Hey guys! Im a complete virgin and recently decided that I want to explore my sexuality more because I have been curious for a while. Im planning on meeting up with a guy in a a week or two and was hoping you guys had some advice for me? What should I do to prep? Anything I should be aware of or look for? Any tips? I think ill try topping and bottoming and sucking and pretty much everything haha. Thanks guys!
First Time Help
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Unless you want to try practising lots of bottoming beforehand just make sure you're freshly showered, well brushed teeth, mouthwash and douched properly.
Also make sure to use condoms and lots of lube. On the topic of lube make sure you're using one that you are compatible with. Most lubes contain glycerol and parabens. These make my ass burn horribly. If you don't know if your ass is comfortable with most regular lubes then get one free of those additives to help ensure success.
Also make sure to use condoms and lots of lube. On the topic of lube make sure you're using one that you are compatible with. Most lubes contain glycerol and parabens. These make my ass burn horribly. If you don't know if your ass is comfortable with most regular lubes then get one free of those additives to help ensure success.
Aliton
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On the topic of douching, how does one prepare if one doesn’t own those special hose/nozzles or fiber pills? Every time someone talks about cleaning out they always mention that, but I don’t have either. Help
That's a good question.
Having been blessed with a shower of excellent water pressure when I was young I'd just use that. No special nozzle, no special head for it, I simply pressed the water jets against my hole and the water pressure did the rest, squirted straight inside me. Make sure you get the water temp right though. Too cold and you'll feel like you're cramping inside, too hot and that's not nice either.
If you've got a shower with a variable stream setting, the one where you reduce the stream to a few narrow, powerful, jets might do the trick. Although I tried this at my friends and the water pressure wasn't enough to get it inside me. I was quite surprised!
Beyond that get creative. I don't actually have a douche. I have one of these...
Prescribed by my doctor years ago to try and help with a nasal issue. It didn't work at all with that but I looked at the bottle and thought. Well if it squirts water up my nose why can't I sit on it and squirt it up my butt? So yeah, squirt, poop, squirt, poop until the water runs clear.
The bonus of nasal rinse bottle is that no one would think anything of it.
Another option would be to use a bottle of some sort, even a standard 2 litre one that you get at the shop with coke/water in. Unscrew the cap, use something to poke a hole in the cap, fill the bottle with water, put the cap back on. Press your hole tightly against the lid and squeeze the bottle. It'll probably take a bit of practise to find how hard you need to squeeze the bottle or how hard you need to sit on the bottle but it should work. I mean technically you could use a bit of lube and insert the lid before squeezing! Yeah it'll be messy but douching is messy, so do it sitting in the bath/shower.
And I just found this...
Problem solved. Just be careful inserting the pointy nozzle. Well I mean you can make it less pointy.
Having been blessed with a shower of excellent water pressure when I was young I'd just use that. No special nozzle, no special head for it, I simply pressed the water jets against my hole and the water pressure did the rest, squirted straight inside me. Make sure you get the water temp right though. Too cold and you'll feel like you're cramping inside, too hot and that's not nice either.
If you've got a shower with a variable stream setting, the one where you reduce the stream to a few narrow, powerful, jets might do the trick. Although I tried this at my friends and the water pressure wasn't enough to get it inside me. I was quite surprised!
Beyond that get creative. I don't actually have a douche. I have one of these...
Prescribed by my doctor years ago to try and help with a nasal issue. It didn't work at all with that but I looked at the bottle and thought. Well if it squirts water up my nose why can't I sit on it and squirt it up my butt? So yeah, squirt, poop, squirt, poop until the water runs clear.
The bonus of nasal rinse bottle is that no one would think anything of it.
Another option would be to use a bottle of some sort, even a standard 2 litre one that you get at the shop with coke/water in. Unscrew the cap, use something to poke a hole in the cap, fill the bottle with water, put the cap back on. Press your hole tightly against the lid and squeeze the bottle. It'll probably take a bit of practise to find how hard you need to squeeze the bottle or how hard you need to sit on the bottle but it should work. I mean technically you could use a bit of lube and insert the lid before squeezing! Yeah it'll be messy but douching is messy, so do it sitting in the bath/shower.
And I just found this...
Problem solved. Just be careful inserting the pointy nozzle. Well I mean you can make it less pointy.
Aliton
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Thanks a lot man. You probably don’t remember replying to this, but I finally bought the bottle in the video you sent with your reply, and it works like a charm! My second question now is: How long should I douche before I’m considered clean? I understand that the amount of time can change, but what would you consider the average amount before being considered clean?
Same bottle I use to douche out my hole! can fill it up..hold it upright under your while on toilet and douche out your hole!
You keep doing it until the water coming out of you is clean and clear. It starts off brown and with bits in. Ideally it should come out as clean as it goes in. In other words looks crystal clear. When you reach that point you're good to go.
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The thing is, I’ve tried that, I got to the point where the water came out clear repeatedly, but when I would use a dildo there would still be ”accidents” covering it. Any suggestions?
Yes, use the dildo while you are cleaning- what is happening is that you have cleaned the parts of your rectum that are cleanable with your insides in the slightly folded position they are in. When you insert the dildo, it unfolds some of these folds and you see on your dildo what they retain. You can buy an anal cleaning attachment for your shower hose and they are very quick and effective.
