Finally Giving In

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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Forgetting the whole debate about your true sexual orientation or even the issue of what exactly occurred in your case, every time I see posts similar to this I think both the OP and even some respondents are missing the elephant in the room.

There is nothing wrong in being curious or even choosing to act upon it, but it is more the matter of how you are doing it. You obviously did this without your wife's knowledge and useless you're prepared to tell us you have since come clean, she still does not know you tried to fly your freak flag with another guy.

So the question becomes one of would you invite another woman over to do the same and would you feel more or less differently about it afterwards if so? Would you think that was cheating, while somehow having a clandestine rendezvous with another guy is not? And how would your wife feel if she did find out this took place? While there may be a few wives who might feel less threatened that their husband didn't have a sexual encounter with another woman; I think a lot more might not only still be upset but have the double whammy finding out about their secret same-sex attraction if the couple never openly discussed it before.

My only advice would be without bringing up this encounter, find the right time and place to admit to her about your curiosity and if she is cool with it you will then have the advantage of exploring this in a safer setting that won't require all the secret squirrel stuff that could endanger your marriage or life. I don't think you are seeking advice on the right way to explore your curiosity so much as looking for acknowledgment that what you are doing is not cheating. It is.
 

twoton

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I’m bringing the judgement, dammit. Someone has to.

You are married. In case you weren’t paying attention to the whole “wedding vows” thing, getting married means you gave up the privilege of hooking up for the rest of your married life.

The next time you get horny, think about the betrayal you’re about to perpetrate before you penetrate.
 
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njfellow2002

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Sounds like the guy just got weirded out a little bit....you were basically one step further along in your exploration then he was ready for. Sounds like you learned your lesson about having a stranger to you home for a 'first time meeting'--- If someone won't go through a basic 'vetting' (email, phone call, PUBLIC meeting first time to chat)---there might be a reason. Sounds like you got lucky with a normal guy that just was not ready to play. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the real thing for some people.