Axle
story by posingstrap
The 'regulars' moved aside when he came in and took the stool beside mine.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself.”
"You waitin' for someone?" He looked around twenty, his body so built, even his high-cheekboned, velvet-skinned face looked muscular.
"No--I was just about to leave."
"I'm Axle. Who're you?"
"Todd."
"I don't like this place much, either." He looked around. "Yo' got plans, Mr. Todd?"
He had no drink--just swaggered right on through the dance floor drawing all eyes to his five-eleven, big-shouldered, big-biceped handsomeness.
Guys like Axle were an extreme rarity.
"It’s not Mr. Todd. It’s just Todd. And plans? No. No I don't have plans." I spoke down at my drink.
Axle laughed, the sound high spirited and sharp. "You think I's hustlin' yo white ass, don' you?"
I felt blood rise in my neck--a mix of surprise and annoyance. I don't much like being second-guessed or sized-up.
"Yeah, I do." I looked him up and down, then into his large and surprisingly soft brown eyes. "I'm twice your age."
"Shiiiit--get him another,” he theatrically announced to Joe, slapping a fifty on the bar. “--an' I'll have th' same,"
Axle swiftly turned and stared at the cloying, eavesdropping regulars. They backed off, moving into the shadows, trying to listen-in despite his glare, and the loud electronic music.
"I can't help that, man."
"What?--help what?" I raised my eyebrows, finishing my drink.
"That I'm a kid an' you’re a man--that's what," he pocketed his change, leaving two bucks for Joe. He sulked as he took a sip, then made a face. "What IS this shit?"
"Rye."
"Rye?? What th' fuck's 'Rye'?" he sipped again, his sexy lips curling over the glass.
"It's whiskey. It’s Canadian."
"Shiiiiiit!"
I had to smile.
"Don' act superior, wi’ me, man--I gets enuff a' that shit at work!"
My smile disappeared. "That’s on me, Axle. Sorry."
"Good--sayin' sorry's good. I neva' hear dat," he took way more than a sip this time.
Once again he turned to stare off the voyeurs. "What's wi' this place, man? They's like a bunch'a women."
"It's a gay bar, Axle," I shrugged, shifting my eyes to glimpse the nipple-stretching heft of his t-shirt. "What do you expect?"
"I nev'a been in one. My bitch kicked my black ass outta bed--so I came in t' see waz up."
"You want me to believe that, huh?" I didn't smile this time.
Axle came off the stool, turning full front. Over the white t-shirt was a black leather vest, his baggy jeans falling from his slim hips, revealing a 2(x)ist waistband . He crooked his fingers to gesture at his full-chested, big-all-over, V-shaped body.
"Does THIS look faggy t' you, man?--shiiit--" He fell dramatically back onto the stool, shaking his head.
Joe looked at me across the bar, not even having to roll his eyes.
“So, Axle, let me get this right...you're not queer, but you want to know if I've 'got plans'?" My voice was quiet, confidential, yet betraying my irony. I didn't care for drama.
"Yeah. You gots it--Bingo!--that's right! You’re a big motha'fuck'a," he smiled as he drank, those lips curling into dimpled creases in his muscled, ebony face. "Tonight, I just need a man--OK? That's how it is wi Axle--" he completely killed his drink, then looked down at the bar, suddenly serious. "When my bitch acts up, I think about shit--what I need--what I want...."
“...and this time you didn't just think about it." I put a twenty on the bar and nodded to Joe. Axle waited till he was once again fixed up, then slid his glass over to clink mine.
His young, husky voice fell to a whisper as he leaned closer. "You want t' know th' truth?? I'm shakin' inside me, bein' here like dis. This ain't my scene, man—feel me?" He turned quickly to the side, but by now the crowd had learned to stay away. "--creeps me out."
"Then let's go," I pushed my drink away.
Axle looked left and right, the whites of his eyes very white in his dark, seriously handsome, and yes, seriously young face. "Yeah? No shit? --where, man?—yo got a place??"
I nodded. I’d questioned whether he'd never been in a gay bar before, but I knew that look--that look I myself had that first time out, so long ago now. That look? That look was real. That look bought him some cred. That look can't be faked.
