What do you mean by "when it comes to the actual act"
Do you mean penetration or do you mean the entirety of a sexual session?
Look, I'm the first to say that a great lover understands the need for foreplay when necessary, which for me would be or would have been pretty much all the time. Build up and anticipation is key for me. None of this hard and fast crap unless I got to that point, but to be truthful the phrase "hard and fast" makes me think of jackhammering which is patently unsexy in my book and dare I say in a lot of other people's books.
As always, listening to your partner and picking up on cues is key. And talking to your partner about it. When did it become so unpopular just to freaking ask what they like?