Fellating The Ego - The Truth About Dicks

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m smuggling hamsters again in mine.

 

[918177]

I have been preparing for this after the last incident.

I have had cricket balls duct taped in my armpits to train them into a concave profile.

No longer will I have to be smuggled out by a armpit extraction team or in mammary cleavage with a sniper
on the roof.

I'm still having to deal with flashbacks waking up in cold sweats racing to a mirror to assure myself that
my contours are ok just I can draw breath and calm my racing heart.

The struggle is real.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

The real reason I missed him, and never "got over him": he didn't need me to stroke his ego. He never made me feel guilty about my past. He always told me the truth, even if he knew it was going to hurt me. He was REAL with me. He still is. It had NOTHING to do with his dick.

I was rereading this epic thread... thanks @fluffychocolate

I reread this post and this part stood out to me more this time for some reason. And I thought damn. Sounds like a good man to me. This is who Salt N Pepa sang about.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

I have been preparing for this after the last incident.

I have had cricket balls duct taped in my armpits to train them into a concave profile.

The struggle is real.

Will need pics of your alleged armpit concave profile improvements over time.

Be sure to track your gains. Meet me in the Armpit Forum if you ever wanna do some funky hairy pit camming. I’ve got the best pits in town.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

You know ladies, some armpit lover is wanking to this thread.

That’s probably because I keep him on the email list, apprised and updated daily of any and all concave armpit improvement gains. I’m now 10x9x8x7x6x5. Something for everybody.

And yes. That’s just how armpit gains are measured. It’s probably too complex for me to explain to someone who isn’t ‘in the know.’

 

[AlteredEgo]

I used the countour and highlight palette to create the perfect concave armpits, but then I went swimming.

But don't worry. I kept my face above water. They may have found out about my flat armpits, but they'll never learn the truth about my having a nose.

 

[918177]

I used the countour and highlight palette to create the perfect concave armpits, but then I went swimming.

But don't worry. I kept my face above water. They may have found out about my flat armpits, but they'll never learn the truth about my having a nose.

Don't forget to put black pillow slips on your pillow.

I made a rookie mistake of using white and when I woke in the morning the contouring makeup made my pillow case look like the shroud of Turin.
As luck would have I woke first and I was able to fix the issue with no harm done.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I used the countour and highlight palette to create the perfect concave armpits, but then I went swimming.

But don't worry. I kept my face above water. They may have found out about my flat armpits, but they'll never learn the truth about my having a nose.

TELL THE CHURCH

 

[AlteredEgo]

Don't forget to put black pillow slips on your pillow.

I made a rookie mistake of using white and when I woke in the morning the contouring makeup made my pillow case look like the shroud of Turin.
As luck would have I woke first and I was able to fix the issue with no harm done.

We'll have to have a bootcamp. I'll teach all the sistren to either part their hair just so, or pile it atop the head and above the pillow. Thusly, one can lie on her back and awake rested, face still made, hair un-mussed. Alternatively, all sistren can learn to put all one's hair over one shoulder, and lie not quite on the other, not quite on one's back. This a woman can do when spooning is preferred/required.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I just run around uncontoured. I force the reality of my horrid face onto the male gaze, and I watch them cringe at my lack of any attempt to give them wood.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I just run around uncontoured. I force the reality of my horrid face onto the male gaze, and I watch them cringe at my lack of any attempt to give them wood.

But then how do you know your life has meaning? And what happens when the youths see that you have a nose? Oh Lawd! Won't somebody think of the youths?!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

But then how do you know your life has meaning? And what happens when the youths see that you have a nose? Oh Lawd! Won't somebody think of the youths?!

The rumors of me being a wicked witch will spread, and every Halloween I will live my best fucking life horrifying the masses!

 

[AlteredEgo]

That's what I do too. I love scaring everyone on Halloween, and I'm good at it. I just found a paint that can be tinted black but won't make my house energy inefficient. Oh, we are gonna be so spooky here all the time. But I wear a mask. I never let them find out I have a real nose. You're a pioneer!

 

[ArtAppreciation]

That's what I do too. I love scaring everyone on Halloween, and I'm good at it. I just found a paint that can be tinted black but won't make my house energy inefficient. Oh, we are gonna be so spooky here all the time. But I wear a mask. I never let them find out I have a real nose. You're a pioneer!

Is this going to be in that relaxing chill AF looking room with the pretty lights that you posted a pic of a few days ago?

 

[ArtAppreciation]

I've stroked egos/reassured men with big dicks who were bad lays, men with small dicks who were bad lays, men with average dicks who were bad lays, and generally been kind + complimentary in some way to every person I've ever taken to bed.

How else are they going to improve? This is a brilliant strategy because people wither under a spirit of criticism and they flourish under approval. Well done Fade

 

[ArtAppreciation]

I had 8 chocolate crunchy shell Easter eggs for my ....brunch today. It’s the meal between the toaster, breakfast and lunch

 

[AlteredEgo]

Is this going to be in that relaxing chill AF looking room with the pretty lights that you posted a pic of a few days ago?

Scaring trick-or-treaters? No.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

We'll have to have a bootcamp. I'll teach all the sistren to either part their hair just so, or pile it atop the head and above the pillow. Thusly, one can lie on her back and awake rested, face still made, hair un-mussed. Alternatively, all sistren can learn to put all one's hair over one shoulder, and lie not quite on the other, not quite on one's back. This a woman can do when spooning is preferred/required.

Or, grow pit hair and say F**k the Patriarchy.

AE, this reminded me of a section of Memoirs of a Geisha and the wooden "pillows" to protect their intricate hairstyles.
I'll stay with my satin sleep cap. Oh, so sexy.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

Scaring trick-or-treaters? No.

hehe I meant the part about it being dark all the time and you're wearing a mask, pioneering and something about how nobody can know that your nose is real. That's where i thought this room was and it sounded perfect for all of that.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

Or, grow pit hair and say F**k the Patriarchy.

AE, this reminded me of a section of Memoirs of a Geisha and the wooden "pillows" to protect their intricate hairstyles.
I'll stay with my satin sleep cap. Oh, so sexy.

You have satin sleep caps? I need to get one of those.

I sometimes take a silky pillowcase and making it into one of those turby twist situations. The fabric can reduce damage and frizziness I think. It apparently reduces friction caused to hair against cotton bed pillow cases or something? Other people are likely to know more about this than me

I need a silky sleep cap in my life right now.