Also, depending on your physiology, you may be inserting your dildo past your "second hole" which is in fact the rectosigmoid junction. It is 5-8" from the anus in most people; a FB of mine has a much shorter anus than this and if I fuck him slowly I can feel the change from rectum to colon.
https://www.grindrbloop.com/zine/2020/gay-sex-ed-the-third-hole
Know your ass for better sex | PULSE CLINIC - Asia's Leading Sexual Healthcare Network.
Yeah the second hole is the bane of douching and anal sex. Even if you clean out all of the rectum go a bit deeper and you'll pass into the sigmoid colon. Your dildo will then get messy.
That junction is closed off with a valve/sphinctor most of the time and cleaning beyond it can be a pain. Once you start cleaning out beyond you run the risk of trapping water inside yourself and run the risk of a never ending douche cycle that ends up with you needing to clean out lots of the colon for the water to run clear.
All of this depends on your anatomy and the composition of your stool. Some people seem to have zero trouble with any of this but others...it's a real nightmare.
The rectum does indeed have folds/valves in it too but I've always found even gentle douching fully opens these up. This might vary from person to person too.
It all depends on what it is you're trying to douche for. A small prostate massager, small dildo, medium dildo, long dildo, fisting. All need different depths to be cleaned out for no mess play. If you're always going into your second hole with your current dildo (you can usually feel this happening when you fuck yourself) a shorter dildo would stop that happening as would douching deeper.
If you fill up your rectum with water till it's completely full you should feel the pressure at this point. If you hold the pressure high at some point the sigmoid colon should open up and you'll feel the pressure suddenly go away as the water has flower deeper inside you. Now you can push this out and clean deeper. Trouble is this deeper in the water doesn't necessarily come out as easily.
That junction is closed off with a valve/sphinctor most of the time and cleaning beyond it can be a pain. Once you start cleaning out beyond you run the risk of trapping water inside yourself and run the risk of a never ending douche cycle that ends up with you needing to clean out lots of the colon for the water to run clear.
All of this depends on your anatomy and the composition of your stool. Some people seem to have zero trouble with any of this but others...it's a real nightmare.
The rectum does indeed have folds/valves in it too but I've always found even gentle douching fully opens these up. This might vary from person to person too.
It all depends on what it is you're trying to douche for. A small prostate massager, small dildo, medium dildo, long dildo, fisting. All need different depths to be cleaned out for no mess play. If you're always going into your second hole with your current dildo (you can usually feel this happening when you fuck yourself) a shorter dildo would stop that happening as would douching deeper.
If you fill up your rectum with water till it's completely full you should feel the pressure at this point. If you hold the pressure high at some point the sigmoid colon should open up and you'll feel the pressure suddenly go away as the water has flower deeper inside you. Now you can push this out and clean deeper. Trouble is this deeper in the water doesn't necessarily come out as easily.
^^^^ What he said, but be a bit careful with any pressure. You will learn from the sensation what is ok and what is going to hurt very soon. filling and holding is effective too and assists in developing strong anal muscles. Holding for a minute or two also assists in cleaning if you happen to have a wrinkly or folded rectum. Warm water relaxes; cold water tends to tense things up down there.
I learnt to clean out before the age we can talk about, long before I had any interest in sex with men- somehow I found that it felt good! I was in my thirties before I discovered my interest in men and 3 months+ of every type of M2M sex daily (with one partner) before anal sex felt good to me, so be patient. I've gently worked myself with dildos up to the point where after a minute or two of cleaning I can accommodate a 11 x 5.5" dildo without mess at the time or later; developing good muscle tone is helpful to avoid issues when using a larger dildo.
Diet is a big part of it too- you want a good amount of fibre in your diet so your stools are soft but fully formed and coated in anal mucus, not at all sticky or clingy. If you can insert a finger in your anus and feel soft stools, and your finger comes out clean but sticky that's about right.
Aliton
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As long as you used protection then you don't need to get tested just because you had sex with one person. They recommend getting tested every three months if you're sexually active and every month if you engage in risky sex regularly.
Of course if you don't intend on having sex again for a while (like a year) then it's a good idea to get tested just to make sure you didn't pick anything up.
By the way you need to wait a certain amount of time, called the window period, for any infections you could have caught to manifest otherwise the tests won't be able to detect them.
For Chlamydia and gonorrhoea this is usually about 14 days. But for anything else is usually recommended to wait 3 months.
If you get symptoms that's different and you'll need to go to your local GUM clinic for treatment. Still if you get symptoms and go after a week of having sex then any tests they do won't be accurate for anything other than the infection you've started to show symptoms for. So you'll need to get tested again at three months.
Of course if you don't intend on having sex again for a while (like a year) then it's a good idea to get tested just to make sure you didn't pick anything up.
By the way you need to wait a certain amount of time, called the window period, for any infections you could have caught to manifest otherwise the tests won't be able to detect them.
For Chlamydia and gonorrhoea this is usually about 14 days. But for anything else is usually recommended to wait 3 months.
If you get symptoms that's different and you'll need to go to your local GUM clinic for treatment. Still if you get symptoms and go after a week of having sex then any tests they do won't be accurate for anything other than the infection you've started to show symptoms for. So you'll need to get tested again at three months.
