Do you know when your male best friend is madly in love with you?

[myka12]

For the ladies out there that have a straight male best friend, because I know it's probably easier for women to have a gay best friend, do you know whether or not he's in love with you?

I ask because usually the person over time that I consider my best friend, over periods of time like high school, college, into my working years, it usually ends up being a woman. I have plenty of guy friends and a few guy best friends, but when it comes down to the ride or die, the bffl, the true homie, it ends up being a woman, and I just fall MADLY in love with them lol. My collegiate best friend figured it out one day and I was terrified to tell her for years, and when she confronted me about it it made things terribly awkward and it took a long time for us to get back to being just friends because she was not interested like I was. We're great now and she's married and has a beautiful baby, I'm happy for her.

Right now my current bestie is a friend I met at work. We've been the bestest of besties for over 5 years. Share everything, nothing is too obscene between us, and there's "no secrets between us" despite my huge secret that I love this woman. But she's made it ABUNDANTLY clear, especially over the last year since she's been single and working on herself that I'm the most platonic friend in her life and there is NOTHING she finds attractive about me, as I'm not her type. So I assume she knows how I actually feel about her and she just tries to keep me at bay.

But I wanted to see if this is a regular thing or not. Your thoughts, ladies

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

It's not unusual in my experience to not be able to have actual, true friends who are men because they "fall for you" or just wanna fuck.

I'm not saying I have zero men in my life who haven't tried to fuck but I've come to understand at a point in my life that was indeed VERY long ago that I shouldn't expect men to honestly see me as a friend.

I have had sex with men who I consider to be true friends and still do, because it's nuanced . I have friends who I still speak with who *I* want to fuck but can't.

But I just offer randomly that if a person ever suggests they want to stay platonic just accept it. Don't keep making it known that you want more and if friendship isn't enough go separate ways and find someone who wants to be with you. And maybe make some friends who can just be your friends without you seeming to fall for them. Boundaries need to be set and not crossed sometimes

 

[Holly Doors]

Gosh you just reminded me of a guy I was friends with back in the day, he was a really good friend and we often did stuff together etc but he 100 fell for me and seriously just wasn't my type.
When he started coming on to me I told him straight, I can be pretty blunt tbh just my way but didn't wanna hurt him cos he was a real sensitive kindly type but had to tell him.
Can't remember but think he claimed he was drunk or high when he tried it on and that was all, tbf he didn't try anything physical after that but he became so damn clingy like having a damn puppy around my feet all the time and always buying me stuff which I'd never expressed a need or want for, wanting to take me out for dinner all the time and all that.
I went with it for a while giving him the benefit of the doubt but people started thinking we were a couple tbh I think he might have even been telling his friends we were a couple, obviously stuff gets messy eventually, my friends would constantly tell him to lay off cos it'd never happen with me and of course I was constantly dropping hints that he's A GOOD FRIEND and nice to have a GOOD FRIEND...
Final straw tho was he started buying me flowers and writing me little letters, I mean even if someone I was interested in started doing that shit it'd be over before it started, I'm not into soft soap, honestly it makes me feel nauseous lmao.
In the end I just had to tell him we couldn't be friends anymore, took him a while but he got the message.

 

[EllieP]

My best male friend growing up was closer to me than my sister, which is saying a lot. He's also the man who took my virginity, but let me finish - it was my idea. And he was hesitant about it because he was afraid it would change things. Well, it certainly did change things, but only for the better.

We're still close even though he lives in San Antonio, and I'm in Nashville. But I see him when I go home to visit. His wife and I went to school together, and I'm close to his whole family.

Was he in love with me? I don't think so, I mean, not that kind of love. We do love each other though.