Double list surprise

[Waiside33]

I am a DL bi married guy. I recently posted an ad on doublelist.com looking for for some discreet fun with another DL guy to play with. Someone I know very well replied to the ad. I am not sure what to do. I feel weird knowing his secret.
should I go meet up with him? Should I just tell him I’m not interested and never reveal myself to him?

 

[Assman1]

Sounds almost ideal. You've found a suck buddy that you know.

 

[AllDixNeedLuv69]

Does he know who you are? Surely you posted pics of yourself as he did?
Is he a guy you see yourself with or wanting to be with over the years but haven’t because he is somewhat straight?

I never went to that site. But I did run into a guy I knew and he was married but bisexual and hadn’t been with a man in years..

And before he figured out who I was I reminded him of things over the years when we were around each other then he mentioned my name and he was like sure ..

we met talked and bullshit around a while and what was funny was began to take our shirts off at same time so begin to have fun.. I never knew what he had below the belt but he wasn’t hung .. but what he did have he knew how to use it.. we became regular buddies for a while until his wife saw cum in pair of his underwear and wanted to know what was going on.. he tried to tell her he just jerked off but she didn’t believe him .. so he quit and worked on his marriage

 

[merc41]

I would message him saying you are.sure that you know each other and see what he says.

I am a DL bi married guy. I recently posted an ad on doublelist.com looking for for some discreet fun with another DL guy to play with. Someone I know very well replied to the ad. I am not sure what to do. I feel weird knowing his secret.
should I go meet up with him? Should I just tell him I’m not interested and never reveal myself to him?

 

[Waiside33]

I am a DL bi married guy. I recently posted an ad on doublelist.com looking for for some discreet fun with another DL guy to play with. Someone I know very well replied to the ad. I am not sure what to do. I feel weird knowing his secret.
should I go meet up with him? Should I just tell him I’m not interested and never reveal myself to him?

We’ve swapped pics but none of them reveal ourselves enough to know. It has been personal details that he has shared that make me know who he is. A part of me feels like I want to tell him cause I would hate if someone knew my secret.
I just don’t know how to bring it up.

 

[Waiside33]

I’ve been in my head all day, back and forth, should I tell him or not. The struggle is real.

 

[Clrwtrdlbud71-fl]

If you like him (personality, physically, sexually), this cluld be an ideal situation for you, so be chill and reveal yourself in a relaxed, non push, non commit way, and then thr ball is in his court to decide. Something ongoing the lines of "hey man this is [Name], so cool to find you here, I did not realize you were into this too."

 

[Page417]

I've been the other guy in this situation. A guy on Grindr told me he recognized me but refused to tell me who he was. It's a dick move.

 

[18wheeler]

This would be a dream come true in my mind….. for both parties. And yes. You should tell him, regardless of the outcome. He needs to know who knows his secrets

 

[ronin001]

I think that DL is OK
I think that DL + Married = OK
I think that DL + Married + looking for sex = Cheating

My formula for divorce

 

[marriedasian]

if it's not too late, i would recommend to not pursue this unless you want to risk this part of your life getting out in the open. you don't know how the other person will respond to you or how they will react once they know who you are. they may freak out from guilt and spill the beans which in-turn will fuck up your life.

it can go good because you know each other but it can also go terribly wrong. since you're married and only looking for "discreet" play then it means your spouse doesn't know, right? and that you're wanting it to stay that way? cheat if you must or want as i will never judge anyone for their own decisions however i'm trying to save you from a potential disaster.

this has happened to me more than a few times when my wife and i were looking for a third to join us in the bedroom. in all occasions except 2, it was either a boyfriend or husband that either of us knew. we simply gave them a courtesy of telling them we "know who you are" and "please stop contacting us". the last thing i wanted to do was to out these men and women in our circle of friends and family. to this day we have not spoken a word to anyone and our perception of these men and women have not changed when we see them at social gatherings.

my friends and family know my wife and i were and still are active swingers so they knew we fucked around but we never involved our friends or family in our antics. too much drama and when shit hits the fan, there's no telling what will happen. it's easier to avoid a newly-friended stranger than a long-time friend or family.

good luck. there's plenty of guys out there to play with. i would avoid this one entirely. remember that fantasy in your head runs according to plan. reality, on the other hand, does not.