He slid my drink back at me, then took a swallow from his. "I don' know--I don' know--you serious, huh? Me wich you ?" His eyes ran over my face--at my nose, bent over from boxing in college. "I don' go back tonight, she's gonna freak--" His eyes fell to the hair curling from the opened collar of my loosened, necktied shirt. "--Look, uh...."
"...Todd," I countered his nervousness with an open, no-pressure, blank face.
"...Yeah, man--Todd," he smiled quickly, his teeth dazzlingly white. "—this?” He pointed to his chest. “This ain't no act, feel me? I'm scared, ok?--" he looked to his right, then turned back, letting his baggy-jeaned leg dare to touch mine. He spoke down at his drink. "You sure is a big motha'..."
"...and you aren't?"
He laughed, his full lips spread. He lifted his rye, purposely flexing a T-shirted bicep. "--I is, that’s no lie!—takes anotha' dude t' say so, huh? She sure don' fuckin say it!" He laughed, then scowled. "--thinks it's all 'bout HER, man—the queen bee, the …” He was getting loose, the whiskey already more than his youth could handle.
"Ok, Axle--let's cut to the chase, here."
"Huh? What’s that mean??"
"--when you don't want your girlfriend," I fixed my eyes on his, not blinking, "--what do you think about?"
"You mean wi' a guy?" His voice fell, his eyes shifting left and right.
"Yes--with a guy, Axle. With a man."
"Shiiiiit," he grinned, then stopped--then drank—then grinned again and then frowned.
"Axle...."
"--ok, Todd-man--I hear yo'! Shit. This shit ain't easy for me, thas all. Chill out, gimme space, man--" he stirred his rye with a finger, looking lost in thought. "--not that gay porn shit, man--hear-what-I'm-sayin'?--not that fag shit. I ain't gonna suck...."
"--that's cool, Axle--ok?"
"--good! Ok, then," he cleared his throat, adam's-apple bobbing in his muscular neck. "--don't laugh, is all. Jus'...don't even SMILE, brotha!" His finger shot out from the glass to point in my face.
I opened both palms. "Who's laughing?"
"Yeah--ok--cool. Ok. Ya’ll cool wich Axle, huh?" His large, light-brown eyes searched mine.
I suddenly reached over and gave him a brotha' grip in reassurance.
"--yeah--tha's it, man--ok. I neva' told no one this shit, feel me?--" he took a quick sip. He looked around once more. His voice dropped. "--I see me with a white dude--older--a real man--like you, man...."
"--OK--"
"--someplace nice--no one gonna bust in, or mess it up, or that shit. Door locked...." He turned his glass with both hands--his hands large with prominent veins. "...an I's posing..." he looked at me quickly, then back at his drink. "--yeah--posin' fo' th' dude. An' he's watchin'. Watchin’ me strip. Openin' his shirt--sittin' there...undoin' his pants..." He laughed--then drank—then shrugged—then looked around. "--like that!"
I waited.
Axle raised his glass to his lips, his ice clinking. "--tha’s it--tha’s all."
He looked at me, sizing me up--looking like even a glimmer of a smile from me would send him out the door, back to his ass-kicking woman.
"....and then??"
He shrugged. "--and then?? Why, by then I's popped my cork, man!— and don' wanna think 'bout it no mo!" His smooth, broad brow attempted to furrow in thought. "--it's like my very own homemade porno flick in m' head when I'm fuckin' her, man. An' I get t' that part, and blow m' load...an', POOF!--it's over!..." He spread open his palms.
"How old are you, Axle?"
"Why?"
"I'm thirty-five--ok? And you're...."
"...nineteen. So what?" he flexed his arm. "--I ain't man enough for you, man?"
"C'mon, Axle," I pulled out my keys and stood up.
"What??--waz wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
He looked around, still sitting, like he was comfortable just talking.
I wasn't. It was decision time. "I've got a place. No one's going to be there or come in. Three locks on the door. A sofa...."
He pulled me back down onto my stool, his grip like iron, his voice a shaky whisper. "...no fag shit, huh, man? --no...."
"...I've got two bedrooms. You just want another couple of drinks? You change your mind all of a sudden? Don't feel like it?" I shrugged. "It's cool. Whatever. You go to your bed, I go to mine. I make you breakfast. You go patch it up with the girlfriend." I stood up again, waiting.
He tossed back his drink.
