even have the same common interests anymore. I love him but I am not "in love" with him. What do you guys do to stay "in love" with someone for so long?

 

[lislndr]

Couple guys I work with have been together maybe 15 years?

 

[avatarng]

My partner and I have been together for 25 years now. We are very happy together and we don not fight over stupid things. He is going to be 51 in April and I just turn 46 last week. The secret is listen to each other.

 

[nudeyorker]

I have not read the whole thread but I know as many gay people as straight people who have been in a LTR. I know an equal number who have failed relationships gay and straight. It's really not a homosexual vs. heterosexual issue but more of a discussion of people who may have entered a relationship for the wrong reasons or it just was not meant to be... My first partner died of a heart attack and it's hard to guess what the outcome would have been in a perfect world...
but my partner and I are going on 11 years and hoping for another 11 years and maybe 11 years after that and then maybe another 11... the thing is we don't take each other and what we have for granted so maybe thats part of the recipe.... I'll let you know in 11 years.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

I just celebrated my seventh with my current beau earlier this month. It's the longest relationship I have ever been in. The only other two men I've been in long term relationships have been roughly 3 years each.

It's not uncommon to find gay or lesbian couples in long term relationships, as evident to the responses on this thread. Sadly, the masses love a tragedy so it makes sense that you won't hear about these things on television. Too many forces that be want to continually demonize homosexuality even in 2011. The general masses, as a culture, still can't accept the image of two men kissing or even holding hands. If they react indifferent to this, then how would any of them accept the fact that gay & lesbian people can be in committed relationships?

 

[bwhip1011]

Me, never, but my younger sister has been with her partner for 14 years. They're both wonderful.

 

[Deve1opment]

15 years this year!

 

[Holdit]

Me and my partner have been together for 21 years... we are 43 and 45 and going strong. Lots of shit happens during the years but you work hard at it and its all worthwhile in the end!!!

 

[Holdit]

ooops my partner and I LO! See the longer you are together you loose your grammar skills!

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

Yes, we know several same-sex couples, both male and female, who have been living together for many years. One long-established female couple have just had a legal same-sex partnership ceremony.

 

[runningwoof]

15 years this year...legally married 8/8/2008!

 

[pierceplace]

I know... long term but not monogamous

 

[jetjok9]

I just checked the calendar-- we are in the 21st century, dude. I am in my second 15+ year monogamous gay relationship-- my first husband died of AIDS, or we would still be together. Long term relationships are a mental attitude, and although every LTR has tough times, there are also many, many good times. Relationships are the basic fabric of our humanity. Just my opinion, and my experience, but all this gay-man-whore stereotype stuff saddens me.

 

[Mephisto76]

Ok, here is my contribution. I have been with my man since 2000, so close to 11 years. To be honest, our relationship is described by friends as "the perfect relationship". Yes, we have had bumps, but overall we are great friends, enjoy sex with each other (and sometimes we have a 3th guest...) and we are truthful to each other.

As the article linked below says: "marriage used to be about property and enforcing a strict male-female hierarchy, but now it’s about love and partnership". This is where same sex unions may be stronger than straight unions/marriages. And this is why marriage should be open for all. Because marriage is not legal at a federal level in the US we had to move (he is American, I am not) and we have been living in different places for the last 9 years...

Read more Gays Aren't "Redefining" Marriage, But We Are Ahead of the Curve | Change.org News

Ah, and we are both hung

 

[DaveyR]

24 years this year and married legally for the last 6 months. :wink: