Finding out?

AlteredEgo

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There were times I'd chill with a women and she would leave one min come back and her hair would be in a ponytail and I'm thinking damn is she trying to look good for me?
If I leave to do a ponytail I have realized I am uncomfortable, and decided I either have no need/desire to impress you, and choose comfort over my usual, fabulous style, or I caught sight of myself and realized my hair is doing its own thing, and not the thing I asked it to do, and because I NEVER walk around looking busted, I reined that shit in and got it under control. What I do with my hair is always about me. It is either about my comfort, or my sense of style. It is not a hint for you.

You are ignoring what you've been told by @Betty_Cocker . She is trying, seemingly failing, to convey to you the following: Forget about clues. Your instincts will tell you what you need to know. If someone habitually mistreats you, or is always drunk, you don't need to know if she likes you or not. You need to leave her alone. If someone insists on only ever dropping vague, subtle hints, forget her. She doesn't deserve to have what she wants, because she is unwilling to make her intentions clear.

You are also ignoring something I have tried to tell you. Stop worrying about what someone else is thinking. Just worry about what YOU are thinking. You want to fuck her? Kiss her. If she let's you, you can probably move it forward organically from there. If she balks or stops you, apologize. You've barked up the wrong tree. It happens.

As I see it, you have two serious problems. And I say serious because these problems will fuck up not just your social life, but all aspects of life if you cannot overcome them. Problem the first: You are weighted down by an unnatural level of passivity, instigated by an intense fear of failure. Embrace potential failure as a learning opportunity, and remember that he who attempts to protect himself from every possibility of pain or failure succeeds in protecting himself from happiness and fulfilment. Cut it out. Problem the second: You are so busy being stuck in your head over-analyzing everything that you fail to pick up on obvious, plainly expressed, frank statements that are made to you. This is a symptom of attention disorder. I highly recommend amphetamines. Talk to a doctor and get that shit under control. A mental hygiene professional can work with you to develop coping strategies for the long term, and get you medicine to help you focus better for the short term. I also suffer from an attention disorder, so I know what I'm talking about. Anytime you find yourself constantly having to confess to your disorder just to get through a conversation, you need help. Help is available.
 

AlteredEgo

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I'm not the type to call women out on little things sometimes I just let it go with the flow but your right sometimes I also need to man up and just ask. Your right your not "her" but you are a woman and you can give your opinion as to why would YOU play with YOUR hair or giggle after every sentence or touchy feely know what I'm saying?
Nononononono! What some of us have tried to say you should do is think about whether or not it means something if YOU mess with YOUR hair or laugh a lot. Put yourself in her shoes in the context of the situation. It is not easier for women to do than it is for you. It is easier for ANYONE who understands the meaning of the word empathy. Look it up, and apply it to yourself. Learn to empathize, or ultimately fail at life. Just about everything in life is about selling something, either yourself, or your ideas. If you cannot empathize, you cannot guess at the motives of others. If you cannot guess at the motives of others, there is nothing you can sell. That's truth, whether you need to sell a product, a service, yourself, or an idea. Lots of people are trying to help with this concept. Find a way to grasp it. For real.
 

efrmtexas87

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Ok and this is why I've been single most of my life and feel like it's going to be like this for a long time again and you expect me to gain confidence or have it if you say things like it will fuck up your social and real life if I don't get this shit under control? I appreciate you for being real and upfront so if I come defensive then bare with me. Ok the hair thing sometimes she also puts it down she just changes it up depending on the day so if your uncomfortable then tell me or tell me to leave so I can keep it moving shit I get uncomfortable too and sometimes I say what's on my mind. Stop worrying what other people think so I should just do what I choose to make them uncomfortable? Just do want I please say what I please no matter who's offended and just go with it? Sometimes things are meant to be said and sometimes not so I pick and choose when to say certain things to not offend people. Also with the problems do you think I'll have a chance with a women if I don't get this issues situated? If not its cool I know men that's over 50 and never been married so if I have to become that guy then so be it it's better than worrying about getting cheated on all my life and dealing with other bull shit problems. Yes I'm talking out of anger frustration you name it because I feel like I'm getting teamed up by all of you and I'm trying my very hardest to understand shit my ass ain't perfect and I can't get no help at the moment because I have no money so I have to deal with it. Another problem you told me to put myself in her shoes I heard this multiple times and I'm telling you I don't know why she would do this that's why I am asking women because I never mess with my hair in front of women so I wouldn't know. Y'all make it seem like we're supposed to know every sign and everything yall do sorry it doesn't work that way. If what I say once again does not get anything cleared up and your just going to bash me into another corner than thanks for trying to help but I'm finished I can't take it.
 

efrmtexas87

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And you know what's funny I shared this with my mother and she said everything you said is spot on and that you are trying to help me not bash me down and she even told me that I need to get help. Thanks.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Y'all make it seem like we're supposed to know every sign and everything yall do sorry it doesn't work that way. If what I say once again does not get anything cleared up and your just going to bash me into another corner than thanks for trying to help but I'm finished I can't take it.

See.. this is My issue here. I've pointed out more than once that you keep lumping women into one category, and men into your own and we keep telling you that's what you're not getting. Men can't read women, well we can't read you guys either... and we can't read each other. You ask a question, get some honest responses, then get upset when the answers you get aren't exactly what you wanted to hear. That's why I said, perhaps you'll find more answers if you silence the ones that are already in your mind. Whether you realize it or not, you already have generalizations about women/men in your mind. Like the other thread you wanted more responses from different women and stated several times that we shouldn't be 'shy'. You assumed that was the most likely reason you weren't getting the response you want.

No one here has 'bashed' you at all. We're just being honest. I don't mean to upset you.. I only mean to give you my honest advice, because that's what you asked for.

And you know what's funny I shared this with my mother and she said everything you said is spot on and that you are trying to help me not bash me down and she even told me that I need to get help. Thanks.

I think you just need to find a way to focus and relieve some stress in a more healthy way. Sounds like you have a wonderful woman in your life you can turn to. I'll be around here if you need anymore random, honest thoughts from a fellow LPSGer.
 
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See.. this is My issue here. I've pointed out more than once that you keep lumping women into one category, and men into your own and we keep telling you that's what you're not getting. Men can't read women, well we can't read you guys either... and we can't read each other. You ask a question, get some honest responses, then get upset when the answers you get aren't exactly what you wanted to hear. That's why I said, perhaps you'll find more answers if you silence the ones that are already in your mind. Whether you realize it or not, you already have generalizations about women/men in your mind. Like the other thread you wanted more responses from different women and stated several times that we shouldn't be 'shy'. You assumed that was the most likely reason you weren't getting the response you want.

No one here has 'bashed' you at all. We're just being honest. I don't mean to upset you.. I only mean to give you my honest advice, because that's what you asked for.

Yeah, for all his questions and wanting help/advice, he lumps women all into the same category a lot. That's one of the things I've found the most offputting/obnoxious so far, that he keeps doing.
 

efrmtexas87

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I'm done. I don't know what else to say. I've said all I could and it seems like it's getting no where and I tried. Thanks Ego Fade Betty TNJ and everyone else for your honest answers.
 

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I'm done. I don't know what else to say. I've said all I could and it seems like it's getting no where and I tried.

I know you said you're done, and I'm guessing that means you don't particularly want any more responses... but I have one last thing to add, and it really is simply an honest observation and not any kind of attack on you. You say you don't know what else to say, but you don't have to say anything. What you need to do is take a step back and just think about the things we've said in our responses to your questions.

It seems like the reason it's getting nowhere is because you're still waiting for someone to say something that might somehow validate your own ideas about what may/may not be going on between you and this girl you're telling us about. I'm sorry but that's simply not going to help you with anything. The truth isn't always the most fun thing in the world to face, but the only way we get to where we want to be in life is by facing it and learning from it. I also would like to add... You've been respectful and I appreciate that. Some people aren't as polite when they receive honest answers.

The new year is just a few days away. I know it's just a symbolic thing, but it's a whole new year and it's a whole new opportunity to grow and experience new things with new people. Don't let the stress get to you, let that shit go. Easier said than done, I know.. but it can be done :)
 

efrmtexas87

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I know you said you're done, and I'm guessing that means you don't particularly want any more responses... but I have one last thing to add, and it really is simply an honest observation and not any kind of attack on you. You say you don't know what else to say, but you don't have to say anything. What you need to do is take a step back and just think about the things we've said in our responses to your questions.

It seems like the reason it's getting nowhere is because you're still waiting for someone to say something that might somehow validate your own ideas about what may/may not be going on between you and this girl you're telling us about. I'm sorry but that's simply not going to help you with anything. The truth isn't always the most fun thing in the world to face, but the only way we get to where we want to be in life is by facing it and learning from it. I also would like to add... You've been respectful and I appreciate that. Some people aren't as polite when they receive honest answers.