"Careful on the roads," Joe said, rolling his eyes.
story by posingstrap
The 'regulars' moved aside when he came in and took the stool beside mine.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself.”
"You waitin' for someone?" He looked around twenty, his body so built, even his high-cheekboned, velvet-skinned face looked muscular.
"No--I was just about to leave."
"I'm Axle. Who're you?"
"Todd."
"I don't like this place much, either." He looked around. "Yo' got plans, Mr. Todd?"
He had no drink--just swaggered right on through the dance floor drawing all eyes to his five-eleven, big-shouldered, big-biceped handsomeness.
Guys like Axle were an extreme rarity.
"It’s not Mr. Todd. It’s just Todd. And plans? No. No I don't have plans." I spoke down at my drink.
Axle laughed, the sound high spirited and sharp. "You think I's hustlin' yo white ass, don' you?"
I felt blood rise in my neck--a mix of surprise and annoyance. I don't much like being second-guessed or sized-up.
"Yeah, I do." I looked him up and down, then into his large and surprisingly soft brown eyes. "I'm twice your age."
"Shiiiit--get him another,” he theatrically announced to Joe, slapping a fifty on the bar. “--an' I'll have th' same,"
Axle swiftly turned and stared at the cloying, eavesdropping regulars. They backed off, moving into the shadows, trying to listen-in despite his glare, and the loud electronic music.
"I can't help that, man."
"What?--help what?" I raised my eyebrows, finishing my drink.
"That I'm a kid an' you’re a man--that's what," he pocketed his change, leaving two bucks for Joe. He sulked as he took a sip, then made a face. "What IS this shit?"
"Rye."
"Rye?? What th' fuck's 'Rye'?" he sipped again, his sexy lips curling over the glass.
"It's whiskey. It’s Canadian."
"Shiiiiiit!"
I had to smile.
"Don' act superior, wi’ me, man--I gets enuff a' that shit at work!"
My smile disappeared. "That’s on me, Axle. Sorry."
"Good--sayin' sorry's good. I neva' hear dat," he took way more than a sip this time.
Once again he turned to stare off the voyeurs. "What's wi' this place, man? They's like a bunch'a women."
"It's a gay bar, Axle," I shrugged, shifting my eyes to glimpse the nipple-stretching heft of his t-shirt. "What do you expect?"
"I nev'a been in one. My bitch kicked my black ass outta bed--so I came in t' see waz up."
"You want me to believe that, huh?" I didn't smile this time.
Axle came off the stool, turning full front. Over the white t-shirt was a black leather vest, his baggy jeans falling from his slim hips, revealing a 2(x)ist waistband . He crooked his fingers to gesture at his full-chested, big-all-over, V-shaped body.
"Does THIS look faggy t' you, man?--shiiit--" He fell dramatically back onto the stool, shaking his head.
Joe looked at me across the bar, not even having to roll his eyes.
“So, Axle, let me get this right...you're not queer, but you want to know if I've 'got plans'?" My voice was quiet, confidential, yet betraying my irony. I didn't care for drama.
"Yeah. You gots it--Bingo!--that's right! You’re a big motha'fuck'a," he smiled as he drank, those lips curling into dimpled creases in his muscled, ebony face. "Tonight, I just need a man--OK? That's how it is wi Axle--" he completely killed his drink, then looked down at the bar, suddenly serious. "When my bitch acts up, I think about shit--what I need--what I want...."
“...and this time you didn't just think about it." I put a twenty on the bar and nodded to Joe. Axle waited till he was once again fixed up, then slid his glass over to clink mine.
His young, husky voice fell to a whisper as he leaned closer. "You want t' know th' truth?? I'm shakin' inside me, bein' here like dis. This ain't my scene, man—feel me?" He turned quickly to the side, but by now the crowd had learned to stay away. "--creeps me out."
"Then let's go," I pushed my drink away.
Axle looked left and right, the whites of his eyes very white in his dark, seriously handsome, and yes, seriously young face. "Yeah? No shit? --where, man?—yo got a place??"
I nodded. I’d questioned whether he'd never been in a gay bar before, but I knew that look--that look I myself had that first time out, so long ago now. That look? That look was real. That look bought him some cred. That look can't be faked.