 

[bighornso]

if it's not too late, i would recommend to not pursue this unless you want to risk this part of your life getting out in the open. you don't know how the other person will respond to you or how they will react once they know who you are. they may freak out from guilt and spill the beans which in-turn will fuck up your life.

it can go good because you know each other but it can also go terribly wrong. since you're married and only looking for "discreet" play then it means your spouse doesn't know, right? and that you're wanting it to stay that way? cheat if you must or want as i will never judge anyone for their own decisions however i'm trying to save you from a potential disaster.

this has happened to me more than a few times when my wife and i were looking for a third to join us in the bedroom. in all occasions except 2, it was either a boyfriend or husband that either of us knew. we simply gave them a courtesy of telling them we "know who you are" and "please stop contacting us". the last thing i wanted to do was to out these men and women in our circle of friends and family. to this day we have not spoken a word to anyone and our perception of these men and women have not changed when we see them at social gatherings.

my friends and family know my wife and i were and still are active swingers so they knew we fucked around but we never involved our friends or family in our antics. too much drama and when shit hits the fan, there's no telling what will happen. it's easier to avoid a newly-friended stranger than a long-time friend or family.

good luck. there's plenty of guys out there to play with. i would avoid this one entirely. remember that fantasy in your head runs according to plan. reality, on the other hand, does not.

I agree with you. I would say leave it alone and move on. Out of respect for the guy you know, don't ever bring it up to anyone and let him live his life. If you decide to tell him that you know him then it's only fair that you let him know who you are because it would drive the other person crazy not knowing who you are.

I met someone from Grindr that I knew because of his profile picture. I didn't want to meet him but we did chat for awhile. He was single and gay so it was okay for him but unfortunately I was not able to disclose who I was to him which he understood. To this day I have never told anyone about him as it is not my business or story to tell.

 

[mrbigdoc]

I say you are both looking for the same thing and how perfect is that!!! Go for it.... You both will get over it once you get down to enjoy time together. I think it';s great!!

 

[Bigred12]

This happened to me. I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a married discreet in shape guy. Guy responded & we emailed back & forth a few times. Traded body pics (no face). Guy comes back saying I think we know each other. No more responses after that. A few weeks later my wife & I were at a BBQ with a few other families. A buddy & I were talking & having a beer and after awhile he slips into the conversation that we might have a common interest. I’m like oh yeah? He just cracks a smile and we keep talking about some other stuff. It took me awhile but eventually it dawns in me what it was. We talk again and eventually decide to try and meet for beers. We eventually get together and just go slow. Turns out he and another one of our friends who is also married in our group have been meeting up as well. Turned out well for us but communication, trust , and being extremely discreet were what made it work I think.

 

[Waiside33]

This happened to me. I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a married discreet in shape guy. Guy responded & we emailed back & forth a few times. Traded body pics (no face). Guy comes back saying I think we know each other. No more responses after that. A few weeks later my wife & I were at a BBQ with a few other families. A buddy & I were talking & having a beer and after awhile he slips into the conversation that we might have a common interest. I’m like oh yeah? He just cracks a smile and we keep talking about some other stuff. It took me awhile but eventually it dawns in me what it was. We talk again and eventually decide to try and meet for beers. We eventually get together and just go slow. Turns out he and another one of our friends who is also married in our group have been meeting up as well. Turned out well for us but communication, trust , and being extremely discreet were what made it work I think.

Man this is such an ideal situation. is it still ongoing?

 

[Bigred12]

N

Man this is such an ideal situation. is it still ongoing?

No unfortunately. Two of us moved.

 

[cmh469]

I have had this happen a few times - a massage therapist I had been going to for years, a neighbor on my same street, the husband of a woman I knew from work. In every case I messaged the guy and also told him who I was. Usually it didn't lead to anything more than an interesting conversation, swapping pics and stories, that kind of thing. They were all good dudes and just looking for the same thing I was.