The new year is just a few days away. I know it's just a symbolic thing, but it's a whole new year and it's a whole new opportunity to grow and experience new things with new people. Don't let the stress get to you, let that shit go. Easier said than done, I know.. but it can be done :)

TNJ I thank you. You don't know how much this means. I can't thank you enough.
 
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EllieP

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Lmao yooooo that's funny I would def. have a hard time understanding but I wouldn't worry if I liked someone I'd be willing to learn or do anything to make it happen so don't even worry about it. Tell me you don't talk differently when your with your friends and then go back to your family trying to be proper? Ah I see a trend here dontchu? Oops don't you?

My father's grandmother was part Mexican, and a lot of her phrases were passed down, much to the chagrin of my proper Brit Mum! He still asks "are y'all gonna get down?" meaning are you going to get out of your car and visit. That one took me a while to shake myself.
 

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To be fair, I freely admit I don't like being involved with inexperienced people, much less virgins. Been there, done that, crap experience every single time. I don't think less of someone for being inexperienced, but thus far it has been a good indicator that we won't like the same kind of fucking. People being on a road to self-discovery and all that is lovely, but I don't want to be a part of it. I'm -quite- glad that the person I'm in love with and is my boyfriend had plenty of experience before me.

1: Fade, I just wanna say before anything else, the only reason I'm bringing up this older post of this conversation is that I sometimes enjoy re-reading conversations and I missed this. I'm not trying to make an argument against your post or anything. My following thoughts are only to show the contrast between different women as an example for efrmtexas87. Love ya chica ;)

2: efrmtexas87, I'm sorry to keep re-hatching this even thought you said you're done, but I have some things I think might be helpful for you, and potentially other readers who can relate to you. Some women share Fade's thoughts as stated above... but I know several women who actually really enjoy being the first woman a man has sex with. I wish I had some exact quotes, but one of my best friends said she loves being able to play the role of Teacher. She knew there would be a lack of experience, but that it was part of the fun. She took that chance to blow their minds and show them how amazing sex can really feel.

That's part of what I mean when I say I understand your point when you say men can't always read women, because we can't read each other either. We really do have vast differences depending on the individual woman.

Anyway, these are just a few more thoughts I hope can be helpful for someone. I've had a few shots of liquor and a few puffs of chronic... so I'm just feeling good and want to help others do the same. Much love muh-fuckaz
 
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efrmtexas87

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1: Fade, I just wanna say before anything else, the only reason I'm bringing up this older post of this conversation is that I sometimes enjoy re-reading conversations and I missed this. I'm not trying to make an argument against your post or anything. My following thoughts are only to show the contrast between different women as an example for efrmtexas87. Love ya chica ;)

2: efrmtexas87, I'm sorry to keep re-hatching this even thought you said you're done, but I have some things I think might be helpful for you, and potentially other readers who can relate to you. Some women share Fade's thoughts as stated above... but I know several women who actually really enjoy being the first woman a man has sex with. I wish I had some exact quotes, but one of my best friends said she loves being able to play the role of Teacher. She knew there would be a lack of experience, but that it was part of the fun. She took that chance to blow their minds and show them how amazing sex can really feel.

That's part of what I mean when I say I understand your point when you say men can't always read women, because we can't read each other either. We really do have vast differences depending on the individual woman.

Anyway, these are just a few more thoughts I hope can be helpful for someone. I've had a few shots of liquor and a few puffs of chronic... so I'm just feeling good and want to help others do the same. Much love muh-fuckaz

TNJ no need to apologize you can rewrite say anything as you please I don't mind if it's something good or something that I can relate to or that can help me and that I can carry on to my life I don't need that negativity bull shit I've had enough of that already in my life. I know I'm young and I'm going to experience more negativity I understand that but I can only take so much before I blow up and I'm not trying to do that and not many people understand that. I don't care if I sound like a soft dude it is what it is not every man in the world is tough hard I can be but depends on the situation. Anyways I know there are those type of women out there I just haven't found any and that's fine I'll just focus on me and if she comes around we'll see what happens. I now understand about the woman thoughts thing. I thank you for your time to post and trust me you and def. helping keep up the good work.
 

efrmtexas87

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My father's grandmother was part Mexican, and a lot of her phrases were passed down, much to the chagrin of my proper Brit Mum! He still asks "are y'all gonna get down?" meaning are you going to get out of your car and visit. That one took me a while to shake myself.

Haha that's cool Ellie you'll be suprised when you talk to people what kind of slang they speak it is def. a one of a kind experience.