He slid my drink back at me, then took a swallow from his. "I don' know--I don' know--you serious, huh? Me wich you ?" His eyes ran over my face--at my nose, bent over from boxing in college. "I don' go back tonight, she's gonna freak--" His eyes fell to the hair curling from the opened collar of my loosened, necktied shirt. "--Look, uh...."
"...Todd," I countered his nervousness with an open, no-pressure, blank face.
"...Yeah, man--Todd," he smiled quickly, his teeth dazzlingly white. "—this?” He pointed to his chest. “This ain't no act, feel me? I'm scared, ok?--" he looked to his right, then turned back, letting his baggy-jeaned leg dare to touch mine. He spoke down at his drink. "You sure is a big motha'..."
"...and you aren't?"
He laughed, his full lips spread. He lifted his rye, purposely flexing a T-shirted bicep. "--I is, that’s no lie!—takes anotha' dude t' say so, huh? She sure don' fuckin say it!" He laughed, then scowled. "--thinks it's all 'bout HER, man—the queen bee, the …” He was getting loose, the whiskey already more than his youth could handle.
"Ok, Axle--let's cut to the chase, here."
"Huh? What’s that mean??"
"--when you don't want your girlfriend," I fixed my eyes on his, not blinking, "--what do you think about?"
"You mean wi' a guy?" His voice fell, his eyes shifting left and right.
"Yes--with a guy, Axle. With a man."
"Shiiiiit," he grinned, then stopped--then drank—then grinned again and then frowned.
"Axle...."
"--ok, Todd-man--I hear yo'! Shit. This shit ain't easy for me, thas all. Chill out, gimme space, man--" he stirred his rye with a finger, looking lost in thought. "--not that gay porn shit, man--hear-what-I'm-sayin'?--not that fag shit. I ain't gonna suck...."
"--that's cool, Axle--ok?"
"--good! Ok, then," he cleared his throat, adam's-apple bobbing in his muscular neck. "--don't laugh, is all. Jus'...don't even SMILE, brotha!" His finger shot out from the glass to point in my face.
I opened both palms. "Who's laughing?"
"Yeah--ok--cool. Ok. Ya’ll cool wich Axle, huh?" His large, light-brown eyes searched mine.
I suddenly reached over and gave him a brotha' grip in reassurance.
"--yeah--tha's it, man--ok. I neva' told no one this shit, feel me?--" he took a quick sip. He looked around once more. His voice dropped. "--I see me with a white dude--older--a real man--like you, man...."
"--OK--"
"--someplace nice--no one gonna bust in, or mess it up, or that shit. Door locked...." He turned his glass with both hands--his hands large with prominent veins. "...an I's posing..." he looked at me quickly, then back at his drink. "--yeah--posin' fo' th' dude. An' he's watchin'. Watchin’ me strip. Openin' his shirt--sittin' there...undoin' his pants..." He laughed--then drank—then shrugged—then looked around. "--like that!"
I waited.
Axle raised his glass to his lips, his ice clinking. "--tha’s it--tha’s all."
He looked at me, sizing me up--looking like even a glimmer of a smile from me would send him out the door, back to his ass-kicking woman.
"....and then??"
He shrugged. "--and then?? Why, by then I's popped my cork, man!— and don' wanna think 'bout it no mo!" His smooth, broad brow attempted to furrow in thought. "--it's like my very own homemade porno flick in m' head when I'm fuckin' her, man. An' I get t' that part, and blow m' load...an', POOF!--it's over!..." He spread open his palms.
"How old are you, Axle?"
"Why?"
"I'm thirty-five--ok? And you're...."
"...nineteen. So what?" he flexed his arm. "--I ain't man enough for you, man?"
"C'mon, Axle," I pulled out my keys and stood up.
"What??--waz wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
He looked around, still sitting, like he was comfortable just talking.
I wasn't. It was decision time. "I've got a place. No one's going to be there or come in. Three locks on the door. A sofa...."
He pulled me back down onto my stool, his grip like iron, his voice a shaky whisper. "...no fag shit, huh, man? --no...."
"...I've got two bedrooms. You just want another couple of drinks? You change your mind all of a sudden? Don't feel like it?" I shrugged. "It's cool. Whatever. You go to your bed, I go to mine. I make you breakfast. You go patch it up with the girlfriend." I stood up again, waiting.
He tossed back his drink.
"Careful on the roads," Joe said, rolling his eyes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *